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"Which Europeans Would Make Best Post Apocalyptic Pirates?" Topic

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1,113 hits since 13 May 2018
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Cacique Caribe Inactive Member14 May 2018 3:39 a.m. PST

Let's assume a flooded future, with a "modest" 100-meter rise to the oceans …

A) Would most of the pirates come from the nations that were almost obliterated by the rising seas, with the trickiest new islands to navigate?
B) Or would they come from the nations least affected by the rising waters, but who took in the most people from flooded countries?
C) Or would it simply come down to which are the traditional maritime cultures ("Scandinavians" and others)?
D) All the above?
E) None of the above?


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Frederick Supporting Member of TMP14 May 2018 4:38 a.m. PST

Countries with maritime experience that have had a lot of economic disruption – the ones with maritime experience and solid economies don't need pirates, they have navies

I am not thinking Scandinanvia but maybe the UK if thing really go south, or the Russians – maybe even the currently law-abiding Dutch, as they have a long maritime tradition of taking stuff from other people

For countries with major impacts but no maritime tradition, it does take some time to sort that sort of thing out

Cacique Caribe Inactive Member14 May 2018 4:45 a.m. PST

I imagine lots of concrete bridges and overpasses getting repurposed, and forming new dwellings, defenseless and ready for the picking. Or even barge "towns".



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And someone will probably do some patrolling of the waters, to keep the small raiding parties away.


PS. By the way, I just found this picture of a Post Apocalyptic "Viking" (Rus?), just in case. There's no telling what god they will be worshipping then (Thor or something else), but the subtle skull motif works ok there.


Wackmole9 Supporting Member of TMP14 May 2018 4:58 a.m. PST

So you made the mistake and watch "Waterworld" Again, Didn't you, come on admit it.

Cacique Caribe Inactive Member14 May 2018 5:02 a.m. PST


LOL. Yes, I am so ashamed. It was on tv last night, and I think my brain got possessed once again!

PS. Then I started looking at a weird webcomic called "Stand Still, Stay Silent", about a Post Apocalyptic Scandinavia. So I guess some Scandinavians might be left after all: :)




Personal logo StoneMtnMinis Supporting Member of TMP14 May 2018 5:57 a.m. PST

My money would be on the Chinese. Their economy is fragile and a disruption of this nature the country would fall back to warlord rulers. And with few natural resources piracy becomes the obvious choice.

Personal logo StoneMtnMinis Supporting Member of TMP14 May 2018 5:58 a.m. PST

Oops, sorry missed the European premise.

Legion 414 May 2018 6:32 a.m. PST

It like the gunboat with the Pz IV F1 Turret and the "Rus" Pirate !

zoneofcontrol Inactive Member14 May 2018 6:47 a.m. PST

If we are accepting people from places other than Europe, my vote goes for the ARRRGGGentina.

robert piepenbrink Supporting Member of TMP14 May 2018 8:50 a.m. PST

This is one of those things which could go so many ways for so many reasons that I think the honest answer is "whichever ones you have (or want to buy) figures for."

If we want to introduce "realism"--must we?--remember that mostly this sort of thing goes with collapsed government, so no one's paying for a navy to stop it, and that stressed populations where there are too many sons born for the number of farms contribute to mercenary units, but generally only to vikings or piracy if they've grown up among boats. (Very few Swiss pirates--which is no doubt why the Swiss Navy is so small.)

Stryderg14 May 2018 11:46 a.m. PST

Looking at the first map, the British Isles, Holland, and Germany would probably be your best bets for pirates. France and Poland fall into the "maybe" category. The countries north of Belarus will probably go pirate.

Lots of floating cities anchored around the now flooded cities so the population can dive down and collect stuff. Think of huge diving bells, wooden columns dropped to the bottom and then pumped out so they can climb down and do some exploring (quite a dangerous job, that).

foxweasel14 May 2018 12:35 p.m. PST

I always thought pirates had to have a traditional west country "arrr shiver me timbers" accent. As Cornwall, Devon and Bristol are still on the map, all will be well in the world of pirating.

Personal logo Patrick R Supporting Member of TMP14 May 2018 10:24 p.m. PST

I would like to think that the billionaires with massive high-powered yachts would only need a few tweaks to add guns and torpedoes and go off on wild hunts across the mediterranean, so Monaco or Ibiza seems like a likely place to find lots of yacht pirates !

Cacique Caribe Inactive Member15 May 2018 2:55 a.m. PST


LOL. The billionaires? Maybe if they can lead the attacks via remote control. :)


Bob Hume15 May 2018 6:00 a.m. PST

According to Hollywood, the British are the evil of the world. Have you not seen Star Wars or a number of other movies?

Mobius15 May 2018 10:10 a.m. PST

First of all you have to decide where the sea lanes would be that had the best booty. Then you have to have a base where you can interdict them.
Also, what kind of resistance you are likely to encounter. With most of the polar ice gone you might get ship traffic across the Polar Sea or North of Siberia.
Some islands there would be far from European navies and be along the East/West trade routes.

Cacique Caribe Inactive Member15 May 2018 1:04 p.m. PST

Mobius: "First of all you have to decide where the sea lanes would be that had the best booty."

Spot on. The shipping routes will all have changed, as will the centers of wealth and trade.


Zephyr115 May 2018 1:30 p.m. PST

Well, the British by this time would have abandoned surface craft in favor of living in yellow submarines… ;-)

"(Very few Swiss pirates--which is no doubt why the Swiss Navy is so small.)"

Hasn't stopped them from deploying an aircraft carrier on one of their lakes… ;-)

Louie N15 May 2018 1:58 p.m. PST

The north would return the way of the Viking!

Cacique Caribe Inactive Member16 May 2018 4:47 a.m. PST

Well, from looking at the maps, it doesn't look like the borders of Norway will be affected much by the rising sea levels. Sweden still looks better than most of their neighbors to the South.

So fear of rising waters alone isn't what would drive them out to sea.

Maybe that's where all the Danes and Low Germans end up moving to, if they can't move inland for whatever reason once their lands disappear.

Maybe the Dutch will go on to make levees for other people.



Puster17 May 2018 1:06 a.m. PST

For pirating you need someone to prey upon, and either a lack of control or sanctioned piracy. Depends on som many factors that you can do what you want…


Assumes that flooding will lead to nuclear war (starting at ex-Bangladesh between India and Pakistan, spreading from there) and thus a nuclear winter that reverses a lot..

We created a "Mad Max with ships" game on it, but did not yet translate the rules :-/

Mobius18 May 2018 9:30 a.m. PST

Mad Max is just the opposite. Didn't all the water evaporate in Mad Max fury road? Where did it go? To the poles?

At one point it is said that they had to ride motorcycles for 50 days before they might find water. They must not be riding Harley's because those hold only about 4 gallons of gas and have less than 200 mile range. Unless the run out of gas and have to walk for 49 days.

Cacique Caribe Inactive Member18 May 2018 5:40 p.m. PST

Mobius: "Unless the run out of gas and have to walk for 49 days."

LOL. That sounds like the most likely scenario.


Puster21 May 2018 3:23 a.m. PST

they had to ride motorcycles for 50 days

OK. Lets assume they make some 500km/day – which means a measly 100km/h for five hours, or 50 for 10. Riding that for 50 days means that unless you circled you are 25.000 km from where you started. There are not many places on earth you could NOT reach thus. Of course unless you aim well, you WILL splash into water before, but…

Twoball Cane21 May 2018 9:05 a.m. PST

Irish, English and the Scandinavians

deflatermouse22 May 2018 6:28 p.m. PST

The English.

They've been stealing stuff for a millennia now….

Cacique Caribe Inactive Member10 Jul 2018 9:02 p.m. PST

Just happened to ask the wife …

She found the idea interesting. Her answer was a bit vague though. She says whichever country ends up releasing the most violent criminals before the flood waters claim the prison facilities. They'll just force boat and ship captains to pilot vessels for them.

She might have a point. Where would they move them to? They would probably just let them go, only to encounter them again later in some vicious raids, on land or sea.


War Monkey12 Jul 2018 6:48 a.m. PST

Very good point, what do you do with all the inmates in prison?

Tgunner04 Aug 2018 5:34 p.m. PST

Viking??? Bah!!! It's the neo-Romans you need to worry about as they rebuild the Roman Empire.


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