A rabbi, a priest, and a disciple of Nurgle walk into an inn.
The innkeeper says, "We don't get many religious groups in here. What'll it be?"
The rabbi says, "Wine."
The priest says, "Ale."
The disciple of Nurgle says, "Whatever's been sitting in the cellar since the last plague."
A week later, the rabbi and priest are still arguing theology.
The disciple of Nurgle has somehow become employee of the month, head of sanitation, and is affectionately referred to by everyone as "Grandpa."
Nobody can remember exactly when this happened. Or why the ale now has chunks in it.
-----
A rabbi, a priest, and a disciple of Slaanesh walk into an inn.
The innkeeper asks, "What can I get you?"
The rabbi says, "Tea."
The priest says, "Ale."
The disciple of Slaanesh spends forty-five minutes discussing vintages, glassware, atmosphere, lighting, music selection, seating ergonomics, and whether the ale has truly embraced its own ale-ness.
Finally the innkeeper says, "So… one ale?"
The disciple sighs.
"Gods, no. The anticipation was the best part."
-----
A rabbi, a priest, and a disciple of Tzeentch walk into an inn.
The innkeeper asks, "What'll you have?"
The rabbi says, "Wine."
The priest says, "Ale."
The disciple of Tzeentch smiles mysteriously and says, "I already ordered."
The innkeeper checks the bar. No order.
Checks the kitchen. No order.
Checks the cellar. No order.
An hour later a messenger arrives carrying a bottle of wine, a mug of ale, a roast chicken, three cabbages, a live goose, and a legal deed transferring ownership of the inn to a man nobody has ever met.
The innkeeper demands, "What is all this?"
The disciple beams.
"Exactly as planned."
"Planned by whom?"
The disciple pauses.
"…that is an excellent question."
The rabbi and priest quietly pay their tabs and leave before anyone starts explaining.
-----
A rabbi, a priest, and a disciple of Khorne walk into an inn.
The innkeeper asks, "What'll it be?"
The rabbi says, "Wine."
The priest says, "Ale."
The disciple of Khorne says, "A fight."
The innkeeper replies, "We don't serve fights."
The disciple nods thoughtfully.
"Then I'll have whatever starts one."
The rabbi and priest exchange a worried glance.
The innkeeper sighs and points to a sign behind the bar:
NO FIGHTING.
The disciple of Khorne studies it for a moment.
Then he says, "A challenge, then."
"To what?"
"Reading."
The rabbi narrows his eyes.
The priest groans.
Three hours later, the inn has been reduced to splinters, two tables are on fire, the sign is embedded in the ceiling, and seventeen patrons are passionately arguing grammar.
The disciple of Khorne sits happily amid the wreckage.
"What happened?" asks the innkeeper.
The disciple shrugs.
"Khorne cares not from whence the conflict flows."*
* The rabbi maintains it was a debate. The priest insists it was a discussion. This disagreement is expected to continue indefinitely.
-----
A rabbi, a priest, and a disciple of Malal walk into an inn.
The innkeeper asks, "What can I get you?"
The rabbi says, "Wine."
The priest says, "Ale."
The disciple of Malal says, "I oppose this establishment on principle."
The innkeeper shrugs. "Then leave."
"I oppose leaving."
"Then stay."
"I oppose staying."
The rabbi rubs his temples.
The priest finishes his ale.
The disciple continues arguing with himself for another hour.
Finally, exhausted, he stands up and declares, "I have defeated my greatest enemy."
The innkeeper asks, "Who?"
The disciple looks around.
"…I forget."
The rabbi says, "Was it you?"
The disciple scowls.
"Don't take his side."
"Whose side?"
"Mine."
The rabbi and priest quietly move to another table.
They've seen this sort of thing before. Just usually in finance committee meetings.
