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"No Sooner Than The Director Is Fired . . . " Topic


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215 hits since 11 May 2017
©1994-2017 Bill Armintrout
Comments or corrections?

Covert Walrus12 May 2017 2:10 p.m. PST

Here's one I got today -


ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001 Website: fbi.gov


Urgent attention needed


We have been informed through our global intelligence monitoring network that the sum of $10,000,000.00 USD has been released from a bank in Africa bearing your name as the beneficiary without dist certificate to clear your name and fund from every terrorist or drug or money laundering activities


The bank knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to make this payment from any part of the world to your account directly, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment (s.t.d.p) method to make the payment. direct transfers are difficult and secret diplomatic transit payment (s.t.d.p) are not usually made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities and we ask why must your payment be made in a secret transfer if your transaction is legitimate.
We do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your personal account, so it is our duty as an international agency to correct these little problems before this fund reflects into your personal account.


we advice you to contact us immediately, as your funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody, until you are able to provide us with the dist certificate within 3 days from the country that authorized the transfer to certify that the funds that you are about to receive are terrorist/drug free or we shall have cause to impound the payment and subsequently prosecute you for cross border terrorist financial activites.
based on our findings, our investigative department wish to warn you against some miscreants, hoodlums and touts who go about scamming innocent people by claiming to be who they are not and thereby tarnishing the image of this wonderful country. By sending out fraudulent emails without our official logo and emblem we shall release your funds immediately we receive this legal document and we will ensure that you receive your payment without any further delay.


Note


We decided to contact you directly by email to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the huge amount involved. Be informed that the funds are now with a top bank in the united state in your name and under the monitoring/custody of the FBI. At the moment, we have asked the bank not to release the fund to anybody that comes to them, unless we instruct them to do so, and only if we receive the dist certificate this is to enable us carry out a comprehensive investigation first before releasing the fund to you.


hence, you are to forward your dist certificate to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you do not have it, then let us know so that we will direct you to the appropriate authority to obtain the certificate then you are to send it to our office. And thereafter, we will instruct the bank holding the funds, to go ahead and credit your account immediately. If you fail to provide the documents to this office, we will prosecute you and take appropriate action against you for not proving the legality of the funds.


Finally if you truly want to receive this funds without F.B.I troubles then Reconfirm your full name, occupation, age, contact address and telephone number to the above mentioned office either by phone or E-mail to facilitate the processing of your payment.


Yours Faithfully


SPECIAL AGENT TIMOTHY GALLAGHER
FOR FBI DIRECTOR

Low blow, guys. Really low blow.

Personal logo 20thmaine Supporting Member of TMP12 May 2017 4:58 p.m. PST

So you can have all that money if you just prime the pump with a little harmless information about your bank account.

What could go wrong?

Personal logo 20thmaine Supporting Member of TMP12 May 2017 4:59 p.m. PST

I like that phrase – "what could go wrong?".

I just made it up – but I freely gift it to the world to use.

Please form a line to thank me at your own soonest convenience…

Winston Smith Supporting Member of TMP12 May 2017 5:28 p.m. PST

Special Agent Gallagher could learn a thing or two about capitalizing.

Doug MSC Sponsoring Member of TMP12 May 2017 5:34 p.m. PST

Oh no!!! I just gave them my banking information! I didn't want to get in trouble with the FBI.

goragrad12 May 2017 10:57 p.m. PST

Carrot and stick – kicking it up a notch.

Ed Mohrmann Supporting Member of TMP13 May 2017 6:34 a.m. PST

Comfey may have lost his job because of the e-mail he sent
to me about a large lottery winning which the FBI was
holding for me – just furnish these personal details
(for verification of ID, of course) and it'd all be mine.

I tried to copy/paste the header here but it was blocked
from 'copy' somehow.

Covert Walrus14 May 2017 1:06 p.m. PST

I suspect the hyperlink to the actual FBI website might keep it from copying.

That is a nice touch too, give them that. :)

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