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"Tales from the Kamr-Taj IT support desk" Topic


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247 hits since 12 Nov 2016
©1994-2017 Bill Armintrout
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Personal logo Wyatt the Odd Supporting Member of TMP Fezian12 Nov 2016 7:42 a.m. PST

Original credit to Patrick McKinnion for coming up with this:

When Stephan Strange is accepted to Kamar-Taj, Mordo leads him into his rooms, and hands him a slip of paper that Mordo says is the WiFi password.

Which led me to think. Could you imagine working IT at Kamar-Taj???

"*Sigh* Look, I know you were just trying to help by converting the Book of the Vishanti to ePub format. Don't. The last time some tried that, the resulting file tried to upload itself to ICANN's main DNS servers. I think it's still over on that external hard drive. Yes, the one that's occasionally jumping and emitting a green aura."

"So let me get this straight. You attached a USB cable to the Eye of Agamotto, and plugged it into your laptop. And now your laptop has upgraded itself to the point it's acting alive. No, I'm NOT going to fix it for you. I'm going to chuck it in the Mirror Dimension and bill you for the replacement"

"I'll take care of that in a minute. The Ancient One is having problems with Netflix again."

"Good news Master Mordo! Your laptop is ready to go. I updated the optical drive to Blu Ray so you can watch that new copy of "Serenity" that just came in. Oh, no problem, you're welcome."

"Master Wong, I know it's not traditional. But please consider how much easier your job would be if we just installed some decent library and cataloging software."

"Look, I know we're occasionally getting lag. It's not surprising. We're got a T1 connection routing from the New York Sanctum and bridging via a sling ring portal to here. But there's going to be occasional interference. I've talked with the IT people at Hogwarts to see if there's any ideas they might have."

"Yeah, I think I can fix this, but next time be careful. I know you wanted to get your WoW dailies in, but opening a dimensional portal while you're in the middle of a raid isn't a good idea. Things see what's on the screen and get ideas. Do you want a real life Deathwing to appear in the courtyard? Because that's how we get Deathwings."

"You want to Skype someone in the Dark Dimension?? WHY???"

GarrisonMiniatures Supporting Member of TMP Inactive Member12 Nov 2016 9:05 a.m. PST

'OK, Perhaps putting a copy of the Necronomicon on the Gutenburg Press website may not have been the best idea I've ever had…'

The G Dog Fezian Inactive Member13 Nov 2016 6:28 a.m. PST

'OK, Perhaps putting a copy of the Necronomicon on the Gutenburg Press website may not have been the best idea I've ever had…'

Data wants to be free…and to subjugate all living creation beneath it's cloven hoof. But it'll settle with being free for starters.

This actually sounds like the perfect job for Murphy. He's already seen it all in IT, plus he can make coffee.

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP13 Nov 2016 7:36 a.m. PST

Yes, Master Strange, I agree that the summoning word for the Horde of Shuma Gorath is a secure password since you are the only living being in the multiverse that knows it. My point is that the rest of our universe is less secure every time you type it.

I actually use this (not with Dr. Strange) as a plot seed for an occult horror RPG adventure. The adventurers destroyed hard drives, computers, the University data center, and an Internet service provider site before they figured out the NPC they were trying to help was using a summoning charm as a password.

So, Miss Clea, do you recall which of your relative's sigils you put in your screensaver folder? Once we get the list, we can start working through the random sequences and try to reverse the spell …

Master Wong? It seems you were bitten by Dracula in the 70's* … we think that is why you can't take a selfie with your new phone.

* I have this comic and read it recently.

Baron Mordo, we have checked your voicemail setup twelve times and searched the entire terabyte hard drive for the storage system. Are you sure those messages aren't coming from somewhere else?

Madam Harkness, have you tried turning off and turning back on again?

Agatha Harkness, ancient witch, has dies a couple of times (at least) in the comics.

Yes, Count Carezzi, we have pretty good spam filters. Regardless, if it is from Nightmare, I recommend deleting it without opening.

Yes, we can reset it … again. May I suggest not using bits of the Spell of Hoggoth* in your password this time?

* Used to wipe memories.

No, Great Agamoto, we have not placed bandwidth restrictions on your guest account. Apparently, the Realm of the Vishanti has a lot better connection than we have …

Last Hussar18 Nov 2016 6:11 p.m. PST

Satan and God looking at the world, and Satan saying "It's FUBARed, perhaps you should switch it off and switch it back on again."

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