"Google" Topic

- Oh hi, did you see how I improved your last search ?
- Yes I did Google, in fact I wanted to talk with you about that.
- I saw you made a typo and I fixed it for you.
- Google, did you notice I put my search terms between quotation marks ?
- Yeah, smart move ! Makes it clearer what you are looking for !
- Then why did you change my search ?
- I hate to tell you, but you made a tiny mistake, lucky for you, my friend, I was there to catch it ! Fixed it and you got the result you wanted without any holdup ! How's that for a service.
- I was looking for those exact search terms, there was no typo.
- Naah, you're mistaken, everybody else makes the same search.
- Do I look like everybody ?
- But I'm Google, I give you the best, most accurate search results possible.
- About those results, why do you keep reposting the same results from 2003 every three months, although I made a search going back one single week, why am I getting results from 2003 on a more than regular basis ?
- Come on man, I'm here to help, you probably missed those results back then.
- Every three months you post the very same images from a stock footage site and relentlessly peddle them again and again and again. And when I search some very specific terms and try their variants in foreign languages to maximise getting new results, you box me in and change my search, against my will and cognition as if I'm one of the many billions of idiots who are only interested in cats, Cardashians and other crap. I'm relying on you to provide me with something new, not the crap you serve the knuckledraggers and the boneheads with barely opposable thumbs.
- I can find you lots of pictures of cats !
- You're not even listening to me !
- Because you're such a fan of the Cardashians I took the liberty of finding you lots of photos !
- Whose eyeballs do I have to blowtorch to get a decent service ???

Me: Careful! You'll end up in the google dawghouse.

Google: Err, um, You meant to type, "Google DOGhouse". Would you like to see pictures of puppies now?

Just for laugh I did Google "Google doghouse" this thedoghousediaries.com/3399 is what Google gave as first hit.

x42

Too true!

Have you tried startpage.com? same google search, but it doesn't let google know who you are, so you get better results.

Google's in my doghouse on a lfe sentence……