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"G-Men Use Gmail?" Topic

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363 hits since 10 May 2016
©1994-2018 Bill Armintrout
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Covert Walrus Supporting Member of TMP10 May 2016 3:15 a.m. PST

Today in my Junk folder :
reply to :

Urgent attention needed

We have been informed through our global intelligence monitoring network that the sum of $10.50 USD, 000.00, has been released from a bank in Africa bearing your name as the beneficiary without dist certificate to clear your name and fund from every terrorist or drug or money laundering activities

The bank knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to make this payment from any part of the world to your account directly, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment (s.t.d.p) method to make the payment. direct transfers are difficult and secret diplomatic transit payment (s.t.d.p) are not usually made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities and we ask why must your payment be made in a secret transfer if your transaction is legitimate.
We do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your personal account, so it is our duty as an international agency to correct these little problems before this fund reflects into your personal account.

we advice you to contact us immediately, as your funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody, until you are able to provide us with the dist certificate within 3 days from the country that authorized the transfer to certify that the funds that you are about to receive are terrorist/drug free or we shall have cause to impound the payment and subsequently prosecute you for cross border terrorist financial activites.
based on our findings, our investigative department wish to warn you against some miscreants, hoodlums and touts who go about scamming innocent people by claiming to be who they are not and thereby tarnishing the image of this wonderful country. By sending out fraudulent emails without our official logo and emblem we shall release your funds immediately we receive this legal document and we will ensure that you receive your payment without any further delay.


We decided to contact you directly by email to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the huge amount involved. Be informed that the funds are now with a top bank in the united state in your name and under the monitoring/custody of the FBI. At the moment, we have asked the bank not to release the fund to anybody that comes to them, unless we instruct them to do so, and only if we receive the dist certificate this is to enable us carry out a comprehensive investigation first before releasing the fund to you.

hence, you are to forward your dist certificate to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you do not have it, then let us know so that we will direct you to the appropriate authority to obtain the certificate then you are to send it to our office. And thereafter, we will instruct the bank holding the funds, to go ahead and credit your account immediately. If you fail to provide the documents to this office, we will prosecute you and take appropriate action against you for not proving the legality of the funds.

Finally if you truly want to receive this funds without F.B.I troubles then Reconfirm your full name, occupation, age, contact address and telephone number to the above mentioned office either by phone or E-mail to facilitate the processing of your payment.

Yours Faithfully


Wait, you are paying me ten million bucks to clear my name from illegal activities watch-lists? Surely, that would have the *opposite* effect?

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP10 May 2016 4:33 a.m. PST

The point of the way many of these set ups is to draw in only the very gullible. They are less trouble once they realize they have been scammed. It also tends to distribute victims geographically so you don't get a ground swell of local interest.

RavenscraftCybernetics Inactive Member10 May 2016 5:46 a.m. PST

this is why spelling is important, kids.

Winston Smith Supporting Member of TMP10 May 2016 7:06 a.m. PST

Looks ok to me. No apostrophe abuse.

Ed Mohrmann Supporting Member of TMP10 May 2016 9:44 a.m. PST

Speaking of scams based upon government agencies…

I just received my FOURTH 'final notice' 'phone call
that the IRS has filed a lawsuit against me…

Shagnasty Supporting Member of TMP10 May 2016 11:17 a.m. PST

Me too Ed. I didn't realize I was in trouble!

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