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"OK, OK, so I'm a snob....." Topic

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570 hits since 27 Oct 2015
©1994-2017 Bill Armintrout
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Streitax Inactive Member28 Oct 2015 9:31 p.m. PST

But REALLY! Some people apparently have never been told to close their mouths when they chew. After years of working in my own office or at home, I am now with the gubmint in a prarie dog village. A very nice lady across the aisle simply must have her crunchy snacks after lunch. Now, the process of Darwinian selection has gifted us with a mouth that serves as an excellent acoustic chamber. My hair goes up when I hear her scrabbling in her snack bowl for the next handful of gravel and within milliseconds I am rewarded with CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH…..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! My sound deadening ear phones are not enough. I have to hook up to my iPhone and play Pandora oldies at full volume to weather the storm. The only thing that would be worse if she was one of those God Cursed, Mother Loving, Soulless, Inconsiderate, Self-loving, COFEEE SLURPERS. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP, SMACK! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Over and over again. Truly, there is a circle in Hell for these people and with my luck, I'll be their janitor.

Thank you for listening. I'm feeling betta.

Streitax Inactive Member28 Oct 2015 9:35 p.m. PST

And God punished me with The Bug.

skippy0001 Supporting Member of TMP29 Oct 2015 1:27 a.m. PST

It's not you.

Who asked this joker29 Oct 2015 4:23 a.m. PST

You get used to it…eventually.

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP29 Oct 2015 4:30 a.m. PST


I use a sippy cup. I'm sure you could slurp with it if you wanted to …

Personal logo Ditto Tango 2 3 Supporting Member of TMP Inactive Member29 Oct 2015 6:28 a.m. PST

And I will punish you for entering long unspaced sound effects that force scrolling across a phone screen! Take that! And that! And a hiiii-YA! laugh

Seriously, there are an alarming number of otherwise very nice and intelligent people who do not appear to have been taught such basic manners the mouth and eating thing, I mean. grin. Nonetheless, I must say that sometimes crunchy nacho or other such chip type things do make a lot of noise. I crunch on life savers when my blood sugar is low and even with a firmly closed gobbler, my wife still tells me so echo all over the place.

I've got a couple of great friends who do this. I never feel I have the nerve to say anything, though sometimes it makes me cringe when we're out with people we don't know as well. But I love these guys and timately don't care.

A similar work problem is when someone has unpleasant body odour. How the heck are you supposed to handle that?

Being human is challenging sometimes. laugh

Terrement Supporting Member of TMP29 Oct 2015 6:28 a.m. PST

I'd add to the mix those who fill their mouths to eat and after a few chews but before swallowing find it perfectly normal to carry on a conversation.

Personal logo T Callahan Supporting Member of TMP29 Oct 2015 7:09 a.m. PST

Body odor.

Years ago when I worked in a small office building one of the seven employees (Willie) had exceptionally bad body odor. The ladies in the office would open a window and turn on a floor fan blowing air towards his desk. Willie didn't blink and eye. Usually 15 minutes after he started work one of the women would come in back and tell our boss, "either he goes home or I go home." Our boss would then call Willie in the back office and tell him to go home and shower. Willie would leave for the day.

It got so bad the our boss took Willie aside and told him If he did not start bathing regularly, using deodorant and changing into clean cloths he(my boss) would disqualify Willie from the job he was on which would mean he would be furloughed. Since Willie was a few months from retirement it meant he could not retire. (As you can imagine the content of this was conversation was a big no no)

Willie began bathing and washing his cloths. The day he retired he came in back and talked my boss and I. He said he could now throw away that damned stick of deodorant and any way bathing regularly was a communist plot and unhealthy. After he left my boss and I just shook our heads.

The people you meet when you work for a railroad!


Personal logo Tacitus Supporting Member of TMP29 Oct 2015 9:13 a.m. PST

Because of surgery, I could not breathe through my nose from age 11 to age 19 (when I had another operation to fix the problem). Even though it meant I had to hold my breath when I ate, my mom made sure I chewed with my mouth closed. As for BO, try a classroom full of sophomores after PE…

Personal logo Ooh Rah Supporting Member of TMP29 Oct 2015 9:16 a.m. PST

You're doing it wrong. Earplugs first, THEN stereo headphones on, and THEN R&R oldies turned up to full volume. Works like a charm. Drowns out even the most obnoxious loudmouths.

Zargon Inactive Member29 Oct 2015 9:41 a.m. PST

My mother once asked her Israeli friend why all Israelis ate and chewed mouth open and her reply has stuck in my mind ever more, she said "We Israelis are a free people with our own country, nobody is ever going to tell us what we can and cannot do ever again, so we eat how we like" best reason ever if you ask me, but still I do think manners make the man :)

Personal logo Great War Ace Supporting Member of TMP30 Oct 2015 4:30 a.m. PST

Truly, there is a circle in Hell for these people and with my luck, I'll be their janitor.

There probably is, and you probably already ARE. evil grin

Personal logo ochoin Supporting Member of TMP30 Oct 2015 5:05 p.m. PST

Some Asian cultures chew opened mouth. When I was in Japan I noticed that people chewed with mouths open and slurped soup/noodles. I was told by the family I was staying with that the more noise you made as you ate, the more you showed the cook you liked the food. I did a little open mouthed chewing whilst there.

That, of course, is no excuse for Westerners. It is good manners to follow the customs of the people around you.

Streitax Inactive Member31 Oct 2015 5:37 a.m. PST

Yes, I have learned that lesson as wel, but as you say, it is their custom. All I can do there is leave the area.

Jemima Fawr Inactive Member01 Nov 2015 9:40 a.m. PST


I think it must be a railway/railroad thiong… Either that or Willie came to work here when he retired… :(

Mako11 Inactive Member02 Nov 2015 11:53 p.m. PST

That's not snobbery. Just common courtesy, and proper manners.

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