"Limerick construction Thread" Topic

Stolen from I'm sorry I Haven't a clue

Most people will know of limericks. For those who don't they are 5 line humourous poems rhyming aabba.

There was a man from Dajeeling
who boarded a bus bound for Ealing
It said on the door
don't spit on the floor
so he stood up and spat on the ceiling

The aim here is to construct a limerick one post at a time.
You are only allowed to contribute one line per limerick.
Whoever finishes one provides the first line of the next – maybe put a line of dashes and a couple of blank lines to show its a new poem.

You may wish to avoid the Young Man from Buckingham.

I'll Start

While posting on TMP,

About a game in the Holy See

the OP was caught in turmoil

By a comment that made him recoil

but that is the nature of TMP

***

There once was a Hussar from France

Whose troop sergeant made him dance.

He fell into step

While his girlfriend wept

When he snagged on an uhlan's lance?

Three Scotsmen once went a hiking…

To steal SPAM from some Viking

One got lost in the mist

"Tis his own fault!" Ulric hissed

"that one should have gone biking !"

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While wooing a girl by the lake

I made a horrible mistake!

The picnic lunch I had packed

Had been hi-jacked

And I had a bomb instead of a cake.

There was a young man from Milwaukee.

who confused his house and his car key

When he headed off to work

he said with a smirk

isnt this a bunch of malarkey?

I once dated a girly named Sally

To the chagrin of Father O'Malley

You'd think that I'd be smarter

than trying to barter

For a tryst in a darkened back-alley.

I once possessed rulebooks galore

most are in a pile by the door.

And then my dear mother

enraged by the clutter,

Said you can live at home in the basement no more!

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My hussars are all painted with style

You can see their plumes from a mile.

Their pelisses were purple

and lined with white fur-ple

But basing them was a trial.

****

There was a young gamer from London

Who ordered some Chinese WonTon.

He ended up spilling the soup

from the spoon his noodles did droop.

and spoiled all of his fun-fun !

---------------

An unemployed plumber named Jack

carried all of his tools in a sack.

Stopped by the Host to find work.

but disgusted by the murk

my career has veered off the track.
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Carl loved to play with his dice.

The twelve-sider he thought was so nice

till he rolled a d10

and hit his best friend

So now D4s are his only vice.

##########

Drinking whisky with old General Grant

I got up the nerve to call him a ant

= semi-vulgar term for urine

He unholstered his gun,

Without saying a pun