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"I'd like to thank ..." Topic


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391 hits since 21 Jun 2015
©1994-2017 Bill Armintrout
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Personal logo Patrick R Supporting Member of TMP21 Jun 2015 11:47 p.m. PST

Here are a few institutions I'd like to thank for being so incredibly great and clever while going absolutely nowhere.

Thank you browser engineers for completely redoing the interface with every single update so that your muscle memory bites you in the ankle every time you try looking for your bookmarks or try to hit the "go back button".

Thank you website designers for locking out the "go back button" to keep me captive on your website. Thank you for hating the present day and wishing we were all back on the internet of 1995 where changing the channel was still a capital offense …

Thank you shortcut wranglers for putting the exact opposite keys right next to each other so that 50% of the time you end up screwing yourself.

Thank you Google Image search by date Tsars for recycling the same batch of 200 pictures every fortnight under the assumption that I would love to see them again, despite having seen them a trillion times before and the actual amount of new pictures included in the search results is about 0.005% of content. We're adding millions of terabytes of data to the internet each day, but 200 pictures is all we need according to saint Google.

Thank you Google search fundamentalists for assuming I am a total idiot and cannot speell a singel werd propriatiroly and assume that whatever I type should be replaced by something that has no relationship with what I'm actually searching because I'm not a drone who is only interested in the most shallow pop culture of the day. Thank you for completely ignoring quotes and arbitrarily deciding for me what I'm actually searching.

Thank you rabid misanthropes who put in a mysterious key combination that makes whatever I am working on close without saving the moment I try to insert my last sentence.

Thank you autocorrect on mobile devices in a multilingual environment. This makes typing on a balky interface so much more interesting.

Thank you for giving us a future where all the time we save with "smart" technology will be filled up with furiously trying to fix what the smart system FUBARed beyond all recognition.

skippy0001 Supporting Member of TMP22 Jun 2015 2:48 a.m. PST

The computor is your friend, just like Mr. Hand Grenade.

OldGrenadier at work22 Jun 2015 4:30 a.m. PST

I agree with Patrick.

Winston Smith Supporting Member of TMP22 Jun 2015 5:10 a.m. PST

It's people like you what cause unrest.

Terrement Supporting Member of TMP22 Jun 2015 6:18 a.m. PST

Works as designed. Those aren't flaws. They are "features."

I'd offer as a possible addition, those long forms with 93 different entry boxes that when you can't read the "Capcha" code or whatever, it rejects your input anmd removes all data from your form.

RavenscraftCybernetics Inactive Member22 Jun 2015 7:38 a.m. PST

Ive never understood why the scroll bar is on the right side so that when you've read an entire page and are at the bottom right corner, the back button is way the Bleeped text in the upper left corner. Its a ridiculous set up for touch pads on laptops.

Personal logo Andrew Walters Supporting Member of TMP22 Jun 2015 9:00 a.m. PST

You seem to be having more trouble with a browser than most people. I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm trying to be helpful, maybe you should take a deep breath, then…

…try a different browser?

…try not updating your browser every time they offer?

…avoid web pages run by jerks?

…learn to use Google's advanced features, so that you're only searching for images that have appeared in the last 7 or 30 days?

…learn to use the "-" operator in your searches to eliminate unwanted results?

…figure out how to turn off autocorrect?

…then take another deep breath. I wouldn't go back to the pre-web days for anything. Sure, stupid people can now leverage their stupidness, but creative and informative and inspiring people have leveraged their helpful output, too. And most of it is free.

napthyme Sponsoring Member of TMP22 Jun 2015 12:39 p.m. PST

and you forgot to add Chrome suddenly making all bookmarks into little flipping SQUARES so we can all know how stupid windows 8 is without loading it onto our computers.

Ed Mohrmann Supporting Member of TMP22 Jun 2015 8:04 p.m. PST

And thank you Chrome for loading that 'secret'
audio pickup/capture feature which turns our mic's
on and sends the audio who knows where and to who knows
who…

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