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"Alpha complex update, fall 2014" Topic

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539 hits since 19 Nov 2014
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Jakse375 Inactive Member19 Nov 2014 5:04 p.m. PST

Since we are in the middle of Snowmageddon right now I've got some free time to update on the happenings here at the complex.

First off I'm no longer a Red, I'm now a Orange. I've been doing orange work all along but now I'm finally getting paid for it.

Memorable firings:
1: the newly hired Director of Residence Life has been let go due to concerns about his "closesness" to some female students. (the previous director was also promoted out of his position for the same reasons) Total time on Job 6 months

2: University Police officer was caught "beating his stick" in the patrol car. Mind you these aren't rent a cops but full fledged State Troopers. Total time on job 5 months

3: And the winner is the Head Electrician. Busted for exposing himself to passing vehicles in BFE New York on the side of the highway. Total time on job 1.5 months currently suspended with pay until his court matters are settled.

Our 300,000 "rebranding" effort has surpassed 400,000 and we're still not done.

The brand new 60 million dollar science center opened up this fall. Half the classrooms still aren't finished. building has been running on generators since whenever they hook it up to the grid it crashes the grid. The ceiling leaks in several places. The hand rails in the stairwells are way off. one side slopes up, the other down compared to stair height. Plus some of the brand new flooring is already cracking.

The new town houses are a "big hit" with a whopping 25% filled.

We've added 3 more new vice president positions with secretaries.

Our enrollment is down almost 20% from last year. 30% in the last 3 years.

I spent the first 8 weeks this semester working short staffed in my building. all because HR was slow on the paperwork needed to shift people around.

As of Monday they made my position an "essential" one, so that's why I'm at work right now cleaning up after all the students who attended class (none) today because of the snow storm.

trust in the computer….

zippyfusenet Inactive Member19 Nov 2014 5:29 p.m. PST

Trust no one!

tkdguy Inactive Member19 Nov 2014 5:33 p.m. PST

Not sure what you mean by red or orange in this case. Please explain.

It sounds like you got promoted though, so congrats.

Personal logo Dan Cyr Supporting Member of TMP19 Nov 2014 6:14 p.m. PST

Color of his security card most likely. Spent years where contractors wore red ones and the full-time employees wore blue. Now that was great for morale.


Toaster19 Nov 2014 6:28 p.m. PST

It's a reference to the old Paranoia RPG.


StarfuryXL519 Nov 2014 7:06 p.m. PST

Which takes place in Alpha Complex.

Jakse375 Inactive Member19 Nov 2014 7:09 p.m. PST

Alpha complex and the color scheme are indeed references to Paranoia. the colors follow the ROY G BIV scale. Infared is the lowest (students) and Ultra violets the highest (prez).

tkdguy Inactive Member19 Nov 2014 10:00 p.m. PST

Gotcha. I never played Paranoia.

goragrad19 Nov 2014 10:30 p.m. PST

Sounds like a shortage of funding…

M1Fanboy20 Nov 2014 12:25 p.m. PST

Trust Noone, Keep your laser handy…till the State of New…I mean Alpha Complex takes them away…

MahanMan Inactive Member21 Nov 2014 8:59 a.m. PST

Aren't you glad you have a laser too? Won't this be fun?

I had to check the OP's profile to make sure he wasn't working for *my* alma mater, since these stories strike waaaay too close to home for me.

Personal logo Murphy Sponsoring Member of TMP27 Nov 2014 7:34 a.m. PST

A couple of questions I would like to ask:

1: How many of the "new vice presidents" are friends of other executive members there?…

2: The contractor company that did this work was owned by which family member of which executive member?

3: Is this college "union run"?….

4: Are the bets in for when this place crashes and burns….???

Last Hussar27 Nov 2014 7:32 p.m. PST

You don't get incompetence like that outside private sector how much money can we screw.

Charlie 1228 Nov 2014 5:50 p.m. PST

About those color coded id badges….

Where I work (a very large state university health system), we have contractors and temps who have one color stripe (orange) and the regular, fully vested employees with another color stripe (blue). At one point, some management goober noticed that my department had 60% of its positions (and all the mission critical positions) filled by 'orange stripes'. And some of those 'orange stripes' had been there for 2+ years. That just didn't look right! (Or so we heard). Now, in a perfect, optimistic world, management would pull in us 'orange stripes' and make us regular employees (ie, 'blue stripes'). Oh, such a naive thought…..

Instead, they did away with the orange/blue stripes and had all us 'orange stripes' turn in our ID badges for brand new 'blue stripe' badges. And so it goes…..

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