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"I hate the holidays" Topic


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tkdguy31 Oct 2014 11:02 p.m. PST

I hate them all, especially Christmas!

I hate how I'm always broke at this time of year, and I have to shell out cash I don't have just to buy presents. I'm unemployed right now, but it turns out in my past job, employees' work hours were cut so management could get a bigger bonus.

I especially hate how the family expects me to "join in on the fun" even though they've known for years it's not my idea of fun. Little wonder I'm always in a bad mood this time of year. Yet they're always shocked.

Can't I just pull the sheets over my head until it's all over? Wait, I've tried; it didn't work.

Rrobbyrobot31 Oct 2014 11:31 p.m. PST

Sorry you feel like that. But I can understand.

tkdguy31 Oct 2014 11:31 p.m. PST

Thanks. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

skippy000101 Nov 2014 2:23 a.m. PST

Been there-just do what you can and don't let it get to you-yes, it's hard but the people that care for you are trying also. End of lecture. Enjoy the company.

RavenscraftCybernetics01 Nov 2014 5:36 a.m. PST

Mrs. C and I gave up the stress in the 90;s and have never been happier.'
She worked retail and took a lot of Bleeped text for ruinimg peoples Christmas because the customer trieed last minute mailorders.
Holidays in America suck.
They've all been comercialized.
Adults should know better.
ymmv,
RC

Personal logo Doms Decals Sponsoring Member of TMP01 Nov 2014 6:06 a.m. PST

To be honest for several years I only played along with the Christmas thing because it was a big deal to my mum. With her dying last year I pretty much ran out of reasons to go through the whole drill, so just sent presents to the niece and nephew, and otherwise skipped last Christmas. Can't see that changing for me now.

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP01 Nov 2014 8:12 a.m. PST

Commercialization that gets tacked on to holidays is voluntary.

When I lived in Japan, there was a holiday every three weeks or so. A pickup with a lousy loudspeaker would corral people to go to the park where everyone would do some silly events, have a serious moment, the women/children would offer a presentation and the men would drink and have (related to the hoilday) stupid human trick contests. A good time was had by all.

I don't really go in for the buying stuff. One year, when the kids were little, we made scarves for everyone. SWMBO did the heavy lifting (start, finish, embossing initials), but all four of us knitted on each scarf.

zoneofcontrol01 Nov 2014 8:28 a.m. PST

Yeah, not big on the "holidays." In the stores, the Christmas stuff was right across the aisle from the Halloween stuff. I have a much bigger appreciation for the "Holy Days" and the message they bring.

GarrisonMiniatures01 Nov 2014 10:27 a.m. PST

I have to admit, looking for appropriate things for people is part of the fun.

Every year we put together hampers for people. During the year we visit craft fairs, London, Birmingham, holidays, Christmas Fairs,etc, and put together collections of smallish gifts. The hampers are fami affairs; people in a family dive in and get out what they want.

So Christmas almost becomes other peoples memory/update of our year.

Gear Pilot01 Nov 2014 4:19 p.m. PST

I get the family to send me a list of what they want for Christmas. It takes the hastle out of shopping and if I happen to see something I think they might like that's not on the list, that's just gravy.

I like Christmas because I get to see my kids (who are all out of the house now) and my mom (who lives out of state). I take the wife, kids and mom out to dinner at a resort hotel so there's no cooking or clean up. I get to enjoy spending time with my family without all the stress and hastle.

Personal logo Parzival Supporting Member of TMP01 Nov 2014 8:02 p.m. PST

I hate how I'm always broke at this time of year, and I have to shell out cash I don't have just to buy presents.

Who says you have to do any of that? Television commercials? Pffft. You can reject that bit of societal pressure and instead wish people a happy celebration, and leave it at that. Your friends and family will understand that personal finances preclude gift-giving. Indeed, if you are truly unable to be generous, then graciously allow those who care for you to be generous towards you at this time, and accept their thoughtfulness with gratitude and good cheer. Nothing wrong with that, and sometimes the mere recognition that others do care for you is a gift to them in and of itself. No man is poor in the company of friends.

tkdguy01 Nov 2014 11:55 p.m. PST

That's pretty much the plan for everyone in my family, since we're all broke.

Yuno Hu02 Nov 2014 6:55 a.m. PST

I feel your pain. It was bad enough when Christmas Rush started on Black Friday. Now we have to start dealing with it as soon as Halloween is over. Bah Humbug.

picture

Personal logo Jlundberg Supporting Member of TMP02 Nov 2014 11:37 a.m. PST

I love to spend time with my family. We are spread all over the place and the Holidays are a singular chance to spend a couple of days with my favorite people on Earth. I well understand that it does not work that way for others

Great War Ace02 Nov 2014 3:05 p.m. PST

@SWMBO: LOL, I knew what that stands for instantly. And I loathe acronyms.

"The Holidays". I spend as little as I can and dislike all obligatory participation. Won't stand for it. If my wonderfulness isn't good enough company then phooey on everyone….

jefritrout03 Nov 2014 9:52 a.m. PST

I've learned to enjoy the time with my family. There were years where I figured I had a minimal amount to spend, and there have been years where I've had plenty to spend. Once we had to just buy ingredients and just bake items and that's all we could afford.

Once we were going to visit my wife's family (another country) and my wife didn't yet have a green card and so wasn't working and all of her siblings had recently lost their jobs and her parents were not physically able to work. My parents and sisters were happy to send items as gifts. One spouse of a sibling and I supported the entire family for a couple of months – at the end, we personally were down to peanut butter sandwiches and Raman noodles, but helped the entire family get through their troubles.

The key is be with family. And don't shell out cash you don't have. You are not obligated to give what you don't have. If you can make a batch of chocolate chip cookies and bag up 6 of them per person – that's 12 or so presents that you made. And maybe even make them with a child or niece to have fun while doing it. Key is enjoy time with family. Christmas is not about gifts.

tkdguy03 Nov 2014 5:17 p.m. PST

Of course, it's not the shopping; it's also the bills that I always seem to have trouble with at this time of year.

Old Slow Trot04 Nov 2014 7:38 a.m. PST

I try to keep it simple. Something for the wife,a quiet dinner,just the two of us,and the occasional visit from one of her sibs.

tkdguy05 Nov 2014 12:04 a.m. PST

Family affairs can be very nice, but they can also be pretty annoying sometimes. There have been a few holidays where some folks have been obnoxious. Then again, having had to lose a couple of loved ones within the last 12 months, I may as well enjoy my family while I can.

But don't get me started on that Jingle Bells Bleeped text Drives me nuts.

Old Slow Trot05 Nov 2014 7:41 a.m. PST

I know the feeling,tkd.

Lentulus05 Nov 2014 12:42 p.m. PST

I like that my kids will be home. I like midnight mass. But my wife buys into the commercial festival more than I am happy with.

Personal logo 20thmaine Supporting Member of TMP06 Nov 2014 9:24 a.m. PST

I like turkey, I like mince pies and I like movie marathons – Christmas is ideal.

Mako1107 Nov 2014 12:11 a.m. PST

Been there, done that, for far too long, and am still doing that.

Just let everyone know up front, in as nice a way as you can, that you are broke, and can't commit to presents, or contribute money to celebrations/gifts, anytime soon, and possibly going into the future.

At first, I hated that too, but after a while you'll find it is a huge relief and weight off of you, since you don't have to get stressed out about the holidays, and spend money you don't have/run up huge bills on credit cards.

We've agreed to not give gifts, and to just try to enjoy time, and hopefully a little food around the holidays with others.

If you have the ingredients, and the energy/ability, try to make a special dessert, or other small dish to share with others. Even refrigerated, pre-made cookies you bake in the oven are usually appreciated by people, and are simple and easy to make. Some cakes and pies, as well as chocolate fudge are too. I like the microwave version of the latter – dead simple, and tastes as good as store bought candy which can be very expensive, if you don't make your own.

I like it much better this way.

Hopefully, you will as well.

tkdguy11 Nov 2014 7:07 p.m. PST

One positive thing is that there are places looking for seasonal work. It's not ideal, but it's a way to get some cash until I find a job again.

Personal logo Murphy Sponsoring Member of TMP29 Nov 2014 9:17 a.m. PST

For some odd weird strange reason I have actually been looking forward to it this year….

tkdguy19 Dec 2014 12:21 a.m. PST

One week before Xmas and not only am I still unemployed, I'm out of cash altogether. Another reason to hate this time of year.

tkdguy13 Dec 2015 2:03 p.m. PST

Update one year later: I have a job now, but money is still an issue. And someone in the family is gravely ill.

So I still hate the holidays as much as usual.

Bah, humbug!

Old Wolfman14 Dec 2015 7:49 a.m. PST

A bit skimpy this time around,due to some medical bills of my own,but no harm in something simple. Hope that family member gets well soon,tkdguy. And I know the situation of "too much month at the end of the money",also.

Personal logo Murphy Sponsoring Member of TMP14 Dec 2015 7:53 p.m. PST

Count your blessings:

1: You are not blind.
2: You have a roof over your head…you are not homeless and sleeping in a cardboard box under an overpass somewhere…
3: You have shoes on your feet.
4: You have a family. Many people don't.
5: You obviously have money for internet connection.
6: You are not starving, and wondering "when you will eat next"….
7: You are not in a hospital ER with a sucking gunshot wound to your chest and wondering "Am I gonna die?"…
8: You have your mental faculties to write posts on TMP. So many people don't have that ability anymore.

Sorry that you "hate the holidays", but I think the reasons for hating it isn't the holidays, but how you are viewing it.

Oddly enough, I am looking forward to it again….

tkdguy16 Dec 2015 10:51 p.m. PST

Thanks, Murphy and Old Wolfman.

Unfortunately, my uncle just died earlier today. As for the rest, you're right. All that may change in the future, but not just yet. Still, another year wasted.

Old Wolfman17 Dec 2015 7:36 a.m. PST

Condolences to ya,dude.

tkdguy19 Dec 2015 12:06 a.m. PST

Thanks again.

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