Here's the list, with comments:
1. The traffic is soul-crushing
True. So what. Unless you live on the big island, you aren't going very far anyway. It just can't suck for very long.
2. Radio station monotony
True. but you aren't in the car very long, so you can't get too bored.
3. You're not allowed to complain
This just a lie. An outright lie. Bitch away, we all do.
4. You have to be swimsuit ready all.year.round
Baloney. Remember that Hawaii is the state that provided TWO sumo Grand Champions. Fat, skinny, we don't care what you look like at the beach. Double that if you're a tourist.
YOU might worry, we no care
5. It's a revolving door
Yes and no. Its an expensive move – you can't just load up a U-Haul and drive out of state. And most of us LIKE it here. Yes, people will leave, but unless you are in a transient segment (like the military, or students), most of your friends aren't going to be constantly leaving
6. The cost of living is ridiculous
True, though I prefer to think of it as "nearly everywhere else is cheaper"
7. Shark attacks become a real and everyday fear
Well, it is true you CAN get attacked, but I think we can probably name every one of the victims, in spite of being surrounded by the entire Pacific. Sharks don't lurk offshore like Jaws, they hardly ever bite people, you are much more likely to get hit by a car than bitten by a shark. So no, it isn't anything like everyday fear.
8. You can't escape people
Seriously? You aren't trying, knucklehead. I guarantee I've managed to lose contact with some people here. We have only one big city, and 8 counties. Its a small town state, so yes, you may run into people again, though it depends on where you go, just like in any other community.
9. One word: Vog
"Allergy season is all year round and unpredictable. And instead of pollen causing your itchy eyes, it's vog: the volcanic smog that wafts over from the Big Island."
As opposed to SMOG, that you get all year round on the Mainland? I'll live with occasional vog, instead of near permanent smog like I saw in California.
10. Sun guilt
"This might sound made up, but it's a real thing in Hawaii. Some days, you just want to stay on the couch all day and binge on Netflix. Hawaii's sun and active lifestyle, however, will make you feel guilty for being lazy -- which, as we all know, almost defies the restorative power of lazy days."
Seriously? Rubbish! What part of 'lying around at the beach lifestyle' don't you understand? If you feel guilty for taking it easy in any way, you are definitely from OUT OF STATE.
11. You'll never see a big concert again
For which I blame Ticketmaster. We do GET big shows, I just can't afford to go see them.
12. If you're not an avid surfer, yogi or other outdoor enthusiast, you will, at one point or another, feel like a second class citizen.
Knucklehead. Rubbish! What part of 'lying around at the beach lifestyle' don't you understand? If you feel guilty for taking it easy in any way, you are definitely from OUT OF STATE.
13. Say hasta la vista to quality Mexican food
That's just wrong. I can walk to two EXCELLENT Mexican restaurants from my house, easily as good as fine Mexican establishments I've dined in in Texas, Arizona, or California
and there are more good Mexican joints, those are just the closest to my house.
14. You'll work as a tour guide all the time -- but you'll never get paid
So what? I get another excuse to go to my favorite beach, or visit the Arizona Memorial, or drive up the Waimea Canyon road. We love it here, it isn't a drag to show off cool stuff. And it isn't like we get folks driving out on the weekend – you need to spend serious money to visit Hawaii, so no, it certainly isn't "tour guide all the time."
15. It's quite possible you'll live on a road that none of your friends on the mainland can pronounce
Ki'i'oni'oni Loop, anyone? Ma'ipalaoa Road? Ki'ona'ole Road?
Let me help you. KEE-EE-ONI-ONI LOOP. MA-EE-PA-LO-A Road. KEE-ONA-OLAY Road. All the letters are pronounced. Its not that hard.
16. You'll develop an apathy towards current events
Like snow. Or Tornadoes. We do get CNN out here, we can keep up with national news, at least what affects us. But yeah, we are two THOUSAND miles away from Hollywood, and double that from New Yawk or DC, so pardon me if I find those places less interesting or newsworthy.
17. You'll never get dressed up again
Lie. You CAN get dressed up here, but remember – it is a small town state, one big city only, which means fewer dressup occasions. And thank GHAWD that Aloha shirts are formal wear here. I may never have to wear a tie again EVER!
18. Island fever
"It's real, people. You will, at one point or another, really miss things like road trips, weekend getaways that aren't to another island, and unpredictable weather. And, if you don't get them, you might start to feel a bit stir crazy
Partial lie. There are folks here (like in any small-town environment) that have never left the COUNTY (one of the guys at the gym, some of my classmates). That means they have never left Oahu to go to another island, let alone out of state. Personally, I like to travel out of state once in a while.