I've mostly been posting these to my Facebook page lately, but here's one that I think ya'll might like. I work as the bouncer at a small local bar here in Fairbanks, Alaska.
Two attractive young ladies were standing at the bar, discussing their plans for the night.
"Let's go back to my place and keep drinking after the bar closes! We'll wake up in a puddle of whiskey!"
"Ugh, not that, how about a puddle of
a puddle of
SOMETHING."
The peanut gallery began shouting suggestions:
"Sweat!"
"Vomit!"
"Dicks! A puddle of dicks!"
The girls looked increasingly horrified as the suggestions continued, so the bartender intervened.
She leaned forward, and in her best Kindergarten Teacher-voice, said,
"BAD DECISIONS. A puddle of bad decisions, ladies."
The girls liked that one.
"WOOOOO!! Yeah!"
"BAD DECISIONS! Let's make it happen!"
They cheered and walked towards the dance floor.
There is no doubt in my mind that they will achieve their stated goal.