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"[Bar Story] Look! It's Einstein's glowing face!!" Topic

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714 hits since 20 Sep 2013
©1994-2017 Bill Armintrout
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Alxbates20 Sep 2013 7:48 a.m. PST

It's been too long since I've posted one of these here. For those who don't know, I work as a bouncer at a couple of bars here in Fairbanks, Alaska.

I was doing my thing, watching the crowd, when I noticed that something odd was going on with a man and woman who were sitting at one of our tables.

The woman was standing up, leaning over the man. He appeared to be furiously digging inside his pants, and the woman was staring intently at his lap. They were both laughing and happy, making no effort to conceal whatever the heck they were doing.

My natural inclination would be to not get involved, but this definitely seemed like the sort of thing that the bouncer is supposed to check up on, so I walked over to the table.

"Hey folks, what's going on here?"

The woman turned to me, a huge grin on her face. "He's showing me his underwear!"

The guy chimed in, lifting his hips up off the bench and thrusting his pelvis towards me. "It has glow in the dark Einstein heads on it!!!"

He pulled his shorts up and out so as to give me a better look, giving himself what looked like a rather painful reverse wedgie in the process. Sure enough, the bright yellow boxers were decorated with what appeared to be lots of little pictures of Einstein. There was a blacklight above the table and the neon chartreuse cloth was GLOWING in its rays.

I didn't know how to respond. "Uhh… OK."

The man and woman started giggling uncontrollably, as if this was the funniest thing in the world. The woman sat down, and the man began furiously stuffing his boxers back into his jeans.

I slowly backed away, my investigation complete.

Personal logo John the OFM Supporting Member of TMP20 Sep 2013 7:57 a.m. PST

I'll have what they're having.
No, make it a double.

Personal logo John the OFM Supporting Member of TMP20 Sep 2013 7:58 a.m. PST

BTW, Alex…
Where's that Bar Story book you're supposed to be working on? grin

Alxbates20 Sep 2013 8:02 a.m. PST

I kinda had a crisis of confidence where I deleted like half of everything that I'd written. I'm still collecting stories (and mostly posting them to Facebook – feel free to look me up ), but I've been working on other projects.

Forge of Ice, for example, has a bunch of new miniatures coming out this winter.


Streitax Inactive Member20 Sep 2013 8:47 a.m. PST

Well, at least it keeps you off the streets. And don't delete what you've written. If it's no good, the editor will tell you. Err on the side of inclusiveness. Often getting published just means refusing to give up. Write, submit, take the criticism, improve, resubmit, repeat until you are dead.

kyoteblue Inactive Member20 Sep 2013 10:09 a.m. PST

I agree with Streitax !!! Keep writing !!!!

Mrs Pumblechook Inactive Member20 Sep 2013 11:16 p.m. PST


if you want to publish your book, you should think about Kickstarter.

I'm sure there would be enough interest from TMP members to help get it going :-).

SECURITY MINISTER CRITTER Inactive Member20 Sep 2013 11:53 p.m. PST

Forge of Ice, for example, has a bunch of new miniatures coming out this winter.

That just seems so appropriate a time to release something with that name.

Alxbates21 Sep 2013 12:03 a.m. PST

Thanks Mrs P. I've thought about using KS – but I think my first KS campaign will be for miniatures.

If I self-publish, I'll probably go through's CreateSpace. Penguin books also has an interesting self-publishing thing on their website.


CBPIII22 Sep 2013 7:15 p.m. PST

Alex, I will back any and every Kickstarter campaign you do. I have every confidence the quality will be there.

Alxbates27 Sep 2013 8:20 a.m. PST

Thank you, Clarke!

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