It's been too long since I've posted one of these here. For those who don't know, I work as a bouncer at a couple of bars here in Fairbanks, Alaska.
I was doing my thing, watching the crowd, when I noticed that something odd was going on with a man and woman who were sitting at one of our tables.
The woman was standing up, leaning over the man. He appeared to be furiously digging inside his pants, and the woman was staring intently at his lap. They were both laughing and happy, making no effort to conceal whatever the heck they were doing.
My natural inclination would be to not get involved, but this definitely seemed like the sort of thing that the bouncer is supposed to check up on, so I walked over to the table.
"Hey folks, what's going on here?"
The woman turned to me, a huge grin on her face. "He's showing me his underwear!"
The guy chimed in, lifting his hips up off the bench and thrusting his pelvis towards me. "It has glow in the dark Einstein heads on it!!!"
He pulled his shorts up and out so as to give me a better look, giving himself what looked like a rather painful reverse wedgie in the process. Sure enough, the bright yellow boxers were decorated with what appeared to be lots of little pictures of Einstein. There was a blacklight above the table and the neon chartreuse cloth was GLOWING in its rays.
I didn't know how to respond. "Uhh
The man and woman started giggling uncontrollably, as if this was the funniest thing in the world. The woman sat down, and the man began furiously stuffing his boxers back into his jeans.
I slowly backed away, my investigation complete.