The United States Army has pioneered many things. But did you know the Army pioneered the public opinion survey as well? It all goes back to Valley Forge.
"Yo, George my man! Wassup dawg?" said Ben Franklin that winter.
"It sucks, homie, re-up rates are in the toilet!" George Washington replied.
"Well get this. I got a lot of old ladies celebrating their 50th wedding anniversaries, y'know, on Poor Richards Almanac. I be asking them 'How did you keep your man' dig. They be like sending in their answers and you use the top three."
So Washington and Franklin printed a form asking "How did you Keep your man?" and they sent it out to all the golden anniversary women. Then they divided the responses by type and took the three most common ones.
And so, from that day to this, everyone in the army gets plain food and lots of it, enough money to be cock of the walk down at the PX once a month but not enough to go over the hill, and they get 
ed with every time they turn around.
