"What's Worse? Teen Death, Paper Lace, or... ?" Topic

Right, then.

In this corner, from the 1950s, you have the "Teen Death" songs:
1 Think of Laura – Christopher Cross
2 Patches – Dickie Lee
3 Ebony Eyes – The Everly Brothers (NOT the Bob Welch song)
4 Last Kiss – J. Frank Wilson and the Cavali
5 Endless Sleep – Jody Reynolds
6 Running Bear – Johnny Preston
7 I Want My Baby Back – Mark Chesnutt
8 Teen Angel – Mark Dinning
9 Leader Of The Pack – Melissa Etheridge
10 Moody River – Pat Boone
11 Give Us Your Blessings – The Shangri-Las
12 I Can Never Go Home Anymore – The Shangri-Las
13 Leader Of The Pack – The Shangri-las
14 Johnny Angel – Shelley Fabares
15 Green, Green Grass of Home – Tom Jones
16 Tell Laura I Love Her – Valance, Ricky
17 Laurie, Strange Things Happen – William Ward

And in this corner, wearing the Union Jack battleshorts and reaching prominence in the 1970s, you have "Paper Lace" and their hits:
1 Billy Don't Be A Hero
2 The Night Chicago Died

In a tag-team match that is rapidly exceeding the bounds of the boxing metaphor, we also have Suzanne Vega's "Luka" and "Vickie Lawrence's "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia."

Which would never be allowed to take up space on your hard drive?

Wyatt

You missed one.

"Everybody Run (The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun)" – Downtown Julie Brown

Farstar – not Downtown Julie Brown of MTV fame, but another (and incidentally caucasian) Julie Brown. That whole disk is a hoot – "Earth Girls are Easy", etc. (By no coincidence, Julie co-stared with Gena Davis in the movie "Earth Girls are Easy", which also had Jeff Goldblum and Jim Carrey in it, strangely enough.)

Can I vote for destruction all around?

Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Lugal – Julie Brown was doing deliberate silliness while the other songs listed above were done in earnest.

As a minor tangent, the theme from "Blazing Saddles" – sung by Frankie Lane – was sung completely straight because Mel Brooks didn't tell him that the movie was a farce.

"Can I vote for destruction all around?"

Well, yeah, but I think you might have to wrassle with John the OFM over the Teen Death stuff – he seems to think it is an acceptable music genrι.

Wyatt

Hmm. Thought they were the same person.

(looks at dice on table)

Oh hey, look at that. I failed my Pop Culture Knowledge roll.

Which would never be allowed to take up space on your hard drive?

Any of them. I've got the Adverts 'Gary Gilmore's Eyes' on it though :)

Heh. I've got some teen death songs on my HD that I love – mostly performed by Brian Setzer – Drive Like Lightning, The Legend of Johnny Cool.

Darn. What was the old Gene Vincent song about the girl who shot her boyfriend at the bar because he'd been cheating on her . . . ? The ballad of someone and someone else . . . I just can't remember it.

The Ballad of Frankie and Johnny. Remembered it.

What was the old Gene Vincent song about the girl who shot her boyfriend at the bar because he'd been cheating on her . . . ? The ballad of someone and someone else . . . I just can't remember it.

Frankie and Johnny. It was written at the beginning of the 20th century, Gene Vincent was only one of a long list of people who covered it. Others include Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan and Fats Waller. I prefer Sam Cooke's version.

I loved "Billy Don't Be a Hero" when I was younger. I even had the 7" Single.

*Sigh*

The follies of youth.

Pete

Frankie and Johnny. It was written at the beginning of the 20th century, Gene Vincent was only one of a long list of people who covered it. Others include Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan and Fats Waller. I prefer Sam Cooke's version.

I rather like the Snakefarm version, though it is shorter.

So many horrible songs.
And I have to pick just one? Then, "The night the lights went out on Georgia."

"Green Green Grass of Home" is a GREAT song, by the way.

"Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro is the single most cloyingly toxic bad song ever inflicted upon Western Civilization and is at least partially responsible for swine flu, AIDS and entropy in general.

Though you have to admit that 'Summer (The First Time)' made up for it in comedy value

I'd insist on removing "Leader of the Pack" by the Shangri-Las from the list, too. While it's sung "straight", you have to love a song with the line, "Look out! Look out! Look out! Look out!" over the sound of skidding tires and a crash. It's at 1:48 here: YouTube link

And "Summer (The First Time)" definitely made me look at my friends' Moms in a whole new light.

:)

As, I'm sure, they looked at yours.

None of them are on there now amongst the 10,000 songs I already have, so I don't think they'll ever make the cut.

Damn how could you all miss Jimmy Webb – Richard Harris – MacArthur Park?

now, taking it one step further that those screeching tyres of the leader of the pack

YouTube link

I think the one about the imbecile who can't operate his automobile properly thus killing his girlfriend who then spends the rest of the song whining about how she was "tragically taken away from him" is the all-time worst.
-Kle.

Good one, Mrs. P.

what about "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks?

Definitely Tom Jones should not be there

However Clare by Gilbert O'Sullivan should, that song makes me want to kill people

*Anything* by Gilbert O'Sullivan is cause for justifiable homicide. That "man" should have been brought up on charges for crimes against humanity. As Mr. D. Barry put it, talking about his alleged "song" "Alone Again, Naturally", "Don't let *us* stop you, Gilbert!"

You know the line I'm talking about.

And, as much as some (and *only* some, let it be duly noted) of the teen death songs have amusement value, it has been pointed out that what their main purpose is, is showing the value of natural selection. The SigOts are generally cacked for a pretty dumb reason; a stalled engine/inability to brake, angry speeding motorcyclist, need for a high-school ring, etc.

Hence, the human gene pool is slowly improved.

what about "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks?

The original is better :)

link

"Please come to Denver" rings the bell on the Atrocious-meter.
As does "Never going to Dance Again".

I have been very good, and have not mentioned Bonnie Tyler, not once!

Damn….

For me, its got to be "The Day Bobby Joe McCallister Jumped off the Tallahachi Bridge", or something along those lines. Thankfully, old age has erased the memory of who sung it.