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"How to fail at spamming" Topic

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524 hits since 22 Dec 2008
©1994-2018 Bill Armintrout
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Personal logo Gungnir Supporting Member of TMP22 Dec 2008 9:55 a.m. PST

Spamming is an art rarely understood by the spammers.

So, a few hints, with a nice example to educatify you all.

First of all, at least take the trouble to get an e-mail account with your own name, fake as it may be.

So, the person who sent me a mail from an account owned by a Noe Rosenberg and starts with: "My name is Lesley Williams" automatically loses on points.

Then, if you know your Ingulish is not good enough for a serious sounding spam letter, at least ask the translator/scriptwriter/whatever what you're supposed to do with the material supplied. So, if he or she offers several options, you would know that it is wiser to pick just one.
By the way, a better translation would also be worth thre effort.

Or you end up with a very stupid sounding letter like this one:

"If you want to make a successful career our offer does for you ! Want to be successful? Work with our company! Wealthy work for clever persons!

My name is Lesley Williams(This is Lesley Williams. I am Lesley Williams). I am a human resource manager of Shamrock Capital Advisors(I work as a human resource manager in Shamrock Capital Advisors. I work in a human resource department in Shamrock Capital Advisors). I would like to suggest you to join to our team as the Asset Manager of Shamrock Capital Advisors(I propose you to work with our company as the Asset Manager. I offer you to apply for work as the Asset Manager of Shamrock Capital Advisors).
The main responsibility of the Asset Manager is providing support the process of the movement funds between our clients(The principal Candidate Requirement is‶ The general need is‶). We collaborate exclusively with private clients(Our company co-operates with individual customers only. Our client base consists on personal customers). Their requirement is receiving money with a high speed for investing in their business in time(They demand is transferring funds with a high speed to put them in profitable projects without delay. The main request of our clients is getting transactions at necessary time).

That is why we have developed a new kind of financial and banking service to meet the demands of our customers and get involved new clients(By this reason we have promoted a new sort of banking service to answer our clientвЂôs requirements. It has motivated us to elaborate a new form of financial service to comply with requirements of our clients ). By this reason we opened a new position “Asset Manager” who will be putting into practice this service(It led us to the necessity of opening a new vacancy “Asset Manager”. This innovation has made us to extend the position “Asset Manager”). This is part-time job. It takes 3-4 hours per day except holidays (You should spend 3-4 hours per day to do this work except holidays. Performing this work takes 3-4 hours a day except holidays).

At the first time you will be performing a basic task(At the beginning your work will be simple. Initally your duty will be basic). You will be making transfers for our clients to suit their needs(You will be transferring funds to our customers. To content our clientвЂôs needs you will be making transfers to them). Our managers will assist you during the trial period and explain everything you will need to know(Our agents will help you and tell what you need perform. Employees of our company will unfold you all steps and answer to all your questions).
We offer an extremely competitive graduated salary(We pay a good salary. The salary of “Asset Manager” is an extremely competitive). You will earn more then $2,000.00 at the first month(The salary presents more then $2,000.00 at the first time. During a trial period you will be reaching more then $2,000.00). In the future your salary will be increased(Then it will be larger. When a trial period is over your salary will rise).
To start work with our company you should send e-mail with a contact number and right time to reach you to One of our managers will contact you and answer to your questions(The next step is send an e-mail with a contact number to ‶‶. If you are interested you should provide us with a contact number via e-mail:

Best regards,

Lesley Williams
HR Manager

Oh wait, you see that? Lesley did listen to me, he now got a gmail account! Perhaps he should have used that rightaway?

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