"Nightmare opponents" Topic

Which historical general would be the worst wargame opponent?

Not the best commander in history (who would invariably beat you into a cocked hat every game) but the worst person to actually sit across the table from on a gaming night.

Who would be unbearable? Endless arguing over line of sight? Refusing to accept the scenario brief because "my cavalry should be on the left"? Taking three hours to deploy because staff work must be exact? Demanding hidden movement for everything? Frothing at the mouth if things go pear-shaped & throwing his dice across the room?

Napoleon might insist every defeat was really the umpire's fault. Wellington would probably spend the whole evening complaining about the terrain. Montgomery might rewrite the scenario before Turn 1. Patton would move before you'd finished placing your figures.

Who would be the absolute nightmare opponent and why?

Alexander the Great would be insufferably arrogant

Fredrick the Great would turn up in a ratty old coat, spend the whole game snorting snuff and making caustic remarks

Genghis Khan would show up in a coat covered in grease, beat your butt on the gaming table and then wander over to a corner of the room to have a pee

George McClellan would spend so much time arranging and re-arranging his troops the game would never start

Grant would be quiet and unassuming. For pete's sake, show something!

Hitler would throw a temper tantrum at every setback, pounding the table and shouting "Nein! Nein! Nein! Then pull extra units that aren't in the scenario out of his transport bag and deploy them in your flank.

His Imperial Majesty Napoleon I. In addition to blaming the umpire, I'd expect loaded dice, and cheating at card draws. In his later years, he'd point-blank refuse to accept troop numbers and morale/training states for his own forces, and insist that enemy units which had fallen back had actually routed.

De Gaulle would claim that his one tank won the battle, along with a handful of civilian figures.

Charles Lee would whine and complain that HE should command that wing. Then he would panic and abandon the troops. After the game, in the Trash Talk Phase*, he would demand that everyone acknowledge his brilliant plan.

*We call it something more vulgar.

Blucher would arrive late for the game, and mutter "I see you started without me."