"The Crimes of Inanimate Objects" Topic

Reading J E Lendon's Song of Wrath, and found mention of the court maintained by classical Athens "reserved to prosecute the crimes committed by inanimate objects." As the one-rime owner of a Renault LeCar, I am familiar with felonious inanimate objects, but surely this has potential for wargamers? We could convene sessions at major conventions and bring charges against--well, dice, certainly. But also
--poorly performing units?
--terrain which leaves its place in the heat of battle?
--measuring devices always a fraction of an inch short?
--incomplete or unclear rules?

Other suggestions?

15 minute chairs.

I think you've about covered the waterfront! Some measuring devices are an inch longer, like the foot long rulers at last Cold Wars that are 12.5" long.

The Pyretanian Court and other deodand systems, do not convict inanimate objects (or animals, also included). They establish responsibility for a crime for the purposes of tracing it back to the proximate cause human being.

F'r'ex: A cart breaks free, rolls down the street, and runs over someone, killing them. Causality, not guilt, is established for the cart, which leads to the question was the operator or owner of the cart responsible for the death. Not to say the cart is responsible.

Such courts, as well as inanimate objects and animals, also prosecute "persons unknown". That makes the point of the court more clear. It's establishing causality as a legal fact, for further investigation.

In the cart example, maybe the cart is well known to belong to Doucheus Maximus, because he is always making sure everyone knows he has the best carts around. DM, however, wasn't using the cart. He hired someone to go get 10 tons of granite for a front yard statue of himself. (Discussion of ancient Greek HOAs, later.) Is the operator in his employ responsible? Is DM as the employer? Or is DM responsible because he directed the employee to get something too big for the cart, so it is unreasonable to expect him to control the cart?

All those questions proceed from the deodand decision about the object.

It is the forerunner of modern forensic science in law with differences in words (assigning guilt to the object) and the fact that the trial of the object can occur separate from the identification of the involved party (especially when unknown).

So, basically, such a system would lead to us convicting … well … ourselves for our dices' crimes.

As soon as I saw the title of this thread, my first thought was "Dice".

Some of us are not particularly animate…

Interesting, eto, but clearly not altogether what Lendon is describing, since in the instance he describes, the axe is found guilty and exiled. (Page 23 of my hardcover.)

That is selective reading of history.

Commonly, animals and objects would be "exiled" or "destroyed", but that was ritual conclusion of the establishment of cause. The system would still continue to prosecute (if known) or look for (if unknown) or debate over (if unclear) the human cause.

We still confiscate and destroy guns, cars, and other things used in murder. It doesn't mean we are "prosecuting" or "convicting" or even "blaming" the object. Communities do it symbolically for "bad" trees or other landmarks. It's still done in sporting events, too.

It is clear that they didn't assign guilt or agency to objects. It's common misreading of history. If a future archeologist stumbled over a mention in my family of SWMBO making sacrifices to the parking gods to get a good spot at the supermarket, if they lacked context, they could easily misinterpret that. Or they could deliberately sensationalize something.

RP is a a very literate person & is no doubt aware that this idea references the real C5th BCE Athenian practice where objects could be tried by the Prytaneion court.

At any rate,an excellent proposal, RP.

Possible defendants might include:

– Dice that only roll "1" at critical moments
– Woods that mysteriously expand during the battle to block line of sight
– Cavalry units that refuse perfectly reasonable charge orders
– Measuring tapes that shrink when one attempts a charge move

Though I suspect the real difficulty will be assembling an impartial jury of peers. Dice judging other dice could lead to a miscarriage of justice.

All guns that commit crimes should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and when found guilty, melted down into a peace sign. Hopefully, that should put a stop to gun crime and violence. Especially those darn assault weapons.

Wolfhag

I have a penalty box for dice.

How about soda cans and snack bags people put on the table when they are moving troops, and then just leave them there?
That's definitely a crime.

"Other suggestions?"

"Wardrobe malfunctions" would be a whole other category…
("Wardrobe malfunctions: Deliberate, or not?" )