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"The Most Unrealistic Movies About Ancient Wars" Topic


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Comments or corrections?

Tango0124 Jan 2026 2:09 p.m. PST

"Apart from Greek and Roman battles, wars like the Crusades and non-European civilizations like the Mayans have also found their way into popular cinema. As has become the norm, these films are also filled with factual errors and inaccuracies that might make these films not as historically realistic as they are supposed to be…"

link

Armand

Personal logo John the OFM Supporting Member of TMP24 Jan 2026 2:45 p.m. PST

There was a TV miniseries having little to do with Spartacus beyond the name.
A Roman column of about 12 men was advancing on a village. In a testudo formation.
The peasants leaped over the heads of the testudo and attacked it in the rear. With milking stools.

Dave Crowell24 Jan 2026 4:26 p.m. PST

Every single battle with flaming arrows and exploding catapult shot. Looking at you Ridley Scott…

OSCS7424 Jan 2026 10:20 p.m. PST

This author did not watch any sword and sandal Italian movies. I watch them for laughs.

ZULUPAUL Supporting Member of TMP25 Jan 2026 6:04 a.m. PST

Agree OSC but really don't we watch them for the silliness?
Agree with flaming arrows & catapults with flaming stones/bundles.

Personal logo John the OFM Supporting Member of TMP25 Jan 2026 7:25 a.m. PST

Agreed. Nobody watches Blazing Saddles as a documentary about the West. Did the Sioux really speak Yiddish? Well, according to Blazing Saddles….

I remember watching all the Sons of Hercules movies. Even at 12(?) years old, I never thought I was watching a historical movie.

TV miniseries certainly should be considered. There was one about Attila the Gorgeous.

Personal logo John the OFM Supporting Member of TMP25 Jan 2026 7:44 a.m. PST

If I truly must comment on the list, to me the only really dumb ones were 300 and Braveheart.
But, and however…. 😄
300 never took itself seriously. It was unashamedly based on a graphic novel (a comic book!) and things like a charging rhinoceros were admittedly over the top.

Mel Gibson did indeed take himself seriously in Braveheart. He consciously intended to blacken the reputation of the English. As he did in The Patriot et al. Nothing in that movie should be taken seriously. This is unintentionally stupid and goofy, while 300 was deliberately so.

As for the rest of the list, it's clickbait nitpicking at its finest. There was much to admire in those movies, with a lot of "It's only a movie!" thrown in.
Can anyone seriously expect to see a movie in Alexander as a straight compilation of Fuller? All 4 major battles, all the sieges, all the Little Wars?

It's, as I said above, nothing but a clickbait list with a clickbait title.

Tango0125 Jan 2026 4:53 p.m. PST

Thanks

Armand

0ldYeller26 Jan 2026 5:14 p.m. PST

Actually, I thought Caligula (1979) was pretty accurate. Plus I have a court decision to back up that claim. The decision of Justice Yanosik of the Alberta Court of Queens Bench (as it was at the time) in the obscenity trial of R. v. Towne Cinema Theatres (1975) Ltd. Citation [1981] CanLII 1214 (ABKB). Fun reading.

Tango0127 Jan 2026 5:08 p.m. PST

Glup!…


Armand

Personal logo John the OFM Supporting Member of TMP29 Jan 2026 8:38 a.m. PST

Look what you made me do OldYeller. I googled Caligula obscenity trial. 🙄

link

I particularly enjoyed this quote:
" William P. Homans, lawyer for Penthouse International, which produced the film, yesterday agreed that testimony from the academics--"particularly Bowersock, who was very, very helpful in giving an aura of historical accuracy to the film"--helped win the case."
To paraphrase, "Everyone knows that it's garbage, but we won because some parts were historically accurate."
I'll bet that 99% of the paying audience weren't there for a history lesson.

No, I'm not going to try to track down what channel it's streaming on. 🙄

Personal logo Dal Gavan Supporting Member of TMP30 Jan 2026 3:06 a.m. PST

Anything starring Victor Mature.

Tango0130 Jan 2026 5:06 p.m. PST

(smile)


Armand

arthur181501 Feb 2026 10:23 a.m. PST

I'm intrigued by John the OFM's mention of 'Little Wars'as I was unaware that the Battle of Hook's Farm described so vividly by HG Wells was either historical or an 'Ancient' period engagement.

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