"The weather was fine for the day of the exercise. The two leaders, along with the bishop, met to finalise details an hour before H-Hour. "I need your assurance, gentlemen, that you have made absolutely certain that no live ammunition is available to either side? No shotgun cartridges secreted in poachers pockets; no air rifles or pistols, catapults, bows and arrows or any other missile weapon? And no fireworks or pyrotechnics? Because," he continued "I think this exercise may get a little rough even without any of that sort of weaponry. The Felpersham section you recruited, Sir Rufus, the "Do-or-Dies as they call themselves, are little more than a bunch of gangsters with no love for the police. And some of the police, in their turn, have quite a simplistic approach to enforcing the laws."
Sir Rufus and the Chief-Superintendent hastened to assure the bishop that all was in hand and in order. "We both checked our own commands thoroughly then checked each other's. Confiscated a few bits and pieces; all clear now," The Chief assured the bishop with Sir Rufus adding his agreement.
"That's reassuring, gentlemen," said the bishop "And you will, in turn, be reassured to know that I've recruited two umpires to help me with this task." He indicated his two companions. Presenting a jolly, rotund gentleman, he said "This is Father Fallacious O'Deere "and this", he continued, pointing to the other man, a taller, more intense personage, "is Presbyter Enoch Tantamount…"
The View From the Hill
link
Armand
gets to paint out-of-production figures he never thought he'd see again.
