My own research leads me to believe that committed Patriots were maybe 10% of the population, with equally committed Loyalists at maybe 5%.The remaining 85% wanted to be neutral, but were not allowed to be. The main mechanism forcing commitment was the militia. When called up, AS AN INDIVIDUAL, one either went or refused, and either way was joining a side.
There were other factors, of course. On the frontiers, Indians or British privateers didn't care what your political stance was. There were brief times of mass mobilization, such as the "Spirit of 76" or the response to the scalping of Jane McCrea.
But by 1780 the war weariness was large, and getting larger. By 1781, in Virginia, non-compliance with the draft on the militia for Continentals, and for field service, reached dangerous levels. Jefferson had to move reliable militia into disaffected areas more than once, to put down draft riots.
Of course law and order basically collapsed in the Carolinas, and it was a close-run thing in Virginia. That was NOT Loyalism, but just aggressive "go away and don't bother me any more."
What saved the Revolution at that point was that the patriots had a working network (e.g. the county lieutenants and the militia court martials) that could coordinate, while resistence was scattered and local.
AND the local authorities could, and did, modify the demands on their people -- with the reluctant approval of the governor -- when they thought it necessary. There are plenty of cases in the Jefferson papers of local authorities requesting and receiving a modification of the governor's orders.