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"Somebody Call a Cop!" Topic


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18 Jul 2025 10:52 p.m. PST
by Editor in Chief Bill

  • Removed from TMP Poll Suggestions boardCrossposted to Wargaming in General board

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robert piepenbrink Supporting Member of TMP03 Aug 2024 3:49 p.m. PST

Recently the Wargames Police came up in discussion, leading me to consider when they should be called in. A few suggestions:
1. Cheating. Obviously. But failure to let the opponent see and count the dice, or removal of the ruler prior to actual movement should at least result in a warning.
2. Public Indecency. Troops should not appear unpainted or with primer only in any venue open to the public--and in other homes only with the host's permission.
3. Child Abuse. No mocking of newbies until it's clear they understand the rules in question.
4. False Advertising. 1812 with zombies or Romans v. Zulu may be fun games, but they are not historical games, and should not be so described. Nor should the convention listing say "rules will be taught" unless someone's prepared to actually do so. (Same with "simple rules" but that's a little more open to debate.)
Beyond that, I'm open. My personal feeling is that jokes, like Presidents, should not be permitted to serve more than ten years, and that puns should be regarded as single-use munitions, but I'd listen to contrary views.

What have I missed?

The dumb guy03 Aug 2024 3:55 p.m. PST

I would arrest anyone who wants to act like they're the Wargames Police by setting arbitrary rules that were never voted on.

You forget to mention using the wrong shade of yellow for the facings of the 38th Foot. That's a hanging offense.
Or using a PzIII in Afrika paint job in Russia.

I remember reading a long time ago about a group of CLS players who would require a newbie to take a quiz to see if he was worthy.

Personal logo Dal Gavan Supporting Member of TMP03 Aug 2024 6:35 p.m. PST

5. Deliberate falsification of rules for personal advantage. (Though, to be fair, some rules writers need to either learn the language in which they are writing, or else hire a writer who can clearly explain the rules and their intent. I'm thinking of a particular series of rules, supposedly written by a research group.)

Personal logo ochoin Supporting Member of TMP03 Aug 2024 6:41 p.m. PST

6. I need doughnuts?

PzGeneral03 Aug 2024 7:17 p.m. PST

7. Non-existent personal hygiene used as a bio-weapon against opponents…

Wackmole903 Aug 2024 7:22 p.m. PST

Just never play a game with the person again.

bobspruster Supporting Member of TMP04 Aug 2024 3:41 a.m. PST

8. Reacting poorly to a string of bad luck. OK to roll your eyes and say "Dang!", but don't sputter and fume for fifteen minutes. You're not five years old anymore.

robert piepenbrink Supporting Member of TMP04 Aug 2024 4:28 a.m. PST

9. Dice abuse. No throwing them against a wall if you think they don't like you. (Sell them to an opponent. They may not like him either.)

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP04 Aug 2024 2:32 p.m. PST

picture

Shagnasty Supporting Member of TMP05 Aug 2024 8:44 a.m. PST

All of the above. A personal confession: I did throw dice against a wall one time.

The dumb guy06 Aug 2024 9:29 p.m. PST

I have cursed at dice, and picked up differently colored ones instead.
But no physical abuse was done. Just vicious chastisement.

Personal logo Old Contemptible Supporting Member of TMP24 Jul 2025 1:57 a.m. PST

10. Bringing up politics. No discussion of current politics. Don't assume everyone has the same opinion.
11. Errant dice are banished to a penalty box.
12. At least pretend to cooperate with the other players on your side.
13. Just roll the dice and see if you need the chart. Don't just stand there and roll the dice in your hand for ten minutes

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