Help support TMP

"Things You Should Never Say at the Wargaming Table?" Topic

47 Posts

All members in good standing are free to post here. Opinions expressed here are solely those of the posters, and have not been cleared with nor are they endorsed by The Miniatures Page.

Please avoid recent politics on the forums.

For more information, see the TMP FAQ.

Back to the TMP Poll Suggestions Message Board

Back to the Wargaming in General Message Board

Areas of Interest


Featured Hobby News Article

Featured Link

Featured Workbench Article

A Good-Looking Army in a Reasonable Amount of Time

Painting a wargaming army is a completely different beast from painting a single miniature for display.

Featured Profile Article

1,309 hits since 6 Dec 2021
©1994-2022 Bill Armintrout
Comments or corrections?

Personal logo Editor in Chief Bill The Editor of TMP Fezian06 Dec 2021 8:08 p.m. PST

Your suggestions? grin

cavcrazy06 Dec 2021 8:12 p.m. PST

"You know I can tell you what you did wrong there."

cavcrazy06 Dec 2021 8:13 p.m. PST

"Does this look infected to you?"

377CSG Supporting Member of TMP06 Dec 2021 8:23 p.m. PST

You need a bigger board!

JSchutt06 Dec 2021 8:27 p.m. PST

I think I broke one of your figures…..

Tgerritsen Supporting Member of TMP06 Dec 2021 8:30 p.m. PST

Oops. Sorry.

d88mm194006 Dec 2021 8:39 p.m. PST

That's the ugliest paintjob that I have ever seen!

Personal logo Bashytubits Supporting Member of TMP06 Dec 2021 8:54 p.m. PST

All right, who stepped on a duck?!

Oberlindes Sol LIC Supporting Member of TMP06 Dec 2021 8:54 p.m. PST

"Good news, everyone! My doctor said I don't have covid, just ebola."

Korvessa06 Dec 2021 9:03 p.m. PST

Since I am by default a soloist, the words that signal impending doom are:
As long as I don't roll a one, I am good.

Personal logo Parzival Supporting Member of TMP06 Dec 2021 10:30 p.m. PST

"They can't hit an elephant at this distance."

McKinstry Fezian06 Dec 2021 10:36 p.m. PST

"Anything but a (insert worst possible but highly improbable die roll here)"

Personal logo David Manley Supporting Member of TMP06 Dec 2021 10:40 p.m. PST

I couldn't find my panzer grenadiers so I brought Space Marines instead. Thats OK, isn't it?

nickinsomerset06 Dec 2021 10:51 p.m. PST

Anything but a one!

Tally ho!

Korvessa06 Dec 2021 11:02 p.m. PST

David M

Palewarrior07 Dec 2021 12:10 a.m. PST

"sorry guys, I have to go."
"shall we call it a draw?"

martin goddard Sponsoring Member of TMP07 Dec 2021 12:58 a.m. PST

"This reminds me of a story about………."


gunnerphil07 Dec 2021 1:00 a.m. PST

"Can I just move these toys to one side so I can put my drink here?"

Bandolier07 Dec 2021 2:08 a.m. PST

"What did I just step on?"

Dn Jackson Supporting Member of TMP07 Dec 2021 2:34 a.m. PST

"That flannel really brings out the blue in your eyes, Fred."

"Where's my beer."

"Hey ya'll, watch this!"

Personal logo Cardinal Ximenez Supporting Member of TMP07 Dec 2021 4:49 a.m. PST

"Is this supposed to come apart like this?"

"Where are the hexes? I like hex games better."

rustymusket Supporting Member of TMP07 Dec 2021 5:04 a.m. PST

Back when I was began gaming…..(followed by anything).

Personal logo Herkybird Supporting Member of TMP07 Dec 2021 5:42 a.m. PST

Perhaps someone should have told me I was bringing the Figures for the game this week!

OSCS7407 Dec 2021 6:48 a.m. PST

It's true, your dice rolling is really bad!!

Doug MSC Supporting Member of TMP07 Dec 2021 6:48 a.m. PST

You can't do that…

You moved an 8th of an inch to far…

Can we continue the game next week?….

jdagee07 Dec 2021 7:17 a.m. PST

"Well the best defense is a good offense, you know who said that? Mel, the cook on "Alice" (with apologies to The Frantics ~Ti Kwan Leep/Boot To The Head)

"Now, don't be like that. There has to be a second place"

"I'm putting myself into the best position to react once I realize I <messed> up"

"15mm? but you told me they were 12mm last week!"

ZULUPAUL Supporting Member of TMP07 Dec 2021 9:29 a.m. PST


skipper John07 Dec 2021 9:39 a.m. PST

I mounted them but, they aren't yet painted.

Patrick Sexton Supporting Member of TMP07 Dec 2021 11:31 a.m. PST

Can I pick the figure up by this?

NWMike07 Dec 2021 11:33 a.m. PST

How did you roll 7 ones on 6 dice??

HMS Exeter07 Dec 2021 1:02 p.m. PST

You wanna measure that again and read it right this time?

Cue Notre Dame version of "The Rakes of Mallow."

Augustus07 Dec 2021 7:17 p.m. PST

"Okay, so you need to check. Then we need to see if they retreat from melee. Then we need to check to see if you pursue. Then we need to check your morale. Then we need to check for your commander radius. Then we need to check your failure coefficient. The. We need to check for troop reaction. Then we need to check if those friendlies are in radius. Shoot. We need to first check if you sight them. Darn. We were supposed to check for disorder first. Okay, but if the unit is disordered we need to check for a firing negative. But they are carrying flintlock, so we need a wind check. Then we need to check if the powder is dry. Then we need a check to see how this affects morale. Then we can finish this charge. Then it will be your turn to fire. If you pass your range check. And your receive charge check. Pre melee check. Order check. And then response check.

Hey…you know something…these are 6th edition. Shoot. We should have been using the 8th edition. 8th is way better. Let me tell you how the checks work in 8th."

Personal logo Narratio Supporting Member of TMP07 Dec 2021 7:29 p.m. PST

Those are militia? I thought they were elite!

Those cute little spikey things, what are they called?

These rules aren't right! That couldn't happen in real life!

Striker08 Dec 2021 1:57 a.m. PST

I love you.

Dn Jackson Supporting Member of TMP08 Dec 2021 4:52 a.m. PST

"My doctor said it was the grossest thing he's ever seen, but that I'm probably not contagious."

"See, it just oozes a bit."

Personal logo 20thmaine Supporting Member of TMP08 Dec 2021 5:56 a.m. PST

"Ha! You've fallen into my trap, nothing can go wrong now!"

Followed by

"Hey, where did those Heavy Cavalry come from? You had reserves??"

Followed by

"Yeah, they do get a +3for charging me in the flank…"

Oddball08 Dec 2021 8:43 a.m. PST

"Blow on these for luck."

Mollinary08 Dec 2021 11:38 a.m. PST

No Mr Bond, I expect you to DIE!

Fat Wally09 Dec 2021 11:31 a.m. PST

Have you been working out?

Stew art Supporting Member of TMP09 Dec 2021 3:02 p.m. PST

Augustus (above) gave me flashbacks. :)

Uesugi Kenshin Supporting Member of TMP09 Dec 2021 8:20 p.m. PST

How far along is your wife?

SpuriousMilius10 Dec 2021 11:43 a.m. PST

Ditto Augustus, plus: "Tho I've never played these rules, Ya'll don't have a chance against me, I'm an expert on (pick one):
Hannibal/Caesar/Napoleon/Wellington/Lee/Grant/Patton/Rommel, etc.

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP10 Dec 2021 11:44 a.m. PST

According to probability, I'm due for some good rolls soon…

Personal logo Editor in Chief Bill The Editor of TMP Fezian17 Dec 2021 11:33 p.m. PST

Who's wearing that great aftershave?

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP26 Dec 2021 5:28 a.m. PST

DOM reminded me, "Hey! I have a good idea … let's attack Russia in the winter!"

GUNBOAT27 Dec 2021 2:49 a.m. PST

You want to WHAT ho sorry you can.

Rotundo27 Dec 2021 6:55 p.m. PST

"but I always play pantless"

Sorry - only verified members can post on the forums.