"Ridicule is Beneath Us" Topic

I was reminded tonight that there are some in our hobby who enjoy ridiculing those who don't play the way they should, don't paint the way they should, or whose hobby dreams are different from the mainstream.

I hope that the members of TMP have larger hearts than this.

Let us welcome everyone into this hobby who wants to game with us, without judging them before or behind their backs. None of us started as expert painters or master gamers. Who are we to laugh at the genuine efforts of other gamers?

If you find yourself participating in belittling any member of our hobby, I hope that you come to your senses, and realize that when you mock others, you only show your own poor character.

If you enjoy laughing at someone who is 'not as bright' as you are, or is from a different culture, or has a background different than yours, you need to rethink your life choices.

If you feel someone else isn't doing the hobby 'right', why not mentor them? And perhaps you can learn from them, too.

It's sad that this post had to be written. But this is a true issue not only in this hobby, but others too.

I have been on the receiving end of this issue my entire hobby life. Even my friends do it, in jest I hope, but it gets tiring. I am not that well read on historical battles. I try, but I don't have the ability to retain details of time or dates. I do a lot of skirmish level gaming, so my knowledge of command structure stops at the platoon level. Any thing higher than that I little retention of. Brigade, battalion, core…. I had a friend, many years ago, berate me in my own home as we were working out an order for new figures for my getting into AWI. I was trying to understand the structure of these larger commanded unit. ‘How can you not know this?' I haven't seen him for about 8 years now.

So, I am not the best strategist, painter or scenario writer, but I enjoy the hobby and the few conventions I have attended over the past years.

And we wonder why there are few new gamers out there.

Unfortunately our politicians are setting a bad example. My wife (who was a second grade teacher) says they should have been taught not to talk like that in first grade. It really bothers her they talk worse than second graders about each other.

I had it happen to me on this site. I just posted a "Thank you fro the kind words" with an implied "A-hole" salutation.

I made a snarky comment once. Later that day I realized what I had done and put an apology on the thread. I look carefully at what I am typing now just to make sure I am not trying to be clever (which I am not).

I left a Facebook site for naval wargaming, the only reason I was on Facebook, because I was attacked for misspelling Yamato. It was a typo, I had written extensively on the IJN in college. I was not really very offended.
But it seemed revealing.

The way some came after me told me a lot about the group as a whole and I decided I did not belong there…or on Facebook.

Most people enjoy sharing their expertise and helping others. Judging others in this hobby often just shows some folks' own insecurities.

In general I find we are very supportive of each other here when we stick to miniatures and gaming. It seems like politics may get some going off the rails and lands people in the Dawghouse…politics is a trap, in my opinion, and we miss some good things in life by fighting over it.

Yes, before TMP had a lot of "unsavory" types always looking to be divisive, derisive, mean-spirited, trolling, etc., at one time. But Bill, et al. cleaned most of those up, so we very rarely have those types appear here fortunately.

Most people enjoy sharing their expertise and helping others. Judging others in this hobby often just shows some folks' own insecurities.

I totally agree … not only does that type of behavior shows insecurities, but immaturity, divisiveness, weaknesses, etc.

I always feel those types use the veil of the net to exercise all of those failings, weaknesses, etc. As IMO they would not say that to anyone face-to-face. Or it may not turn out so well. So they hide behind the net … to spread their "vileness", etc.

🤢🤮

I'll write a response and then wait sometimes days before I post it. It gives me a chance to review it and make changes. It's saved me many, but not all, trips to the DH.

However, I can't be responsible for people being offended by the historical facts I post and the references to them. Unfortunately, the "shooting the messenger" response in an attempt to silence the person posting the info is in poor taste. I try not to do that.

Regarding politics: Politicians want us to fight with each other. That way we are distracted while they perform their nefarious deeds (non-partisan statement). We need to stick together with what we have in common, not what divides us.

Wolfhag

We need to stick together with what we have in common, not what divides us.

More brotherhood. And sisterhood. And peoplehood.

Less derision. Less hatred. More sympathy and empathy and forgiveness. More self-awareness.

More happiness.

More ignoring that which might make us flibberty….

This is marginally less patronizing than the two-page lecture in WSS #114, but if it's all the same to everyone, I would prefer my sermons on Sunday mornings--and to come from paid professionals.

robert piepenbrink: Perhaps you should heed his posting!

Ridicule is Beneath Us

I think your standards are too high, or your understanding of people's nature is too low.

…there are some in our hobby who enjoy ridiculing…

For some, that IS the hobby.

Bullying, if it's Cyber-bullying on the boards, or face to face at the table, gaming or otherwise, it's unacceptable- period. It's the resort of the immature and the small minded.

I have no preference for sermons professional or amateur. I did not take this that way, and I think having standards is critical to meaningful discussion.

Wolfhag you are right about offending people sometimes in talking history. We are gonna disagree and sometimes it will be strong stuff and that's fine. The standard is – no personal belittling of individuals. And I clearly agree with you on politics!

I agree that behavioural norms are important to a forum, which is inherently a social activity. If I feel to constrained by them, I am free to either advocate for change or leave.

I think everyone, even when they are conscious not to, vents a little bile every now and then. Human nature. So, as many mentioned above gracious apologies and gracious acceptance of those apologies goes a long way toward the type of civility I believe we are striving toward.

Hello everyone, my name is Alex.
Welcome, Alex!
I'm a human. But I'm trying to get better.

I worry a little about being rude or condescending. I believe we can have disagreement without being disagreeable. In fact, I think our differences of opinion, world view, and experience are what make us interesting.

I agree with Bill. Not something that always happens. I've been a miniature gamer for over 50 years. I'd like to think I've evolved a bit over that time. This is a hobby that I've truly loved. It's given so much to me and many others. It's unlike a lot of interests in 2021 in that it is intensely social and requires loads of interactions and developed sense of social skill to A) have fun, and B) have success.

Despite that, I am always amazed at the how the hobby often requires us to establish our expertise and forget how to listen to others at the expense of politeness and encouragement to others. We can do better. Me included.

We all push toys around…often in basements. There are no lofty heights for the disdain of others. People that go after you over pointless things are freaking out about their own loss of control/success in life. I doubt such people are loved by anyone. I pity them.

My wife tells everyone my love language is sarcasm. Often I will use it and while I think I'm being humorous she assures me I am not. I guess I'm just kind of a jerk but I'll try to do better.

The greater latitude in conversation that is allowed on this site will naturally serve to highlight differences in opinion amongst gamers, and the polls suggest most are fine with that.
That being said, actual ridicule is uncommon and is especially rare within the hobby itself. I think it's true to say that in my 30 years of gaming I have never personally experienced, or seen, ridicule of anothers games, figures, painting etc.
Perhaps I'm just lucky, but we shouldn't forget that on the whole we're a fine and friendly bunch of folks!

It's the resort of the immature and the small minded.

Bingo !!!!

I would prefer my sermons on Sunday mornings--and to come from paid professionals.

It was Sunday morning in my timezone when I wrote that, and I am a Sunday School teacher (unpaid). We had our first post-pandemic, in-person class yesterday.

Thank you for that, Bill. But I'll still trade ten "you people need to behave better" lectures for one sincere "I'm sorry I said that." Doesn't matter that I often agree with the sentiments.

It's not so much 'you people', as that sort of behavior has never been tolerated on TMP.

It's on other social media that there is so much rancid behavior. Perhaps I am more aware of it because I hear about it, when someone mocks someone for what they posted on TMP. I just wish that if all the good people in the hobby would shun the few bad apples, perhaps the bad apples would learn to be better people.

Or pack their smarm and go away….

Being dyslexic and only having had 3 years of education that was worth
The time spent I have been attacked ridiculed for my poor spelling and lack of grammar I'm glad to say I have not had that problem on TMP.
Posting hear as well as being fun is part of my self education.

I've also heard that forum participation is helpful for those recovering from strokes.