LaserGrenadier  | 01 Apr 2021 4:19 a.m. PST |
Sir Peter Announces Next Tolkien Epic Following an unprecedented string of successes in revising Tolkien's lifework to suit himself, Sir Peter has announced a new movie series. "I purchased the rights to The Encyclopedia of Middle Earth, which I plan to release as a loosely-linked series of seven movies. I will add about fifty per cent new material that tickles Philippa and me." "I borrowed a lot of money from Andy to buy toy soldiers, so I agreed to feature him in a series of extended vignettes imagining what Smeagol could have done if he had not found the ring. This will allow me to incorporate some Gilbert and Sullivan comic opera ideas I was not able to work into "King Kong." Anticipating some dismay from Tolkien fanatics, Sir Peter repeated his favorite statement, "They takes wot I gives ‘em." |
RittervonBek | 01 Apr 2021 4:33 a.m. PST |
I understand Dan Levy is in the running for Aragorn and Roseanne Barr as Eowyn. |
John the OFM  | 01 Apr 2021 5:09 a.m. PST |
There's also a joint venture with George RR Martin to combine Middle Earth with Westeros, again in a musical. |
Virtualscratchbuilder  | 01 Apr 2021 5:35 a.m. PST |
Somewhere I read that a Tongan mime troop was going to do the Nírnaeth Arnoediad in reflective backlit neon set to ELO music. |
USAFpilot | 01 Apr 2021 6:24 a.m. PST |
The orcs are overrunning everything and multiplying. |
John the OFM  | 01 Apr 2021 7:05 a.m. PST |
As long as we get more Elf Songs. One can never have too many Elf Songs. |
Dukewilliam | 01 Apr 2021 7:24 a.m. PST |
I read it was Eugene Levy, not Dan Levy, who had the role of Aragorn. Rosanne Barr is playing a cave troll to save money on make-up. |
Perris0707  | 01 Apr 2021 8:06 a.m. PST |
Rowan Atkinson is playing Elrond, and Jeff Goldblum will be the new Gandalf. Jack Black is the new Bilbo Baggins. |
McKinstry  | 01 Apr 2021 9:07 a.m. PST |
I heard Betty White was the new Eowyn? |
ChrisBrantley | 01 Apr 2021 10:58 a.m. PST |
I was hoping that they might snag Christopher Walken for the role of Saruman in the comedy sitcom Fast Times at Orthanc. I read in Variety they are also developing a long list of treatments for pseudo-reality shows, including: Real Housewives of Gondor Teen Moms of Eriador Home Makeover: Rivendell Edition Barliman Butterbur's Kitchen Nightmares The Rohan Horse Whisperer The Harad Shore and of course, The Great Lothlorien Lembas Bakeoff Show |
Korvessa  | 01 Apr 2021 1:28 p.m. PST |
Scrap the whole idea and make a movie out of out of the National Lampoon version |
CPBelt | 01 Apr 2021 5:35 p.m. PST |
You gotta love April 1st!  |
John the OFM  | 02 Apr 2021 6:57 a.m. PST |
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14Bore | 02 Apr 2021 1:47 p.m. PST |
Lovely, the Silmarillion in a dozen movie parts. |
robert piepenbrink  | 03 Apr 2021 4:09 p.m. PST |
What about CSI: Hobbiton? Or Law and Order: Dol Guldur? Not to mention the animated series set in the last days of Arnor. You guys can't frighten me: I saw the Bakshi version in a theater. I also heard one of the perpetrators of the Jackson Two Towers explaining that Tolkien would have written it more her way if he'd attended a writing seminar. No doubt he would. |