"Joke Names" Topic

We haven't done this in a while here. I keep a little notepad that I can write funny names in when I come up with them. Here's the recent list of civilian jobs and the civilians who fill them:

Personnel Travel and Logistics Manager, Helena Han-Basquette
Director for Statistical Outliers, Ima Nomalous
Lost Offspring Detective, Hunter Child
Expert on Ettiquette, Ari Gato
PowerPoint Training Designer, Beau Ring
Chief of Motivational Improvement, Uri Gur
Insurance Copay Assessor, Armand Daleg
Pamphlet Distributor, Tay Kwon
Head of Mother-Child Exercise Programs, Walker Anderson
Political Speech Writer, Les Ismore
Surgeon General, Mal Praktis
Manager of Erosion Control, Phil Dirt
Hidden Floral Detection Team leader, Spider Flowers
Promoter of Amateur Music, Gar Ageband
Lead Vampire Killer, Indy Hart
Loss Contingency Planner, Joy Nem
Defensive Soccer Coach, Annette Minder
Ridiculous Military Haberdasher, Shay Koh
Graphic Arts Reproduction Assistant, Mae King Prince

OK … who has a good one?

The tomb of the ancient Pharaoh, Hota 'M Ali

"I am Dyslexa of Borg. Prepare to be asslaminated."

Head of Policy Improvement, Doolittle N. Waite

Surely Biggus Diccus takes the prize?

Nervous terrorist – Ajit M'Drawrs
Terrorist after chili and beer lunch – Ibn Farteen
Ancient Chinese ship – LeeKe junk

There is an adult novelty store in Jacksonville Florida with the name "Inserection"
kinda sounds like an instruction booklet

The huge staff at "Car Talk" provides quite a few good names.

link

I reminisce fondly of Car Talk when I write down new names in my lil' book.

This is true, there was a restaurant in town here that was called…(you Nam vets may recognize this one)..Phoc Kim Long…..?

Hal Etosis, minister of the department of emissions. Ivana Goeholme, cruise director.

Wohn Hung Lo …

Claude Skrowtuhm.

The Eiger Sanction has perhaps the best name for a boss: Yurassis Dragon.

PaulB – I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome called Biggus Dickus

PowerPoint Training Designer, Beau Ring
That's going to be a credit on the next PPT that I have to make.

Race car driver – Lane Faste
Old west undertaker – Piney Boxx

I was texting myself with these as I would come up with them, for later use in games. Lost all of them when I switched phones.

Two of the names for my Roman commanders

The Legate Noxious Carbuncle

The Tribune Poisonous Fungus

I don't recall the names from my Imagination – I haven't done anything on it in years, but I have a number of personalities in it.

I also don't recall whether I gave my Italian pilot in an Air Force game a name or not, but I do remember awarding him the Royal Order of Spaghets with Crossed Forks and Meatballs for shooting down two or three British planes and damaging another one or two in a single game.

Mr and Mrs Tickle, and their daughter Tess.

Well, here's one from history: The British Intelligence community in Shanghai during the period running up to the Japanese Occupation in '41 referred to the Nationalist Chinese leader Chiang-Kai-Shek (infamous for corruption) as
"Cash My Check."

TVAG

There was a realtor back home, his signs were up all over the west side of the city, Buck Schott.

Another great dining experience here in Florida that "commandos" like:

Dick's Wings

Try tighty whities!!!

Don't forget Noe Joke, the humorist.

Did you know, there was an early British Neurologist with the name 'Brain'?
Walter Russell Brain, First Baron Brain of Eynsham, 1895-1966 at the Royal Society

He probably was the Head of something and also ahead of others.

I rediscovered him when I recently reread an old book by Gordon Rattray Taylor, "The Biological Time Bomb," which in retrospect is quite an amusing read.

Harry Armpitz, professor of follicular development.

Cardinal Sin, who is a real South Korean church official, always amused me.

Cole Yeller, coal seam critic.

At least one of my British officers always has a batman named Bruce Wayne

I had name tag badges made up for my Ancient armies. The most appropriate one for this thread was Gaius Inflammatus Sphincter. Childish and very politically incorrect, but I thought it was hilarious.

The cryogenicist I. C. Wiener

Proctologist, Dr. Seymour Butts

Peter Guzinja

Peter Guzinja Heit

Y'know with all the contributions to this thread I'm SHOCKED, that we missed this one:

Abby Normal

Abby Normal … Director of Childhood Development Programs?

There's a lot of ones with "norm" in them. My fave is (I believe) my own creation … Norman Church, Curator of the Medieval Religious Architecture Collection.

British Silent Motion Picture Era porn star: Ivor Biggun

Indian world dysentry record holder: Shatma Pans

'How I Became The First Woman To Survive Going Over The Niagra Falls' by Eileen Dover

'Surviving Incontinence' by Mustafa Leek

'British Trucks 1904-1964' by Laurie Driver

'Smash And Grab: A Woman's Life Of Crime' by Eva Brick

And that ole childhood favorite:

'Rusty Bedsprings' by I. P. Knightly

What about Norman Baits, earthworm serial killer and fisherman.

Phil McCafferty, Dentist.

I think it was my brother who I knew a Wayne Bruce, known among the group as ManBat.

I thought Cardinal Jaime Sin was from the Phillipines

Well a law officer my Dad worked with was named Forrest Plants and the Harry Armpitz I referenced earlier was my 8th grade Social Studies teacher, yes he was from Germany.

What about Mark Tyme

Any relation to Marcus Thyme the herbalist?

Cousins, on the fathers side

OK … maybe we can swing this down the military trail. If we're going for real people's ironic or funny names, and we're including titles, I have worked with:

Ensign (later LTjg) Sargent
Colonel Sargent
Major Payne (I didn't work with her, but she was my dentist.)
Chief Tahn
Private Drive (was Corporal drive when I knew him)

Late to the party

A Viet Namise Restaurant in NorCal: Pho King Good

A Russian general in my 30 years war stuff
Ibn Friezen der Hineyov

What about Corporal Corporeal and Private Island, Plain, Bath. Led of course by Captain Obvious.

The officer who created the Hitler Youth exercise regimen and was later honoured for his efforts by having a song named after him was Oberbannführer Hed Shulters Gniesentoze-Gniesentoze.

The chief instructor at the SOE's recently declassified Top Secret "Culinartial Arts" training establishment was a chap of Dutch-Norwegian-English extraction called Joos Knyveson-Fawkes.

I've always been a sucker for silly names in games, but an old group I went to excelled itself in a WW1 aerial campaign. Germans had Heinrich Mannover and Anton Deck in the ranks, with a bright red triplane flown by Willy Zeemee. For British, we tended to use local village names, like Limpley Stoke although it was clear things were getting desperate when HP Deskjet-Printer reported for duty.