"Silly stuff: what if WWII had been a GW game?" Topic

I originally posted this somewhere else last month – decided to also post it here to see how the reactions would be here.

For some reason I got this urge to think what World War II had been like, if it had not been a real war but instead a game designed by GW? Here is what I came up with. Read on your own risk!

Griefbringer
_________________________________________________________

January 1937: rumours start to circulate that GW is planning to release a new game. Members of the GW studio remain silent.

November 1937: according to rumours, the new game is likely to feature fishmen, mutant penguins and frothing axe-wielding loonies, and there will be world-wide campaigns arranged.

October 1938: in the Games Day, some greens are shown of the miniatures sculpted for this new game. These feature soldiers with rifles and light machine-guns, as well as a bald special character smoking a cigar.

May 1939: more rumours start to circulate about the game – there is supposed to be a starter box coming out, which will contain the rulebook and two armies: British Englanders and Nazi Germans.

July 1939: White Dwarf features a whole two-page advert for the upcoming game, consisting of a drawing of a ruined city with a text "In the grim darkness of 20th century, there is only war".

August 1939: White Dwarf declares that the new boxed set is going to hit the stores on the 1st of September. By 20th of August, long queues of fan-boys are starting to form in front of the GW stores to be the first to get their boxed set – this leads to authorities having to distribute gas masks to the inhabitants of the neighbourhood, as after a couple of days of queuing without a bath the fanboys start to develop a rather unbearable odour.

September 1939: starter box for World War II is released, and is immediately sold in thousands of copies. This months White Dwarf dedicates 70% of the content on describing this new boxed set, the rest being reserved for the compulsory Space Marine articles. Many veterans are heard complaining about the lack of support for their game on this issue, and claim that this World War II is just a fad that nobody will be gaming anymore six years from now.
The actual boxed set contains a rulebook, scenario booklet, dice, wooden measuring stick, cardboard templates, and a bunch of miniatures. British Englanders get two squads of infantry (both having one Bren gun) and a Bren carrier tank. Nazi Germans get two squads of infantry and a Panzer II tank.

October 1939: White Dwarf releases an article describing Polish army, which consists of two units – infantry and cavalry. In his designer's notes Gav tells that this is not really intended as a full army, but more as an allied contingent for other forces (any non-Axis army can spend part of their points on Polish infantry). A number of new models are released for the Polish infantry, but these are mail order only, while players wanting to field cavalry are told to go and convert it.

November 1939: first supplement for World War II game is released. This is titled Codex: Englanders, and features the units of the Royal English army. This is accompanied by releases of several new models: Cruiser tank, 25 pounder howitzer and a metal special character figure representing Winston Churchill. In his designer's notes article Gav writes that he is already preparing several new codices describing other chapters of the British Come-on-wealth, such as Scots, Kiwies, Ozzies and Indians.

December 1939: second supplement, named Codex: Wehrmacht is released, accompanied by plenty of new models such as Panzergrenadiers, StuG III, Nebelwerfer and a special character model for Adolf Hitler. Englander players claim that the new Wehrmacht codex is beardy.

New releases for year 1940

————————————————————————————————————————

January 1940: White Dwarf announces the first world-wide campaign for World War II, titled "The Phoney War". Players are expected to fight battles and send the results to the design studio, where GW employees will read through them all and decide what will be the results of the campaign.

February 1940: tons of letters related to The Phoney War campaign arrive to GW headquarters. Being too lazy to read them, design studio sells them away to paper recycling and invents the results from their own head.

March 1940: article in White Dwarf describes the end result of the campaign -both Englanders and Wehrmacht won 49.9% of the games, remaining 0.2% having been draws. Campaign is declared as having been inconclusive, with the battle continuing to rage on. Veteran GW players are seen yawning and commenting that this does not really differ from any other GW campaign results that they have seen.

April 1940: rumours about that GW is going to release a new supplement named Codex: Norwegians, but most of the veteran gamers consider this to be as likely to come out as the Fishmen.

May 1940: another long expected book is released. Named Codex: Frogs, it features the infantry and armour of the French army. It is accompanied by several new releases: platoon boxed sets for both regular infantry and Legion Etrangerie, as well as Somua, Hothckiss and Char B1 tanks, and a special character for Charles de Gaulle. Wehrmacht players are complaining that the Frogs are cheesy.

June 1940: a brief poll reveals that of the 2,544 battles that they have fought so far, the Frog players have managed to win 24, score draw on 70, and totally lose the remaining 2,470 games.

July 1940: Frog players are starting to whine that their army list is totally broken. First letters demanding a revision of the army list are sent to GW studio.

August 1940: as part of their annual price adjustments, GW hikes the prices of World War II platoon boxes by 25%.

September 1940: White Dwarf publishes an article about playing games set in a desert environment. This is hoped to boost the sales of sand for terrain making in GW stores.

October 1940: another supplement written by Gav Thorpe is released, titled Codex: Scots. In his designer's notes, Gav tells how this book is really written to demonstrate his personal view of the Scots: green, brutal-looking and liking to yell Waaargh!

November 1940: boxed set of Scottish highlanders is released, and White Dwarf features an article about painting kilts.

December 1940: just in time for Chrismas, another supplement is released, this time written by Jervis Johnsson. In his designer's notes for Codex: Italiano he describes how he wanted to create an army with poor infantry, useless tanks and low Leadership values. A lot of confusion follows from the four pages of special rules about fleeing that this new army gets.

Wow, you have got waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much free time on your hands…. ;-)

January 1941: after a major protest by the French embassy, GW decides to re-release Codex: Frogs, this time renamed as Codex: Liberte. The whole book is re-released and the old one is declared as no longer being valid in tournaments. Hoping that their pleas for revision have been listened to, newly named Liberte players rush to buy – only to find out that the only significant change was that Legion Etrangerie is no longer able to get a bonus to their armour saves from their white kepi.

February 1941: a new campaign, Desert Rats, is announced. This is coupled with the release of a campaign book which features a number of variant army lists such as Afrika Korps and Long Range Desert Group. A lenghty discussion is started about how official these variant army lists are.

March 1941: major part of the White Dwarf is dedicated to the Desert Rats campaign, featuring battle reports, article on painting jeeps, and rules for a new special character Rommel who had been accidentally forgotten from the campaign supplement.

April 1941: as a much-hyped Codex: Fallschirmjaeger is released, Desert Rats campaign vanishes from the pages of White Dwarf, to be replaced by painting instructions for paratroopers wearing grey uniforms. In a battle report Fallschirmjaegers demonstrate their parachute-attack by totally wiping out the defending Englanders, which had been played by a half-blind and demented hamster. While veterans claim that the battle report was rigged (hamster having spent half of the points on anti-submarine weapons), newer players are seen buying thousands of the new models and claiming that "teh falseskirtrangers R teh uBeR 111!!!111".

May 1941: White Dwarf publishes an article featuring the results of the Desert Rats campaign – apparently the amount of victories for each side was approximately equal, so the campaign is again declared as having been inconclusive, and that the fight for the dominance of Saharan sands still continues.

June 1941: again a supplement is released, this time named Codex: Commies and featuring the mighty armed forces of Soviet Union. This army features cheap expendable infantry, commissars and heavy tanks. Wehrmacht players claim that the commie T-34 and KV-1 tanks are cheese, because their armour is almost inpenetrable to all guns.

July 1941: GW announces a new world-wide campaign, this time named Operation Barbarossa, focusing on the Wehrmacht invasion of Soviet Union. This months White Dwarf features a big colour map describing the area of the campaign. Coincidentally, GW also happens to hike up the prices of all World War II products by 25%.

August 1941: White Dwarf publishes a number of alternative army lists for minor Axis, featuring Hungarians, Romanians and Finns. However no models are released, players being instead told to go and convert their own.

September 1941: White Dwarf publishes more rules for special characters, this time Josif Stalin for Soviet Union and Heinz Guderian for the Wehrmacht. Both are completely tournament legal and are declared totally cheesy by everyone who has not actually bothered to read their rules.

October 1941: in a clarification article to the the August article on minor Axis article, studio designers inform that the alternative army lists are unofficial, and therefore only for friendly games and not for tournament play. A number of tournament players who had just spent a load of money and two months of converting and painting time on their Romanian armies are seen bursting into tears and blaming Gav Thorpe.

November 1941: results of Operation Barbarossa campaign are published in White Dwarf. According to the statistics Axis won 93% of the games, Allies won 5% and the remaining 2% were won by the Space Marines (apparently some of the gamers had mixed up systems a little bit). According to GW studio, these results mean that the campaign was inconclusive, and the fighting continues on, even though part of the Rodina has been occupied by the forces of Wehrmacht. All Wehrmacht players claim that the campaign was rigged. Veteran GW players are not surprised.

December 1941: release time for the eagerly waited Codex: Nippon, featuring the katana-wielding armies of the rising sun. This is sold in great numbers, though a lot of players claim that their Surprise Attack special rule (allowing the Nipponese to launch a free air attack against enemy after the deployment phase but before the first turn) is cheese while many fanboys are disappointed about the lack of the Ninja that had been rumoured for a long time.

This last part is more condensed – the thing started to get perhaps a bit repetitive.

1942: a number of new books are released, including Codex: Yankies. In a White Dwarf article, Alessio Cavatore introduces Tiger tank, plus the rules for conversions based on it (Sturmtiger, Jagdtiger and King Tiger). General shouts for cheese go up all over the place. GW also hikes up prices and runs an inconclusive worldwide campaign.

1943: no new codex releases, except for a Heer Panzer supplement (featuring rules for all resin vehicle conversion kits made by Forge World). During the summer an inconclusive Kursk campaign is run and prices are hiked. Late autumn sees release of a new supplement called Party Approved, which collects together most of the White Dwarf articles not covered by other books. It also includes an errata (56 pages) and a Q&A section (83 pages). A lot of players claim that the errata is cheesy.

1944: At the beginning of the year, GW decides to re-release their platoon boxed sets in boxes with new colour art. At the same time, they take the opportunity to reduce the number of models included in each platoon box by approximately 30%. This year also sees a number of inconclusive global campaigns, set in Monte Cassino, Normandy landings and Ardennes offensive.

April 1945: due to a planning mistake by GW studio, the worldwide spring campaign "Berlin or Bust" is actually conclusive, and the Wehrmacht is utterly crushed! The shock of surprise causes many veteran gamers to temporarily loose the balance of mind and being forced under strong medication. Meanwhile White Dwarf publishes an epic account of the events of the campaign, concluding in a four page story describing the thrilling day-long umbrella duel between Churchill and Hitler in the ruins of Berlin; the duel ends when Winston slips and falls, and Adolf prepares to strike the finishing blow, only to momentarily let his guard down – with downed Winston making good of the opportunity and with a surprise move striking the vile German dead for good!

July 1945: a revised version of Codex: Yankies is released. This features a powerful new wargear, called Atomic Bomb. By taking this artifact, American player will win automatically. All non-American players declare this as ultimate cheese, and start giving up the game totally in huge numbers.

August 1945: in a panic effort to compensate for the sudden decrease in players, GW increase the price of their World War II product range by 1745% in order to bring the profits back to earlier level. However, this move does not rescue the situation, and by the end of the month GW board declares the World War II being totally over, and closes down the appropriate part of studio. However, the designers responsible are taken to the prison section of the GW HQ, while the shareholders start preparing a special trial to evaluate their deeds and pass judgement.

This made me think of J.G. Ballard's The Assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motorrace. Griefbringer: I'd LOVE to read more by you !

Luc.

"Gee, Tommy, why are you home? I thought you were off to war?"

"I was, but the new codex came out & the Lee tank was obsolete & only the new Sherman is game legal, so we were sent home."

GI's with Skullz…
Werhmacht with Skullz…
Tommies adorned with skullz also…

Just, well, lotz of Skullz…

trout…

You have a lot of time on your hands, don't you? >;)

No, no! The did not end the game, just made all armies but Yankie and commies obsolete and continues with: 1946- the kind of chilly war!

"1944: At the beginning of the year, GW decides to re-release their platoon boxed sets in boxes with new colour art."

link

Allen

You forgot the efforts of the Japanese playtesters in Manchuria from 1931 on.

It figures..this is obviously a rewrite because the Squats have been left out..again.

Hee hee hee . . . . very good, but like others before have said . . . WAY too much time on your hands, although I spent the time to read it too, so I'm probably not much better . . :-))

Allen, you crack me up sometimes :-))))

Frank

Oh, now this is classic.

Well played!

I think he forgot a few price hikes, otherwise it was perfect.

jgawne: "No, no! The did not end the game, just made all armies but Yankie and commies obsolete and continues with: 1946- the kind of chilly war!"

Let's not get into that Cold War game – it might have been good idea initially, but the implementation was not well-thought out.

Year 1947 starts rather steadily, the only news being that the old codex Yankies is going to be replaced by two new codecies: Yankee Army and Yankee Marines. By the end of the year, approximately 92% of the Yankee players have started playing marines, 5% keep on playing with the army, and remaining 3% did not notice that there had been some codex revamp until they were kicked out of tournament due to an obsolete codex.

However, things start going mushroom-shaped in 1948, when GW releases the updated Commie codex, featuring such new equipment as IS-4 tank. However, the main problem is that also the commies get the atomic bomb (with similar "commies automatically win). This leads to sort of predictable games, with both players taking atomic bombs and claiming that they would automatically win – leading to probably the hugest rules lawyering bonanza that world has ever seen to that date (not at all improved by the numerous but vague "clarifications" released by design studio that just murkied the waters further on).

To get out of the a-bomb deadlock, in 1950 GW starts releasing new codecies for all sorts of minor forces (not armed with atomic bombs) nobody had ever heard about – leading initially to such obscure releases as Codex: Koreans, accompanied by a rather inconclusive world-wide campaign set in Korean peninsula. To further celebrate this event, a further 20% price hike is announced.

Griefbringer

aecurtis: At the beginning of the year, GW decides to re-release their platoon boxed sets in boxes with new colour art.

ROTFLMAO.

But let us not forget: "you will see mid war being retired in favour of their late war replacements." I was wondering how Battlefront was going to find a way to existing players in the GW style.

I wonder how easy it is going to be to find opponents for your mid war army when new players have late war. No doubt you'll get a couple of newer tank units just as your GW brethren are adding Wood Elf Tree Kin. Of course you don't have Panzerfausts in your units but don't feel bad, you can paint new units along side your Wood Elf playing cousins who are painting more Glade Guard since they no longer have the option of having spears.

LOL!

Since I came onto this WW2 game late, I'm waiting or the 2nd Edition they're going to be releasing shortly. It's codename is "Korea". It should hold us for a few years, I figure until 1953 at least.

Word has it, though, that in the 2nd Edition the German army will mysteriously "disappear" due to some malarky about lost molds. I can hear the GW German fanboys complaining for years about their beloved squatty Germans no longer available.

My plan is to simply re-use all the old Soviet models for the new Korean and Chinese forces. They might not be tourney legal, but I could care less about that. I don't want to buy all new models just to line GW's cofers.

I hear other guys are talking about creating something called "The United Nations Forces", but that idea just sounds too cheesy to me. Like everyone would get along? I don't see GW doing this. After all, they make their money on selling a lot of different codexes. Still, it would be nice to use my Canadian models again. (Man, did I get burned when I bought Codex: Great White North from the 1st Edition! I barely got to fight with them!) Still, I hear we'll get to re-use the special MacArthur fig from the 1st Edition, though knowing GW they'll probably retire him right after releasing the set, saying the fig is "too old" for the current army. Or maybe they'll just let him fade away?

I hope they keep the custom armor rules in the 2nd Edition. I have some really cool tanks I built out of old deodorant containers.

BTW I hear GW nuked the nuke rules from the 1st Edition. Too much controversy over them. You can build them, you just can't use them. Personally, I think GW just wants to make us buy more figs is all. All about profit, you know.

Hey, what do you guys think of a 6mm version of the war?

Well, I beleive the "automatic win" rule for possession of the A-bomb was replaced with the "Mutually-Assured-Destruction" special rule when BOTH armies were fielding that particular piece of wargear.

What about Codex: Israel and Codex: Arabs? They allow disgruntled 1st Ed. players to reuse the old tanks, plus they get to fight more than anyone else in 2nd Ed.

Ah if you only knew the truth……

….. ve vould haff to shoot you…. :-)

Guy

Excellent stuff!

Fast forward to the 1990's. The Space Marines, um, I mean Yankies totally dominate the conventional battlefield, and everyone wants to play them. This leads to a period of nothing but boring "training exercise" batreps in White Dwarf. Codex:Soviet Union, while appearing powerful on paper, is totally discredited when one of the top players is beaten at the UK GT by a no-name player using the little-known semi-official Afghani trial rules published in White Dwarf five years earlier. Codex:Republican Guard, while much hyped, is found to be a bust, and totally unbalanced. Alessio Cavatore (sp?) later admits that "in retrospect, the across-the-board Leadership of a 3 may have been a bit low…"

To balance things out, GW decides to introduce the Codex:PAPMNF (Peacekeeping As Part of a Multi-National Force) book. The 4-page "Ask the French Before Doing Anything" special rule is a doozy, especially when your opponent combines it with the "Court the Approval of the International Press" special rule to subtract hard-earned VP from the Yankie player after the battle is completed (for example, any enemy units killed by a template weapon do not not count, unless the template deviated. Then the kills count against the Yankie player). Soon Yankie players are doing more hair-pulling and teeth-gnashing than High Elf players did when the "Intrigue at the Court" rule was first introduced…

:-)

Later,
Markus

..this is quickly heading into CA territory… I love it.

Ooops, there is a slight error with the events for 1943, it is missing the following one:

September 1943: a revised version of the Codex: Italians is released. Those who compare it to the previous version, notice a drastic change in the alliances section: formerly on Italians could spend 25% of their points on Wehrmacht forces, but that is no longer allowed – instead they can spend 25% of their points on Yankies or Englanders. Many players accuse GW of again re-vamping the background setting upside down, while many disgrunted Italian players (no longer able to use their Panzergrenadier models) give up the game and go hiding up in the mountains.

Griefbringer

IIRC, the Nukes rule was switched from 'you automatically win' to 'your opponent automatically loses'. Thus dealing with MAD in one fell swoop.

Hey, does anyone know if Castro is "barracks approved" ?

Doesn't look like Tito's Partisans are Barracks Approved either.

Hey, the proper term is Party Approved, as mentioned under the entry for 1943!

Griefbringer

Somewhere around June 1944 isn't GW going to release a new magazine devoted to this game and White Dwarf won't support it anymore?

Bravo! You should archive this on a site somewhere.

chalkboy8: "Somewhere around June 1944 isn't GW going to release a new magazine devoted to this game and White Dwarf won't support it anymore?"

No, you are mixing up the systems – that is what happened to the larger-scale game set utilising the same setting. It was written by Rick Priestley and called World War Master – the official figures were of heroic 8mm scale. It never caught on with the majority of the players, but there is a small group of older gamers who claim it to be more balanced and tactically challenging than the basic World War II.

There are also some other less succesful games in the same setting, such as World War Quest, which featured joint Allied strike team (consisting of such characters as Englander commando, Yankee para, Commie partisan, Gurkha and Liberte poet with baquette) raiding through underground Nazi bunkers, looting treasures and shooting up everyone they meet.

Most ignored of those specialist games had to be that Jeep-beep game, which consisted of small groups of LRDG and Afrika Korps driving fast around the desert, shooting all over the place and looting jerry cans and other scrap.

Griefbringer

man, that is freaking funny, i havent laughed so hard in forever….

lol, oops getting kicked out of the library, lmfao

Dangit, now I want to play that Jeep-beep game … ;)

Meiczyslaw: well, that Jeep-beep game is little more than the Stalingrad skirmish (and scavenging) game, with some vehicles and Scots added. I think lots of gamers complained that it quite did not have the depth of its predecessor, and that just randomly cruising around the desert felt pretty pointless as a concept.

Griefbringer

Didn't they have a World War Mud Bowl?

If I remember correctly it was a past time that dirty doe-boys and krauts did once they got so tired of killing each other all the time.

Very good, very good.

Very non-partisan too, slammed GW, the GW fanboys, AND the GW haters! Leaving the rest of the universe to scratch their heads in dismay.

I could just imagine Space Marines attacking the Russian lines too. And the final duel between Hitler and Churchill, priceless!

For the rest of you, try to stay off the C.A. board though. That way only leads to madness.

Thought: "Very non-partisan too"

Actually, partisans were introduced in a WD article in early 1942. However, the German players claimed that the partisans were cheesy and unfair, and should not be allowed for tournament play.

Griefbringer

""mutant penguins and frothing axe-wielding loonies""

Quite!

July 1945: a revised version of Codex: Yankies is released. This features a powerful new wargear, called Atomic Bomb. By taking this artifact, American player will win automatically. All non-American players declare this as ultimate cheese, and start giving up the game totally in huge numbers.

At the risk of being found guilty of thread necromancy, I would like to mention that it looks like somebody might have read the paragraph that I quoted above. See for yourself:

PDF link

Or perhaps it is just a coincidence?

Of course, had it been a true GW release, there would have probably been a model and rules for a new special character, Colonel Paul Tibbets.

Griefbringer

June 44
GW announce their "Overlord" Campaign setting, starting with "Sword" module. Werhmact players complain that the lack of an 'oppotunity fire' rule means its unbalanced for defenders

The 'Omaha' module contains a errata with "Stand and Shoot" rule from WH hastily tacked on. Yankee players complain that this means they can't move without getting shot. Also the new "Weather Rule" means all the swimming tanks they bought are now useless.

GW also make it clear that all terrain bought for the "Frogs" codex is incompatable witn the forthcoming "Epson" and "Goodwood" modules, and should be replaced.

Werhmacht with Skullz…

Well obviously
link

Of course, Wehrmacht armies can fight other Wermacht armies, same for Yankees vs. Yankees, Commies vs. Commies, Allies vs. Allies, and Axis vs. Axis games are common.

Wow, serious threadomancy here!

1943 – Germany introduces dunkelgelb as a standard base colour for tanks – it's divisions are disqualified from fighting as GW rules the paint used was not tournament approved.
--
Tim

Dunkelgelb is required for Germany for the armored company 1943 list, but the have to have 3 other colors on the model or it's also disqualified from tournie play.

Where/When is the change to plastic guns to save costs?