"Venturing into my mind I came across reason. I'll start a few steps before the revelation. I experience bouts of depression from time to time, an unwieldy feeling. A feeling that cannot be shook by anyone telling you to feel better or how well life might be at the moment. The thoughts come, "I shouldn't feel this way," "life's fine," "you should be happy." Depression don't care about your life situation. So, there's that. Then there's my enjoyment of the post apocalyptic genre. Think an ancient junkyard in the desert backed by an industrial metal soundtrack. Or simply zombies. There are many ways an apocalypse happens, nature reclaims what is hers, a life ending meteor collides with the planet, mythical beasts, mythical gods. So many. As much as I would like I didn't start writing this to talk about different apocalyptic scenarios. I came here to talk about why I enjoy them. I think it has something to do with survival and the few options I would have to survive.
No matter your world changing event the theme of surviving runs through them all. There might be a break from time to time but life in the apocalypse focuses on the basic needs to continue. Every day the plan is to survive to the next one. Or not, the choice to stop is an option. Losing your mind and persisting through sheer luck, I guess, could happen. Sometimes that what this life feels like. I'll stick with trying to live for this essay. Each day is set up for me in my changed world. Last night's raid from the Broker Clan left me with a leaky canteen and the can of beans I've had since the beginning. Great! Guess I know what I'll have to do today. Survive. Maybe I'll find food. Maybe shelter. Maybe those assholes that stole my stuff.
I'm not thinking about if I'm in the correct job. If I'm managing my time correctly to some idealized way of living a fulfilling life. I want water, food, shelter and if I have to fight every day for it all the better. My days are occupied. I don't have to think about if what I'm doing is what I should be doing. I must live. No marauders, zombies, or mutants will stand in my way. I have to navigate the wind swept wilds, the aggressive vegetation, the now haunted cities. I have the basic daily routine laid out for me every day. The method to get through the day may change from encounter to encounter. That goal, though, is always survive. Not failing at marketing myself because I'm self-employed…"
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Amicalement
Armand
