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"An Apology for my Bad Behaviour" Topic


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holien12 Jul 2020 7:32 a.m. PST

Hi Last week my account got locked and a message I posted on the "How did things begin with? TFL Issue" was deleted in violation of the site policies.

As part of a response to By John 54 I typed out the following:-

"It is crystal clear it will not change his pov and it is better to just try and move on…"

So I sought clarification and it was explained to me by Gwen that the content

"is not appropriate behavior on our forum."

I asked for further clarification and Gwen explained

"Encouraging people to "move on" would be bad for our business, correct?".

So I explained that was not what I meant by "Let's Move On"

As I said to her: -

"In the context of the discussion both sides are entrenched and it was meant as a phrase to say let's move on and get back to what TMP is about which is gaming and fun.
So let's move on to gaming and fun.

In no way was my phrase "let's move on" bad for your business?

If anything it would be good for your business if people "try and move on" from the destructive dialogue that has been happening."

So I would like to apologise to anyone who thought I was asking you to move on from TMP that was not the case.

Thank you to Gwen for explaining my Bad Behaviour as she said

"but in the future you should be careful about saying things which others might think are advising them to leave TMP."

I will indeed and best regards and great gaming to you all who are reading this in strange times.

I missed HCon this weekend and I hope that next year we can return to some Face to Face gaming and drinking a few beers.

Cheers

Don Manser12 Jul 2020 7:59 a.m. PST

No worries here. I took it as move on to a different topic.

Don

whill412 Jul 2020 8:01 a.m. PST

Maybe we can send our posts to the editors for review and approval. Once satisfied with their edits can post our comments.

Blackhorse MP12 Jul 2020 8:51 a.m. PST

Not at all familiar with that situation and have only seen this post, but fully understand what you meant by "move on". The problem isn't on your end. No apology required IMO.

Stryderg12 Jul 2020 8:54 a.m. PST

On of the major problems with text based discussions (which people seem to forget) is that you can't see the other person's body language and facial expressions and you can't easily ask follow up questions.

So…"mia culpa" accepted, I guess, and what are you painting?

Col Durnford Supporting Member of TMP12 Jul 2020 8:56 a.m. PST

I took it the same way Don did.

No issue here.

Thanks.

Legion 412 Jul 2020 9:06 a.m. PST

Yeah No sweat ! … moving on … thumbs up

Korvessa12 Jul 2020 10:25 a.m. PST

Understand both sides.
1) That your original meaning meant no offense
2) That TMP might be sensitive to some otherwise benign phrases

WarWizard Supporting Member of TMP12 Jul 2020 10:42 a.m. PST

TMP editors need to get approval before they start locking people out. I think THAT would be bad for business.

Hope I'm not going to get locked out now.

Basha Felika12 Jul 2020 11:06 a.m. PST

Holien, good to have you back – lucky that you were willing to engage with Gwen and sort out the misunderstanding , rather than leave the forum in a huff.

I would have thought the phrase you used was in common usage for its meaning to be clear – maybe, as WarWizard suggests, decisions to lock/suspend people should be approved by the EiC (or maybe they already are?)

gamershs12 Jul 2020 11:20 a.m. PST

I was locked out once and am not exactly sure why. Did not think it was an issue and just let it go. In time I was allowed back in. I suspect it was a miss interpretation.

For example, the word gay has a different meaning now then it did 60 years ago and old farts like me may not know what the new meaning is if it just changed.

Still not sure why I was locked out.

Andrew Preziosi12 Jul 2020 11:24 a.m. PST

Thatssa bekuz alla yousa guise know speaka the Inglish twoaa the well!

(Yikes! I might have just admitted to murder in some small Ruritanian town)!

Basha Felika12 Jul 2020 12:35 p.m. PST

Andrew, please, that's "…speaka DA Inglish…"

Got to keep up the standards

Andrew Preziosi12 Jul 2020 12:58 p.m. PST

Le Oups! wink

rmcaras Supporting Member of TMP12 Jul 2020 2:08 p.m. PST

but in the future you should be careful about saying things which others might think are advising them to leave TMP.

but we can not KNOW what others "might think". THAT is the definition of MIND READING, something no human is capable of.

It appears someone on staff misinterpreted your message. Upon clarification, the proper interpretation is not a violation of the rules.

Gwen should have thanked you for the explanation and re-opened your account, as she did.

Darrell B D Day12 Jul 2020 2:11 p.m. PST

I don't understand why you felt it necessary to make such a fulsome apology because the editor didn't understand a very common and well understood phrase. Shouldn't the apology have come from the editor?

DBDD

cavcrazy12 Jul 2020 2:21 p.m. PST

😐

Blackhorse MP12 Jul 2020 2:28 p.m. PST

Yep. What DBDD said.

In fact that would make an interesting Poll question: how many people understood him or wrongly thought he was suggesting people leave TMP?

I've been thinking about it, and to have his account locked over something like that when he wasn't in the wrong AT ALL is just…ridiculous. I hope at least HE got an apology in addition to having his account reinstated.

Personal logo gamertom Supporting Member of TMP12 Jul 2020 6:27 p.m. PST

"Thatssa bekuz alla yousa guise know speaka the Inglish twoaa the well!"

Andrew, I'm sure Orkz everywhere are commenting on how poorly you speak their language.

Captain Oblivious12 Jul 2020 7:57 p.m. PST

And now for something completely different. A man with three nostrils.

genew4912 Jul 2020 8:02 p.m. PST

Welcome back. I think the vast majority of members knew what you meant.

Oberlindes Sol LIC Supporting Member of TMP12 Jul 2020 10:31 p.m. PST

I can't conceive of "move on" as suggesting "leave this website".

Twilight Samurai Supporting Member of TMP12 Jul 2020 11:18 p.m. PST

Well I'm glad you made your apologies in text rather than in some sort of uncomfortable hostage video.

https://youtu.be/Q2BDtdkyxFk

SnipesGB13 Jul 2020 1:34 a.m. PST

I don't understand why you felt it necessary to make such a fulsome apology because the editor didn't understand a very common and well understood phrase. Shouldn't the apology have come from the editor?

I've been thinking about it, and to have his account locked over something like that when he wasn't in the wrong AT ALL is just…ridiculous. I hope at least HE got an apology in addition to having his account reinstated.

Indeed. I clicked on this thread expecting a message from Bill.

Instead we find ordinary members being gaslit into believing they've done wrong and brow-beaten into publicly apologising for making valid criticism.

Volleyfire13 Jul 2020 2:24 a.m. PST

What we British coin as everyday language, phrases and colloquialisms don't always travel well to foreign shores without sometimes being misinterpreted unfortunately.

Andrew Preziosi13 Jul 2020 2:32 a.m. PST

Andrew, I'm sure Orkz everywhere are commenting on how poorly you speak their language.

Is it possible to disgrace one's Orc Family even more than they currently are… I'm just wondering to what depths can one sink even more? frown

Good one though, Gamertom! laugh

Darrell B D Day13 Jul 2020 2:33 a.m. PST

What we British coin as everyday language, phrases and colloquialisms don't always travel well to foreign shores without sometimes being misinterpreted unfortunately.

I don't think "move on" in this context is uniquely British; indeed, I rather suspect it was US in origin if anything. I'm British and I would have thought it was inline with the expression "move on (or along); nothing to see here" which definitely originated in the US although we use it now.

So I don't think the editor can claim she was confused by esoteric British usage.

DBDD

DBDD

Shardik13 Jul 2020 4:58 a.m. PST

I can't think of any situation where saying "move on" in a forum would mean "leave the forum".

Legion 413 Jul 2020 8:22 a.m. PST

To quote … ah … me …

Legion 4 12 Jul 2020 9:06 a.m. PST
Yeah No sweat ! … moving on … thumbs up

Yes, moving on does not mean leave TMP … it means … Go to another topic. More geared to the major reason TMP exists.

E.g. as I just posted on the WWII Discussion Board, about an Osprey book …
link

And as many of you know I'm a Yank … But I may have used a Brit saying … That is still OK … Yes ? 🤔🤫🤭 Can I say "Good Show Old Boy!" too ? 🧐

I was locked out once and am not exactly sure why.
Got ya beat ! Twice !!! Oh wait … this is not a competition is it ? 🤔😲🥴🤭 Never mind … 😁 "Moving On !" 🙄😏😎🏃‍♂️

"Thatssa bekuz alla yousa guise know speaka the Inglish twoaa the well!"

Andrew, I'm sure Orkz everywhere are commenting on how poorly you speak their language.

Hey ! Hey ! Them Orkese gotz feel'ns too ! Ya nows !!!! 🧟‍♂️

[Note : I just learned how to use emojis on my PC !!!!!]🤾‍♀️🤸‍♂️🤾‍♀️🤸‍♂️🤾‍♀️🤸‍♂️🤩😁

Basha Felika13 Jul 2020 9:45 a.m. PST

Legion 4,

How did I guess? 😇🥳🤩👏👍

And looks like your !!! Button is sticking?

Cerdic13 Jul 2020 1:19 p.m. PST

Legion 4, mate. Yes, you can say "good show, old boy", but you will sound like an extra from Downton Abbey!

Personal logo Editor in Chief Bill The Editor of TMP Fezian13 Jul 2020 5:17 p.m. PST

Just a quick note to everyone.

I can't think of any situation where saying "move on" in a forum would mean "leave the forum".

Please keep in mind that we've had several trolls posting recently about how "it's time to move on" and encouraging people to leave TMP for other shores, so I think it is perfectly understandable that Editor Gwen would want to have a talk with holien to resolve any issues.

Instead we find ordinary members being gaslit into believing they've done wrong and brow-beaten into publicly apologising for making valid criticism.

First of all, you're the troll whose account I just locked, and you're back already?

Second, nobody browbeat holien, Editor Gwen is about the politest human being I know. Nor was he asked to post anything on the forum by us.

I've been thinking about it, and to have his account locked over something like that when he wasn't in the wrong AT ALL is just…ridiculous. I hope at least HE got an apology in addition to having his account reinstated.

Aren't you making too much of this? His posting privileges were temporarily removed until the issue was resolved, at which point his privileges were reinstated. Seems like normal forum moderation anywhere.

TMP editors need to get approval before they start locking people out. I think THAT would be bad for business.

A well-moderated forum is GOOD for business – or have you forgotten the old days, when we were too lenient?

Legion 414 Jul 2020 7:06 a.m. PST

And looks like your !!! Button is sticking?
Or my big fingers ! 😁😂👈👉☝👆

will sound like an extra from Downton Abbey!
🤩 I liked the old "Upstairs Downstairs" series a ways back much better. "Jolly Good !" 😎

Blackhorse MP14 Jul 2020 7:46 a.m. PST

I've been thinking about it, and to have his account locked over something like that when he wasn't in the wrong AT ALL is just…ridiculous. I hope at least HE got an apology in addition to having his account reinstated.

Aren't you making too much of this? His posting privileges were temporarily removed until the issue was resolved, at which point his privileges were reinstated. Seems like normal forum moderation anywhere.

But did HE get an apology when it became clear the mistake was on Editor Gwen's part? Seems like common courtesy anywhere.

Note: Deleted post was just a screwed up duplicate of this one. Carry on. grin

Darrell B D Day14 Jul 2020 11:16 a.m. PST

Blackhorse MP – much though we like and appreciate TMP (and I've been coming here for many years), I think that we regulars know that apologies from the editorship are an extremely rare and unlikely occurrence. I don't fret over it anymore – I accept it as part of TMP's unique charm.

DBDD

Basha Felika14 Jul 2020 12:36 p.m. PST

Can't afford to lose active club members over a simple misunderstanding like that, I suggest.

While I appreciate these are ‘difficult' times for all sorts of reasons right now, maybe referring such suspensions for prior approval by the EiC would be appropriate?

Blackhorse MP14 Jul 2020 10:32 p.m. PST

DBDD,

I was taught that if you do wrong by someone, even accidentally, an apology is in order. Just a simple acknowledging of an error on your part, no need for pistols at 10 paces or anything. Just basic common courtesy. If one is not forthcoming I think that says something about the person at fault.

Like you I very much enjoy TMP and would agree that it has it's own "unique charm", but I don't think this is part of it.grin

Darrell B D Day15 Jul 2020 1:14 a.m. PST

Like you I very much enjoy TMP and would agree that it has it's own "unique charm", but I don't think this is part of it.grin
.

You're right but maybe it's now time to (to coin a phrase) "move on"? grin

DBDD

Legion 415 Jul 2020 9:39 a.m. PST

I've heard that somewhere before ? 🤔

Personal logo SHaT1984 Supporting Member of TMP13 Oct 2020 4:38 p.m. PST

Ordinarily wouldn't poke my head into something not invited [yeah right…], but being taught what words mean, and idiom, how they are used, are two very different things when it comes to 'foreign' English learners/ speakers.

I'm no scholar, but I passed enough high school to teach others who can't, I've run and helped several refugee/ migrant groups over the years, and even when not, non-citizens of other kinds, don't get abbreviated phrases and/or humour.

A major issue IIM is Indian taught English- it is basically 19thC rote, and they have very little (at least adults now) concept of how 'modern English' has evolved way beyond that. Hence the always calling a white man 'Sir'.

>>I can't conceive of "move on" as suggesting "leave this website".

In modern parlance absolutely not at all.
Move on/ out, get lost, GTFOH all have perjorative content/ intent and don't need an associated smiley to make them understood, to natural E. speakers.
These are the risks of the modern on-line hobby…
Now to resume our normal programming_
*cup *regards d

Legion 414 Oct 2020 9:29 a.m. PST

Mature civil input is always welcomed ! thumbs up

von Schwartz15 Oct 2020 5:19 p.m. PST

Naaaaw!

Wolfhag Supporting Member of TMP15 Oct 2020 8:25 p.m. PST

Guilt and transgressions are always assumed, innocence must be proved AFTER you get out of the DH. There is no jury of your peers.

Of course, Legion 4 could not have a trial by his peers as he has none. (smile)

Wolfhag

Legion 418 Oct 2020 9:39 a.m. PST

Of course, Legion 4 could not have a trial by his peers as he has none. (smile)
I find it hard to argue with that … 😁😎

Sorry - only verified members can post on the forums.