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"What is best "almost war" for satirical gaming project" Topic


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Pvt Snuffy26 Mar 2019 9:16 a.m. PST

This may seem a bit odd. I'm sort of looking for the right combination for:

*Tin Soldiers in Action / Gentlemen's War rules,
*Shiny Toy Soldiers overdressed for Action
*Army humor
*A war so obscure and so ridiculous, you can't believe it, OR
A war that might have happened for ridiculous reasons, but cooler heads prevailed.

So far, I'm checking out the Rebellion in Prussia, the French – Mexican War, obscure battles in India, war of 1812 .

I'm hoping for something German as the names could be hilarious.

Also thinking that going back a bit farther into League of Augsburg or 1650-1700 era may be better.

Thoughts or suggestions appreciated!

Personal logo Parzival Supporting Member of TMP26 Mar 2019 9:22 a.m. PST

The Pig War: link

Not involving Germany, but without a doubt the most ridiculous "almost war" in history.

Personal logo miniMo Supporting Member of TMP26 Mar 2019 10:22 a.m. PST

The Aroostook War between Maine and New Brunswick., also involving the République du Madawaska and the Mohawk Nation.

Historically, it was a scruff up between lumberjacks and militia; but no reason not to overdress the militias for the dramatisation.

And by measure of casualty ratios, one could say that the black bears won!

link

Olivero26 Mar 2019 10:40 a.m. PST

Hmmm….. The Potato War might fit your bill. Some call it the war of the Bavarian Succession.
But whattya mean by "German… names… hilarious…". Dunnocantthinkofanything…. ;-)

Winston Smith26 Mar 2019 10:58 a.m. PST

Yankee Pennamite Wars. There were 3 of them.
link
It was all about conflicting charters of the colonies.
Connecticut had a charter that extended to the Pacific Ocean.
Pennsylvania's charter extended north and west from Philadelphia.
The Wyoming Valley was settled by Connecticut settlers, and the Penns tried to boot them out.
The war was put on hold by the American Revolution but continued afterwards. Allegedly, while the Wyoming Valley was being attacked by Tories and Indians during the Wyoming Massacre, a contingent of Pennsylvania troops were sitting still down river at Nescopec. Maybe. grin

Anyway, there were three Yankee Pennamite Wars, despite the fact that to get to the Wyoming Valley, the Connecticut Boys had to cross New York and New Jersey to get there.
I think total casualties in all three wars were 3 dead, but a lot of dirty looks were exchanged.

Winston Smith26 Mar 2019 11:01 a.m. PST

Here's a map of conflicting claims.
link

Connecticut also claimed parts of Ohio until 1800.

Pvt Snuffy26 Mar 2019 12:03 p.m. PST

Ya'll are definitely headed in the right direction.

I'm thinking of something more European, perhaps regarding dynastic claims to land of little worth in central Europe or something.

Also, something in the caribbean might do well. Instead of Banana Wars it could be Coffee War and involve Spanish, French, British, Dutch and US forces. Plus navies!

But this is just the sort of unusual factoids I wanted!

mad monkey 126 Mar 2019 1:25 p.m. PST

A article by Karl Marx about the French intervention in Mexico. Spain, France and England. Add some German bank loans that need redeeming and the German Army can be added. With the Monroe doctrine/Civil War you have the Americans, both North and South added. Colony envy will add the Austro-Hungary and Italy to the mess.

Personal logo ColCampbell Supporting Member of TMP26 Mar 2019 1:34 p.m. PST

The "Soccer" War between between Honduras and El Salvador in 1969, using surplus American WW2 equipment.

link

Jim

Personal logo Mserafin Supporting Member of TMP26 Mar 2019 1:50 p.m. PST

The Prussian Incursion of 1807?

GurKhan26 Mar 2019 3:19 p.m. PST

The Neuchâtel Crisis of 1856-57? – link

The Turbot War of 1994-96? Might not fit the bill as it was naval – link

The Andorra Revolution of 1881, caused by the prohibition of gambling? link

ChrisBrantley26 Mar 2019 5:24 p.m. PST

Not sure if it qualifies as an "almost" war, but one of my obsure favs is the War of Jenkin's Ear between Britain and Spain, fought mostly in Georgia, Florida/Spanish America circa 1739.

link

bsrlee26 Mar 2019 6:31 p.m. PST

There were a heap of 'Small Wars' around 1848 in Europe, including such things as the Swiss Civil War, mainly between the tiny German states.

Personal logo PrivateSnafu Supporting Member of TMP26 Mar 2019 6:36 p.m. PST

Toledo war.

First, get some American militia figures and rednecks line them up on either side of a river on the table.

Get the best trees to make a forested setup, ask Bill which ones, lots of forests in the region.

Now crack open the growler you picked up on the way home from work. Pour a couple pints.

Now proceed to hurl jokes and insults at your gaming buddies across the river for the rest of the evening.

Dn Jackson26 Mar 2019 8:59 p.m. PST

The Anglo-American War of 1860. There were some in the US who advocated picking a fight with the UK to stave off the impending Civil War.

Andoreth27 Mar 2019 1:03 a.m. PST

The Japanese attack on the German base at Tsingtao during WW1? The Germans would have been in colonial uniforms but that should not stop you equipping them with Pickelhaube, whilst the Japanese would have lots of flags and bugles. Much of the action could take place round the capture of the brewery. And you would have the opportunity to have both German and Japanese silly names.

Pvt Snuffy27 Mar 2019 6:36 a.m. PST

I'm digging that The Neuchâtel Crisis of 1856-57? – link

It's just the sort of thing that seems sillier now than then.

Maybe all characters could be named for famous cheeses?

skippy000127 Mar 2019 7:33 a.m. PST

"54-40 or fight!!!"-look it up.

khanscom27 Mar 2019 5:54 p.m. PST

Russo- Spanish war in No. California over fishing and seal poaching (early 1800s); or Russo- American- British conflict in Hawaii with King Kamemeha.???

AICUSV28 Mar 2019 2:35 p.m. PST

The US and Germany almost came to blows in the 1880 over Pago Pago.
link
Often thought it to be a fun period.

Pvt Snuffy28 Mar 2019 2:35 p.m. PST

How about:

British paranoia about Russian plans to invade say, Delhi or Madras has them invade a barren, useless piece of dirt filled with savage tribesmen with little to nothing of value to trade?

Oh wait, reading too much Barthorp…

Pvt Snuffy28 Mar 2019 2:37 p.m. PST

"The US and Germany almost came to blows in the 1880 over Pago Pago."

Hmmm, could have US ACW / plains war figs fighting 1870 Prussians in Picklehaube.

Winston Smith28 Mar 2019 7:26 p.m. PST


The US and Germany almost came to blows in the 1880 over Pago Pago.

I guess it would have to be a naval war. Where would the land forces fight? I know Belgium is a traditional battlefield, but…

khanscom29 Mar 2019 9:48 a.m. PST

Staying in the Pacific, the U.S. intervention in a Samoan civil war in 1899 might also hold some potential. U.S. marines and naval landing parties were involved, as well as RN sailors. This all led to the partition of Samoa among Britain, Germany, and the U.S., but there could be the possibility of a wider conflict if there were a falling out among the great powers.

AICUSV29 Mar 2019 4:40 p.m. PST

Andoreth – I am working of the Germans vs Japanese, no spike helmets however.

Major Bloodnok31 Mar 2019 4:21 a.m. PST

Invasion of Hannover 1803.

Pvt Snuffy14 Apr 2019 2:47 p.m. PST

Have been reading up a bit on the war of 1812. Aside from the fact that it is real, it defies all attempts to satirize it, so I think I might game it as straight history!

A US president is on the field, declaration of war with no preparation, invasion of Canada, indjun fights, Yankee US refuses to participate and instead sells supplies to the British…

thehawk28 Apr 2019 1:21 a.m. PST

The Toggenburgerkrieg was fought in Switzerland in 1712. You could do something along the lines of a burger krieg being about burgers. For example the Toggenburgerkrieg being about the opening of a <insert silly brand name> burger restaurant in Toggen. After all the Romans did protest the opening of a McDonalds in Rome. The first McDonalds in one european city was torched in the 70's I think. Burgers were a big deal and worth going to war over. Of course service is so slow in Switzerland that fast food would be an anathema.

link

In reality one of the causes of the 1712 war was an archbishop's relationship with local nunnery, if you know what I mean.

The war was also known as the Zweite Villmergerskrieg. As you would be aware the food situation in Switzerland was not good amd many would say that the situation remains so even today. So bad that many town names end in 'swil'. If on holiday avoid eating in these towns. link

Villmergerskriege becomes Swillmergerskrieg. There must have been many wars over swill in Switzerland in history.

Graubunden or the Gray League is a real canton, presumably named after its alliance of senior citizens.

"1066 and All That" could be a source of a mythical war.

cplcampisi12 May 2019 1:46 p.m. PST

The Venezuelan crisis of 1902-03 could have lead to war between the US and Germany?

link

Ryan T Supporting Member of TMP12 May 2019 6:02 p.m. PST

In 1603 the Spanish crushed a rebellion by the Chinese merchants and workers in Manila. They used Japanese mercenaries as well as Filipino axillaries. In response, the Chinese emperor considered invading Luzon but ultimately it was decided to forego such an expedition. But think of a game with conquistadors and samurai against a Ming Chinese army…

RudyNelson12 May 2019 7:58 p.m. PST

We did a series of short articles on isolated actions which last a short time or only one battle. NC vs GA war which had a captured company disappear. It happened after the AmRev. A bloody series of battles. GA vs Florida in the early 1800s. They invaded Florida several times. Other articles in the Time Portal passages.
Other longer articles over various American Filibuster actions in Mexico, Central America and Cuba.

Pvt Snuffy13 May 2019 6:56 a.m. PST

Yes, Banana Wars and Pancho Villa stuff was sort of on my mind. Smedley Butler is not only a real character he is a local character of Philadelphia.

Never heard of the great GA-NC-FL wars!

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