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"Remake of Zulu" Topic


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James Forrest08 Aug 2005 7:17 p.m. PST

Wow! Strong opinions on this one.

Personal logo enfant perdus Supporting Member of TMP08 Aug 2005 8:50 p.m. PST

"Zulu" is a sentimental favorite and has been since I was a child. Of course I'd love to see a good remake.

What I find fascinating is that everyone assumes "modern" movie makers would change the story to pander to the tastes of today's audiences, thereby corrupting history. This is , of course, EXACTLY what Cy Endfield and Stanley Baker did. They were not above pandering to their audience, or allowing history to override a good yarn.

Now, I'm not going to nitpick over facing colors and unstained helmets, but let me point out that…

Chard and Bromhead had beards like quickset hedges, but that wasn't considered sexy in 1964, so we get Baker and Caine as clean shaven as a Bangkok tranny.

The entire nonsense of Rev. Witt's daughter was to introduce, inexplicably, an element of sexual tension to the story. Reverend Witt himself is a useful artifice for raising and dismissing several moral points that may have crossed the minds of moviegoers ca.1964 but certainly weren't on the minds of defenders of Rorke's Drift.

Colour-Sergeant Bourne is written as a stock film character, the British Sergeant-Major/Police Constable, full of long-service and middle-aged wisdom. Frank Bourne was really 24 years old and had been Colour-Sergeant less than a year. Likewise, Surgeon Reynolds, who in reality was about the same age as Chard and Bromhead, is made 20 years older to conform to type, the cantakerous old sawbones.

Most alarmingly, Dalton is portrayed as a fey storekeeper. One notices most British films of the 60's and 70's seem to have a poncey supporting character, so perhaps it was expected.

Reverend Smith is completely omitted, presumably because two reverends would have been confusing, especially with one preaching peace and desertion and the other handing out ammo and cheering on the defenders.

The 24th wasn't a Welsh regiment but rather the usual Victorian rag bag of English, Irish, Welsh and Scots. Of course by pretending they're Welsh, we can have that lovely "Men of Harlech" moment, which didn't actually happen. Neither did the Zulus "salute" the brave defenders, and once the impi had Bleeped texted off said defenders spent some time with bullet and bayonet dispatching wounded Zulus and making sure the dead ones were really dead.

So, while I'm perfectly willing to decry how current filmmakers are willing to contort history for marketing and storyline purposes, let's at least acknowledge "It Was Ever Thus," and quit pretending they made better history films "once upon a time." If you don't beleive me. rent "Birth of a Nation" and "Intolerance".

Personal logo enfant perdus Supporting Member of TMP08 Aug 2005 8:54 p.m. PST

Shoot, I almost forgot to mention poor Private Hook, transformed into a petty criminal so the audience gets their precious rebel/ne'er-do-well turned reluctant hero. That one is still making the rounds in Hollywood action flicks today!

rmaker09 Aug 2005 7:28 a.m. PST

Murvihill wrote: "WHY DON'T THEY REMAKE MOVIES THAT SUCK?"

Because movies that suck don't make (as much) money. Why remake a 'known loser'?

Murvihill09 Aug 2005 1:16 p.m. PST

It's kind of like playing High Card where you already know what your opponent drew, and "Zulu" is a king. Once you made the remake, everyone's first reaction is to compare it to the original, which in the case of Zulu is practically guaranteed to be a loss. But the people who remade "Dune", "The Thing" and "Little Shop of Horrors" (well, at least the remake was in color) all got the name recognition of the original AND made a better movie.

That's why they should remake movies that suck.

CooperSteveOnTheLaptop09 Aug 2005 3:32 p.m. PST

Yes remake it. The new ALAMO was brilliant.

Frothers Did It Anyway10 Aug 2005 1:42 p.m. PST

Under no circumstances whatsoever should Zulu be remade – an utterly pointless exercise. It would be like remaking Casablanca or Lawrence of Arabia or The Godfather. No, no, no. That sort of movie magic is rare and can never be planned. Any remake would never be a patch on the original.

As usual some folk have trotted out a list of the inaccuracies in Zulu as a reason why it should be made. As I recall, although I haven't watched it in a couple of months, Zulu is a dramatic film not a documentary.

Slavish historical accuracy is not a storytelling virtue in itself.

How about a movie about Camerone – similar set up, new movie. Everyone's a winner.

Mapleleaf10 Aug 2005 2:03 p.m. PST

How about a PC version ?

The Zulus mount a picket line aeound Rorke's Drift, using the ox formation of course, and are supported by various groups – Greenpeace, CND, C of E, Black Panthers ( ?) . etc – cameo apperances by various politicians , labour leaders, churchmen advocating that the army leaves.
Hugh Grant starring as Lt Bromhead gets involved in a romantic interlude with a Zulu's chief's daughter and croses over to their side ( Rev Al Sharpton as the Zulu Chief )


The dispute goes to arbitration and is settled by a musical contest between the Welch choir of the 24th and the Zulu dancers with idol judge Zack as the referee. The final credits shows everyonr arm in arms signing "We shall overcome!""

nazrat11 Aug 2005 8:04 a.m. PST

Urg— I just threw up a little in my mouth. No thanks to THAT particular adaptation!! 8)=

Greyalexis11 Aug 2005 8:56 a.m. PST

I have this vision with both officers shooting it out with revolvers in both hands. never missing and never reloading. unless you count the pistol they pull out of their backs. also they would be doing jumps off the walls and bags that would put matrix to shame.

KeithJohnson11 Aug 2005 6:29 p.m. PST

Mapleleaf, you left out that Hugh Grant gets the Zulu lass preggers and this causes everyone involved to come together as one happy family.

CooperSteve12 Aug 2005 8:32 a.m. PST

"How about a movie about Camerone?"

Can you honestly imagine the US public turning out for a French military film, even if they do all get wasted…

CooperSteve12 Aug 2005 8:36 a.m. PST

I heard a lot of the 'Welsh' Rorkes' drift defenders were Brummies. (Inhabitants of Birmingham, England, for the benefit of forn correspondents)

Mapleleaf12 Aug 2005 10:42 p.m. PST

I forgot to mention that Monty Python had a rather spectacular version of the Zulu Wars in their "Meaning of Life" movie. It was set in Glascow,

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