Once again we return to the Library Teen Room with our intrepid teen adventurers.
Monty Python Is Alive and Well In D&D (well, mostly)
DM describes traveling through the wilderness. Two teens hold their hands up as if holding reins and start doing riding motions.
DM (me): "You do not have horses."
Teen 1: "But do we have coco—"
DM (quickly): "And you don't have two coconut halves to bang together, either."
Teen 2: "I've seen that movie! I've also been to the castle that they used as Camelot."
Me: "It's only a model."
Teen 2: "Huh? No it isn't."
He hasn't watched that movie nearly enough times.
DM Jokes Are Dad Jokes
Druid casts thorn whip, creating a magical whip to strike his opponent. He rolls…a 1.
DM: "You did not whip it. You did not whip it good."
Laughter-- they got a Devo joke! I feel young again.
Teen (Monk): "I leap over the minotaur's head and spin around to attack it from behind!"
DM: "He's 8 feet tall, so, no, you don't. You're not Michael Jordan."
Teen: Blank look.
DM: *Sigh* "Lebron James."
And I feel old again.
Same Teen: "I use my staff to hit him in that nerve on the neck that makes you fall asleep."
DM: (Thinks, "You're not Spock." But after the Michael Jordan bomb, says) "You don't know anything about that."
I know better than to push it with my nostalgic pop culture references.
Role Play Can Bite You
Half-Orc Rogue opens door, sees a room with several skeletons, perfectly still. Paladin rushes past him and slashes at one. All the skellies animate and attack the paladin, who has used up his action for the round.
Paladin: "Come help me fight them!"
Rogue, wins initiative: "I close the door and hide."
Run Away, Run Away— Will We Have a TPK?
Other characters open the door and drag the paladin away from the skellies, slamming the door shut behind them. The paladin then wins a Strength test to hold the door closed. After a bit of discussion, upon finding another room with skeletons through an adjacent door (the party is in a central hexagonal chamber, at the foot of a spiral staircase), the paladin uses his Divine Sense. He senses undead behind every door.
Rogue: "That's it. I go up the stairs."
DM: "As soon as you set foot on the stairs, all the doors open and skeletons pour out."
I start placing skeletons on the battlemat (I don't actually have enough skeletons, so I add zombies and goblin figures).
Teen, looking at mat: "Are we all gonna die again?"
Other Teen: "We've barely started this adventure!"
Ah, Resourcefulness, Thy Name is Teen!
A furious defensive fight winds up with the party more or less successfully escaping up the staircase, dragging two unconscious party members. They close the trap door of the staircase in the face of the skellies.
Teen: "Put the bodies on the trap door to hold it!"
You know, I should probably award XP for that. But he's also the paladin, so maybe not?
And that's where we leave our poor, underpowered souls (as 5 o'clock came, bringing the end of the session). Will they realize there is a way down that avoids the skeletons? Will they beat up the rogue for almost getting them killed? Will the DM tell more dumb jokes? (Okay, of course he will.)
Tune in next week for more tales of adventure, derring-do, and assorted Library Teen D&D nonsense!
takes broken, weaponless figures and makes something useful.
