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"Funny D&D death" Topic


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772 hits since 5 Jun 2017
©1994-2017 Bill Armintrout
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Ranger322 Inactive Member05 Jun 2017 8:49 a.m. PST

I just had to share this…

I run a D&D 5E game for my 13 yr old son and two nephews, 16 and 19. The 16 yr old has been playing a very self-serving ranger throughout the campaign, and roleplaying him exceptionally well. Honestly, he acts more like a rogue than a ranger. He's obsessed with gold and takes any opportunity to get more money…anything, and I mean anything, to bolster his purse.

So last session they had to rescue a king and queen, who in-game is my son's brother (he plays a paladin). They rescued them but, thinking nobody was looking, the ranger stabbed the queen and stole anything she had of value. He tried to blame the wounds on the pursuing orcs, but with a poor charisma roll vs the king's perception, they knew he had done it. That session had to end right there, so they've all stewed about it for a few weeks…until last night. And just to be clear, the queen hasn't died at this point.

We continued with the story last night, with the king (temporarily run by the 19 yr old) out for the ranger's blood. They encountered two woodsmen, one of whom was able to stabilize the queen, but she still couldn't really do much for herself. After several failed stealth attempts by the king and his brother (the paladin) to dispatch the ranger, the ranger knew the jig was up. He grabbed the queen and put a knife to her throat, trying to bargain his way out. He was disarmed from behind by the cleric (played by me, the DM, to keep them alive at times), and the queen was pulled to safety. Charging in with a flurry of blows, the king slashed and slashed at the already weakened ranger, knocking him unconscious. The paladin threw a pile of barrels on him just for spite.

A few failed death saves later (one was a crit fail), and the ranger became the first PC we've ever lost during this campaign.

It's cool though…he's now creating a barbarian/druid, and I told him he's got to behave!

Battle Phlox05 Jun 2017 9:21 a.m. PST

In our campaigns the DM allows players to use Bag of Stasis. What that basically does is put anything in the bag in a state of suspended animation.

Well, we had a thief in the party. late one night while on watch he decided to rummage through our goods. He decided to put his head in the Bag of Stasis to look inside. His head was frozen in time. The sad part was his body still needed oxygen. Now, if this were day time another party member could have simply pulled the bag off. Since it was at night with everyone asleep the party awoke to a dead thief with his head stuck in a bag.

billthecat05 Jun 2017 9:32 a.m. PST

Justice!

But seriously….. These parties sound like their own worst enemies….

Parzival05 Jun 2017 9:57 a.m. PST

I'm running an Intro to D&D program for teens at my library over the summer (this is our third year for the program). Our first session began with a goblin attack on an outdoor banquet, with the party unarmed. The Mountain Dwarf barbarian, Strength 20, Intelligence 5, asks of he can pick up a table. I say, roll a Strength check, and I set the DC at 20 (hard). He rolls a 17, which with his bonus is a 23. He's now wielding a table.
Dwarf: "Can I smash it into the goblins?"
Me (going with the imaginative flow): "Sure. Roll your attack, but you don't get your proficiency bonus."
He rolls a 19. I roll a d6 to see how many goblins he hurls the table on. 4.
I have him roll 1d8 plus his strength bonus. Result: 9.
My assistant DM (a teen learning so he can take over) : "They're dead."
After this, the goblins fled into the woods (with a captive, which is the "hook").
Dwarf: "Can I chase them? Can I take the table?"
At this point my sanity returned and I ruled that though, yes, he can carry a table, no, he can't easily trapse through the woods with it as his primary weapon.

Later the same dwarf:

Punched a wolf in the face, causing it to throw its rider.
Snapped that now prone goblin's neck. ("Well, this adventure just went PG-13," I say, to much laughter.)
Smashed full speed through a door because he couldn't figure out how to open it, so that's what he does with doors.
Grabbed and hurled one goblin into another goblin, killing both.
Ran through an illusory dragon cast by the wizard to attack the one goblin that didn't fall for the trick.
Stopped to pet the bunnies found in a rabbit hutch.
I guess he has a softer side.
And when he fell into a pit trap, announced he was going to take a nap.

It was a very funny afternoon.

Personal logo Virtualscratchbuilder Supporting Member of TMP Fezian05 Jun 2017 10:18 a.m. PST

Many years ago I ran a campaign with about 7 players, one of whom was very impetuous. When they were about 5th level or so they found themselves in a situation where they wanted to sneak up on a sleeping dragon. The plan was to arrange themselves in advantageous positions where they could all simultaneously strike what was hoped to be mortal blows.

Unfortunately the impetuous one got impatient and launched himself at the dragon's neck before everyone was in place. Naturally he rolled an abysmal failure which roused the dragon. In a randomly determined sequence of events, dragon turned and breathed down his side, which toasted the three PC's caught in the open there. Another perished in the rout, but eventually three including the impetuous one made it outside and managed to avoid the rampaging dragon.

When they reached a place to rest, one of the survivors wrote me a note that said "I am going to look for an opportunity to kill the impetuous one with my ax." At some point when I felt the impetuous one would have his defenses down I said "now" and the PC said "I am going to try to decapitate him". And…… he rolled a natural 100. No mess, no smell, no head. Sweet.

USAFpilot05 Jun 2017 10:21 a.m. PST

What was the ranger's alignment? I have not played D&D since first edition, but back then the ranger had to be of good alignment. Clearly what the ranger did was an evil act. A paladin would never go adventuring with someone who is evil.

As DM I would never allow evil aligned players. Too many issues and problems which go against the idea of cooperative play within the players' party.

Norman D Landings Inactive Member05 Jun 2017 10:29 a.m. PST

We had a disastrous run-in with a lich, which resulted in two PC deaths and the rest of the party fleeing shamefully.

Next session, the (reduced) party faces off against a group of fairly high-powered henchmen at the entrance to a dungeon. I cast a high-level insect swarm from scroll. In your fat, stupid FACES, henchmen. No more Mr. nice party. We waited for the swarm to disperse, then entered the dungeon, pausing only to loot the skeletal remnants of the henchmen.
Inside the dungeon – two cells.
Each cell contained the skeleton of a hapless captive, picked clean by my insect swarm.

They were the replacement characters for the two players who'd lost their characters last week.
Sitting in the cells, minding their own business, waiting for us to free them so they could join the party.

Oops.

Personal logo Coyotepunc and Hatshepsuut Supporting Member of TMP05 Jun 2017 10:31 a.m. PST

Personality and chatacter! I always rewarded my players for doing things "in-character." Once, it led to a duel, andcwe had to interrupt the game to decide on the boundaries of characters killing other characters. Everyone agreed that it was cool, if it was because of the established personalities.

Ranger as a thief? I once pkayed an elven fighter/magic user that I introduced to the game as a half-elven thief… the rest of the group didn't catch on until we were level 4 or so. They also thought I was a higher level "guide" working with the DM because I was always passing him notes lol!

Personal logo Jeff Ewing Supporting Member of TMP05 Jun 2017 11:24 a.m. PST

"The paladin threw a pile of barrels on him just for spite." This is not the most Paladinly behavior, IMO. It's dang funny though!

Personal logo Mardaddy Supporting Member of TMP05 Jun 2017 12:53 p.m. PST

One of the biggest talents a DM/GM should develop is setting the lesson that EVERYTHING has consequences, sometimes good, sometimes bad, without going over the top.

Especially with rookie players, overlooking or even rewarding overt, in-the-face (what would be) criminal activity even in a fantasy setting can set the wrong tone.

For veteran players, so long as everyone knows and agrees to the style of play, yes, but for newbies, my opinion it sends the wrong message allowing to "go evil."

Good job Ranger322, nudging instead of hammering.

GuidoSan Inactive Member16 Jun 2017 12:09 p.m. PST

Ok, here's mine.

My best friend and I were introducing his son and one of his friends to D&D. Said friend was trying to sneak a look into a rather large room that, as he is about to find out, was filled with several dozen kobolds. My friend's son, with a loud amused voice, pushes his friend through the doorway and into the room. At this point the friend could gather himself together and run back out of the room, since the kobolds were rather surprised. However, he decided to try a command spell to get them all to drop their weapons. And they ALL save. And he, in short order, becomes a pincushion to the volley of arrows they lob at him (think about the end of the movie '300').

These two 'friends' then spend the better part of a year and a half trying to stab each others characters in the back. Oy.

Mithmee Supporting Member of TMP19 Jun 2017 1:11 p.m. PST

There are far to many to list.

4th Level High Dex Elven thief who slipped and fell into a river of lava.

My brother's low level Mage who thought that shocking grasp would be the right thing to do against an Ogre.

The key thing here in both is that rolling a "1" usually ends up very badly.

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