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"Why will North Korea go to war?" Topic

22 Posts

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1,127 hits since 9 Apr 2017
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darthfozzywig Supporting Member of TMP09 Apr 2017 6:10 p.m. PST

Once again, North Korea is talking up its nuclear game and once again the West is talking tough.

But what is the real Kim Jong-X will go to war?

1. Needs more grazing land for his unicorn herd.
2. Sends his whole army to find the end of the rainbow.
3. To eradicate all hairstyles but his own.
5. To find out who stole the number 4 from this poll.
6. Forced out of the caves by angry Mole Men.

(Note: I say Kim Jong-X, because by the time this poll runs, who knows which Kim will be Glorious Leader?)

Rod I Robertson Inactive Member09 Apr 2017 6:39 p.m. PST

Kim Il-Sung is the Great Leader.

Kim Jong-Il was the Dear Leader.

Kim Jong-un is a little more complicated. His full title is now, "The Dear Respected Comrade Kim Jong Un, Chairman of the Workers' Party of Korea, Chairman of the State Affairs Commission of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea". Despite what the Chinese keep calling him he is most definitly not, "The Fat Leader"!

North Korea will go to war because President-X attacks it.

DPRK Undersecretary of Security Wa Ching-yu.

wrgmr109 Apr 2017 7:22 p.m. PST

I recall quite a number of years ago a similar situation was occurring. (Well it has happened a few times.)
In this particular instance it came to light that there is a rather large water pipe running from China to NK. When NK started rattling the sabre, this pipe mysteriously broke. 😜
After a couple of weeks NK, sheathed the sabre and the pipe was fixed.
I wonder if this was discussed in Florida this weekend?

robert piepenbrink Supporting Member of TMP09 Apr 2017 7:22 p.m. PST

If it happens, it will be a miscalculation. Maybe as many wars have started in the conviction that the other side was bluffing than ever started because someone thought it was a good idea. This one has "they won't fight over THAT" written all over it.

SamNaz Inactive Member09 Apr 2017 7:35 p.m. PST

Four is an unlucky number in Korea

vagamer63 Supporting Member of TMP09 Apr 2017 7:45 p.m. PST

North Korea has been at war since 1950! The truce signed in 1953 ended the fighting, but the war has been ongoing ever since!

darthfozzywig Supporting Member of TMP09 Apr 2017 9:29 p.m. PST

If you are attempting a serious discussion of the DPRK, I invite you to ANY OTHER THREAD (including the Napoleonics boards).

7. To crush the TMP imperialists!

Lion in the Stars09 Apr 2017 10:55 p.m. PST

8. To convert all gamers to the One True Scale (whatever the Kim Dynasty holds that scale to be, probably 1:1)

PMC31710 Apr 2017 1:09 a.m. PST

The Kim Dynasty wargames with the People's Army and dissenters. The People's Army get live rounds and the dissenters get sticks if they are cunning and find them on the ground while they advance through minefields.

bsrlee10 Apr 2017 2:43 a.m. PST

Loose heroically and hope for massive aid from the victors.

Gennorm10 Apr 2017 4:46 a.m. PST

Loose heroically and hope for massive aid from the victors.

I don't think the victors could afford the cost of sorting that train wreck of a country out.

coopman Supporting Member of TMP10 Apr 2017 4:54 a.m. PST

A mind is a terrible thing to lose and I believe that KJU is there.

Night Witch Inactive Member10 Apr 2017 6:34 a.m. PST

Kim saw the movie DUNE and wants some of that cool floating gear for fat boys.

hetzer10 Apr 2017 8:04 a.m. PST

A Klondike bar !?

Personal logo Waco Joe Supporting Member of TMP10 Apr 2017 8:38 a.m. PST

Loose heroically and hope for massive aid from the victors.

I don't think the victors could afford the cost of sorting that train wreck of a country out.

That might be the one thing that gets China on board with a possible unification. The economy of the South would be shackled for a couple of generations.

Personal logo Weasel Supporting Member of TMP10 Apr 2017 9:03 a.m. PST

To finish their pokemon collection.

robert piepenbrink Supporting Member of TMP10 Apr 2017 10:19 a.m. PST

9. Manifest destiny. There's no room in the DPRK for any more prison camps or bunkers, so they'll have to annex the south.

Personal logo Weasel Supporting Member of TMP10 Apr 2017 10:49 a.m. PST

Dear leader got one of those exploding Samsung phones and they took it as an act of imperialist aggression

mwindsorfw Supporting Member of TMP10 Apr 2017 11:41 a.m. PST

The usual set of crazy miscalculations. Our top 10 list:

(1) Americans have no stomach for casualties. (This is pretty much the starting point for every other wrong assumption.)

(2) The U.S. won't fight.

(3) Even if we attack a U.S. city, they will be so afraid of more civilian casualties that they won't fight.

(4) The U.S. won't lose men defending South Korea.

(5) The U.S. won't lose men defending Japan.

(6) Americans are so soft that they will fold after we torture or kill a few prisoners and post it on the internet.

(7) Americans don't want to pay for a war.

(8) For all their high-tech stuff, the Americans will quickly run out of supplies if we can hold on long enough.

(9) If we can just get into Seoul, it will be too costly to drive us out.

And #10:

(10) Americans are so soft that one North Korean is worth 30 Americans.

All of that may seem crazy to us, but in a land with limited exposure to the outside world, and were everyone tells Glorious Puff-Pastry what he wants to hear, you can see how some really bad Group Think could take over.

Personal logo ochoin Supporting Member of TMP10 Apr 2017 7:29 p.m. PST


zoneofcontrol10 Apr 2017 7:47 p.m. PST

There is an old business saying that I cannot recall exactly. However, the gist of it is that "the new, little shop hurts you on the way in and on the way out" of business. This could be a bumpy ride.

wrgmr111 Apr 2017 9:25 a.m. PST

Good one Ochoin!

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