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"Ruleset with the Corniest Title?" Topic

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09 Nov 2016 6:37 p.m. PST
by Editor in Chief Bill

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Personal logo Editor in Chief Bill The Editor of TMP Fezian09 Nov 2016 6:36 p.m. PST

Which miniatures ruleset has the most corny name?

Scott MacPhee09 Nov 2016 6:41 p.m. PST

I Ain't Been Shot Mum.

or Troops Weapons and Tactics.

Both solid sets of rules, by the way.

Personal logo Flashman14 Supporting Member of TMP09 Nov 2016 7:00 p.m. PST

Snappy Nappy

redbanner414509 Nov 2016 7:07 p.m. PST

Fireball Forward – Awful movie with a dumb name but a good set of rules.

RetroBoom09 Nov 2016 7:10 p.m. PST

I ain't been shot mum, hands down.

79thPA Supporting Member of TMP09 Nov 2016 7:30 p.m. PST

Buckle for Your Dust.

Just about anything by Peter Pig.

Rich Bliss Supporting Member of TMP09 Nov 2016 7:37 p.m. PST

My Galley Sally. That title has always irritated me.

Dale Hurtt09 Nov 2016 7:42 p.m. PST

I Ain't Been Shot Mum, with Snappy Nappy a close second.

For scenario names it would be any of the "Fondler" series for Sharpes Practice.

Personal logo Narratio Supporting Member of TMP09 Nov 2016 7:58 p.m. PST

Peter Pig's darn decent rule set "Hey you in the jail!" wild west.

(Whenever I say that we're playing "Hey you in the jail!", people look around to see who I'm talking to…)

Winston Smith09 Nov 2016 8:44 p.m. PST

Flames of Liberty

Personal logo Editor in Chief Bill The Editor of TMP Fezian09 Nov 2016 10:53 p.m. PST

Death or Dishonour… (or Assegai That Did It!)


Personal logo Editor in Chief Bill The Editor of TMP Fezian09 Nov 2016 10:58 p.m. PST

Marston Less


Weasel09 Nov 2016 11:04 p.m. PST

SOme of the WW2 titles from back in the day get a bit groan-inducing.

"Panzers of Steel Eagle Glory of Honour"

Personal logo Editor in Chief Bill The Editor of TMP Fezian09 Nov 2016 11:45 p.m. PST

The Three Must Get Beer's

TMP link

Personal logo Editor in Chief Bill The Editor of TMP Fezian09 Nov 2016 11:46 p.m. PST

Samurai Knight Fever


GypsyComet10 Nov 2016 12:27 a.m. PST

Red Chicken Rising (space combat)

Norman D Landings10 Nov 2016 2:20 a.m. PST

"Lamentations of the Flame Princess"

Seriously, imagine asking your mates 'who's up for a session of Lamentations of the Flame Princess?'

MHoxie10 Nov 2016 2:28 a.m. PST

Little Lambent Meteors
Killer Katanas

willlucv10 Nov 2016 2:52 a.m. PST

I ain't been shot mum, hands down

You've perhaps never heard of It ain't half hot Mum, the classic 70's British sitcom, which the game title is obviously a take on?

Northern Monkey10 Nov 2016 3:37 a.m. PST

Mein Panzer. What's it meant to be? Mein Kampf in a tank?

daler240D10 Nov 2016 4:11 a.m. PST

It is amazing how much a stupid name can handicap a set of rules. Makes you wonder about the supposed "Can't judge a book by it's cover" and the veracity of it. I think we are all guilty of it. I figure if the author can't put any effort into the name, how much did he put into the rules.

Jimmy da Purple10 Nov 2016 4:25 a.m. PST

I used to love the rules "A Fistfull of Miniatures" and its expansion "A Few Miniatures More".

toofatlardies10 Nov 2016 6:01 a.m. PST

I think that the problem is that we all have different ideas about what is a silly or corny title. When we wrote I Ain't Been Shot Mu back in 2000, the trend was for rule sets to have very uber-germanic names which looked like they'd bee dreamed up by Dr Goebells. We wanted to distance ourselves from that trend and produce a title which reflected the human side of warfare rather than millimetres of armour. Sixteen years on I am still not unhappy with the title and cannot consider it silly.


peterx Supporting Member of TMP10 Nov 2016 6:25 a.m. PST

I like: I Ain't Been Shot, Mum. as a title.

Ivan DBA10 Nov 2016 6:34 a.m. PST

Flames of Liberty.

Dynaman878910 Nov 2016 6:40 a.m. PST

A Fistful of Tows. Silly name for a serious rule set – I mean what other set of rules starts each rules section with an "executive summary"

Norman D Landings10 Nov 2016 6:42 a.m. PST

Two distinct categories here, I reckon:

First, there are intentionally light-hearted, flippant, or punning titles.

Then you have the straight-faced clunkers – titles the writers intended to be taken seriously. These, I find way more ridiculous. Pretentious, corny, hackneyed, derivative and just plain dumb.

"Kampfgruppe Normandy" just makes me want to facepalm every time.
Written by someone with enough nounce to realise the Germans had a term for 'battlegroup' – not quite enough to consider the Germans might also have had a term for Normandy.

Spaceadmrodkalker10 Nov 2016 7:38 a.m. PST

Look, Sarge, no charts: WWll. I love the rules.

cfielitz10 Nov 2016 7:47 a.m. PST

I have no problem if they are intentionally silly, but when they try to be serious, I tend to roll my eyes.

Jamesonsafari10 Nov 2016 8:02 a.m. PST

My Galley Sally
Snappy Nappy
Fist Full of TOWs (is an old west/modern cross over?)

Ottoathome10 Nov 2016 8:18 a.m. PST

"Honey, I Sacrificed The Kids!" My early ancients rules. Includes the 16 "Gods" for the Imagi-Nations variants of the four major powers

The Empire of Queen Nastiupset (Imago-Egyptian)
Pez- God of yummy little bits left in the litter box.
Bustus- Goddess of shoes, crash diets, and plastic surgeons.
Psoriasis- Goddess of hypochondriacs and constant complainers
Snot- God of Butt-kissers and suck-ups.

the Empire of the Ohsoseriousians (Imago-Assyrian)
Nummnutz- God who became God when he married God's ugly daughter and then God died and this fool took over and ran all of creation into the ground.
Niblik- God of deadwood and Golfers.
Noodnik- God of people who believe the government is here to help them.
Dummazz- God of people who answer letters from the Nigerian oil minister.

The Kingdom of Schlockem and Glockamorra- (Imago-Caananite)
Baali-Hai- God of winos and cheep wine.
Shiksa- Goddess of High Maintenance Women and Pms.
Hazerei- God of garbage, cheap knock-offs, and souvenier stores.
Tchotchka- God of Tchotchkies, Flea-markets and Garage Sales.

The Kingdom of the Surferdoodles. (Imago- Minoan)
The Mighti Favog- God of Mealy mouthed politicians.
Bimbo- Goddess of desperate over-aged beach bunnies.
Franki & Ah-Net. God and Goddess of the sea, parties, beach blankets, youth and fertility (but only after marriage).
The Schlemiels- The Gods who really determine the fates of men. Their first commandment is "Thou shalt not win!"

Dynaman878910 Nov 2016 8:56 a.m. PST

> Fist Full of TOWs (is an old west/modern cross over?)

WWII to modern, possibly back to WWI.

Hafen von Schlockenberg10 Nov 2016 9:39 a.m. PST

"A Knight to Dismember"--but I like it.

The Kingdom of Schlockem sounds like my kind of place.

MajorB10 Nov 2016 10:33 a.m. PST

Yeah, "Snappy Nappy" is just plain awful, and has unfortunate connotations here in the UK …

Personal logo The Virtual Armchair General Sponsoring Member of TMP10 Nov 2016 10:33 a.m. PST

Gotta go with "Mein Panzer."

Sounds too much like a fascist love story, way too much identification with the wrong side.


MajorB10 Nov 2016 10:35 a.m. PST

I Ain't Been Shot Mum, with Snappy Nappy a close second.

For scenario names it would be any of the "Fondler" series for Sharpes Practice.

It is clear that some of our American cousins just don't get Britiah humour.

Winston Smith10 Nov 2016 11:18 a.m. PST

Newbury Fast Play Ancients rules.
I have to believe that the irony in the title is intentional.

alien BLOODY HELL surfer10 Nov 2016 11:23 a.m. PST

Panty Explosion! (or whatever it was called)

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP10 Nov 2016 11:40 a.m. PST

Gotta go with "Mein Panzer."

Sounds too much like a fascist love story, way too much identification with the wrong side.

That one always evoked "My Little Pony" for me …

Mein kleine Panzer
Sehr schöner Panzer
Fülle die Welt
mit Zerstörung

I am working on a set of rules called "Buckle your Swash!" for Errol Flynn cinematic battles. Seems to have some affinity for martial arts movie mayhem, too.

I also have almost finished playtesting, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Mordor…"

Hafen von Schlockenberg10 Nov 2016 1:07 p.m. PST

+1 Winston, except for me it was the "Fast Play Colonials" set. "Should be just the thing for speeding up those big TSATF games",thought I. Hah.

I too thought that either the title was some kind of in-joke,or that our British friends had a very different idea of "fast".

Until,that is, I got hold of a couple of earlier English sets,containing rules such as "It takes one phase for a bugler to bring the instrument to his lips",and "Orders may be shouted at the rate of three words per phase".

Loading a jezail: 16 phases. "Your turn." "I'm reloading". "Still reloading". "Almost finished". "There! Now I'm ready to fire! Hey,where'd everybody go?"

Everything's relative, I guess.

Personal logo The Beast Rampant Supporting Member of TMP10 Nov 2016 2:01 p.m. PST

IMO, "My Galley Sally" takes the prize. Talk about uninspired. And its not like when it was published, all the "good" names had already been taken.

Mot anything from TFL forms a line right behind, though "Sharpe Practice" is reasonably clever.

I rather like Snappy Nappy, though knowing what a substantial portion of Napoleonic games considers "nappies" to be would have made me seriously reconsider the name.

MajorB10 Nov 2016 3:01 p.m. PST

though "Sharpe Practice" is reasonably clever.

And "Sharp Practice" is even more clever.

Personal logo etotheipi Sponsoring Member of TMP10 Nov 2016 3:11 p.m. PST

Everything's relative, I guess.

Yes, I have used a number of "fast play" rulesets that allow you to play through the Siege of Sevastopol in only about eleven months or so.

Great War Ace10 Nov 2016 3:53 p.m. PST

Gold and Gore.

Questing Beasties.

(my two most egregiously unserious titles for fantasy RPG; the second one is current)

Weasel10 Nov 2016 4:11 p.m. PST

I think "I aint been shot mum" and "Fistful of TOWs" are pretty clever, personally.

Dynaman878910 Nov 2016 5:00 p.m. PST

Corney and Clever are not exclusive terms. Indeed – the most clever bits of prose are some of the corniest.

Henry Martini10 Nov 2016 5:29 p.m. PST

Ah, the excruciating Skirmish Wargames colonial rules, Hafen. I think I still have my old copy buried somewhere safe from innocent eyes. I believe the masochistic author and friends still use it.

Weasel10 Nov 2016 6:39 p.m. PST

Good call Dynaman :-)

Personal logo Gonsalvo Supporting Member of TMP10 Nov 2016 10:30 p.m. PST

"A Fistful of Seamen" although obviously and intentionally tongue in, err, cheek, is about as corny as it comes, eh?

They can be forgiven for the great games they put on at Historicon a few years back, though. :-)

Dale Hurtt10 Nov 2016 10:48 p.m. PST

I Ain't Been Shot Mum, with Snappy Nappy a close second.
For scenario names it would be any of the "Fondler" series for Sharpes Practice.

It is clear that some of our American cousins just don't get Britiah (sic) humour.

Oh, I get it. I just don't find it funny. Maybe if I were 10 years old still I would. But I am not, so I don't. I find it corny humor. Hence its nomination.

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