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"You know you're a Wargamer's Daughter..." Topic

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JAFD2601 Aug 2016 8:41 p.m. PST

Salutations, gentlefolk!

Back in the '90's, the HMGS Newsletter (or whatever that pamphlet they sent out every couple of months was called) had a short article "You know you're a Wargamer's Daughter if…"

Does anyone remember it ? Can anyone scan or copy it and send me a copy ? Friend of mine with female offspring would, I think, find it funny.

Thanks, very much, for any help you can give me with this.

Chokidar02 Aug 2016 1:09 a.m. PST

… it DOES rather sound like the first line of an unwholesome ditty…

RavenscraftCybernetics02 Aug 2016 3:34 a.m. PST

There once was a War Gamer's daughter.
Who went much further than she oughta.
She teased all the boys,
by stealing their toys,
and used them as Tea Party fodder.

zoneofcontrol02 Aug 2016 12:00 p.m. PST

Your request is from a little before my time in HMGS, Inc. (aka East). However, I remember a thread on boardwargamegeek that has "Rules for dating a wargamer's daughter". Follow the link and go about halfway down the page.


I remember it because one of my customers gave me a copy of an almost identical list when my daughter was born 17 + 1/2 years ago.

Private Matter02 Aug 2016 3:11 p.m. PST

+1 RavenscraftCybernetics

Personal logo Gonsalvo Supporting Member of TMP02 Aug 2016 5:35 p.m. PST

ZoC – boy, that's pretty curmudgeonly!I'd say, raise your daughters and sons right and trust them to do the right ting until they prove themselves incapable… within reasonable constraints appropriate to their age and maturity.

The article in question was a much more positive thing, along the lines of

"You can tell the difference between the Grenadiers and Chassuers of the Old Guard… on 6mm figures, from 3 feet away!"

"You know the odds of rolling a "9" omn 2 D6… without havuing to stop to figure it out!"

"You describe the color of your new blouse as being 'Polish Crimson' or 'Aurore'

and so on


Personal logo chicklewis Supporting Member of TMP02 Aug 2016 7:51 p.m. PST

You are the only student in your class who knows what a Zamburek is.

zoneofcontrol03 Aug 2016 8:17 a.m. PST

Just making sure that you have the depth to realize that the list of "rules" is a joke and not an actual self-help guide. I hope you are not actually planning to use them. I figured that out all by myself and have not employed even one of them. Well… close but not quite! (That was a joke too. I did NOT come close to using them for real.)

JAFD2603 Aug 2016 7:52 p.m. PST

Salutations, again, gentlefolk !

Methinks Gonsalvo and I are thinking of the same article. IIRC, a couple more items therefrom:

"Your makeup brushes have been borrowed to use for the landscaping of a new terrain piece."

"Father is painting up a Napoleonic Russian army. It's going to be your dowry"

Might someone's memory be jogged and the box where that issue's hidden remembered ?

uglyfatbloke14 Jan 2017 5:07 p.m. PST

You know you're a wargamers husband when you get handed a bunch of figures to base at the same time as you're told what to cook for dinner.

Last Hussar15 Jan 2017 4:20 a.m. PST

1. You are a woman/girl.
2. You have a parent who wargames
3. err that's it.

Last Hussar15 Jan 2017 4:27 a.m. PST

I agree the linked version is wrong – its a rework of the 'Rules for dating my daughter' which is equally idiotic.

I prefer what JAFD quotes.

We can do our own – You know you are a wargamers child when they spend more on their toys than on yours.

Last Hussar15 Jan 2017 4:36 a.m. PST

I am the very model of a wargamers daughter
I'm quite inured to all the blood and guts and slaughter
I know all the Union Generals, both known and forgettable
And recite the Battles of Napoleon in order alphabetical.
I can calculate most dice odds rather quickerly
Though polyhedrals can still be rather trickerly
And know lots of stuff of absolutely no use to anyone
Such as horse colours of Romans as well as all the Hun.

Last Hussar15 Jan 2017 4:43 a.m. PST

She knows the colours of the horses of the Eastern Hun
She knows the colours of the horses of the Eastern Hun
She knows the colours of the horses of the Eastern Hun

I've memorised the tonnage of ships at Midway and Trafalgar
I know the rates of fire of the Bren, the Maxim and the BAR.
I've helped dad defend from the Nazis attack on Malta
I am the very model of a wargamer's daughter.

She's helped dad defend from the Nazis attack on Malta
She is the very model of a wargamer's daughter

Part time gamer19 Apr 2017 2:55 a.m. PST

Not to mention..

"Shes daddys girl" just for going along w/ all that. lol

von Schwartz16 Jun 2019 2:51 p.m. PST

Bravo, bravo, bravo marvelous, but you are neither Gilbert nor Sullivan, and don't let them find out!!!.

khanscom29 Jun 2019 5:44 p.m. PST

Two thumbs up for that bit!

Personal logo Mserafin Supporting Member of TMP11 Jul 2019 2:09 p.m. PST

There was an episode of The Avengers where Mr Steed is detailed to protect a young lady at her parents' home. They pass the time in the "game room" re-fighting Waterloo and Trafalgar. After beating him soundly at both she chirps "daddy was a military historian!"

I've been looking for a girl like that ever since.

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