"What are the most moonbat GoT theories for next season?" Topic

Fans seem to be getting annoyed that their past theories have been demolished. So, they are coming up with new ones.
I'm not giving any links, but I got them from Google News. The Entertainment section often has a full Game of Thrones page.

"We" all think that "R + L = J" has been confirmed. That Lyanna Stark is Jon Snow's mother, and Rhaegar Targaryean is Dad. Not so fast! There are theories that Dad is Aerys the Mad King.
And that Lyanna told Ned "His name is Jahaerys!" That's a real Targ name but hardly a name to give a baby you have to take past Robert and Tywin.

Then there are the usual theories naming anybody as another Targaryean. Tyrion, Jamie, Cersei, some, none or all.

How long do I have to wait???

Oh, by the way. Khloe Kardashian is the daughter of OJ Simpson too.

Well, R+L=J has been 'confirmed' to the extent that HBO has released a chart that explicitly labels Rhaegar as Jon's parent. Of course, they could always be lying or could change their mind.

If ANY new character shows up in Kings Landing it's Arya in disguise.

GRRM will finish the next book before then.

Arya will finish GRRM.

One of the strangest that I have seen is that Jon is not the grown up adult version of the baby that Ned gets at the Tower of Joy. That baby they claim has blond hair, like most Targaryens (supposedly) and since Jon isn't a blond that isn't him as a baby.

Another is that Euron will kill two of Dany's Dragons and therefore blackmail Dany into marrying him.

Also Tyrion remarries Sansa and they wind up ruling.

But yet another is based on the prophesy that was given to Cersei "until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that " The crackpot theory that I have seen takes the "another" and supposes that it should be "an Other" as in one of the Wights.

The crackpot theory that I have seen takes the "another" and supposes that it should be "an Other" as in one of the Wights.

You mean, 'white walkers'? Not the zombies.

Either way, them is some fugly chicks!

Bran finally gets his jedi powers.
Light saber in hand cuts down Cercei, jamie. Night king, dany and the dragons. As the true heir of the north takes control of westeros.

500 000 years later The Republic will be funded on corisant.

The Jon isn't a blond so the baby can't be him thing is silly at best. Hair color at birth doesn't always reflect what it will be when you are older. I can in fact provide no less than 5 specific examples of people born blond who now have naturally jet black hair…. 1)Me. 2)My brother. 3)My other brother. 4)My nephew. 5)My other nephew…..

All blond until around age 5 or so… black by 8.

You mean, 'white walkers'? Not the zombies.

Either way, them is some fugly chicks!

The theory I saw listed "wights" (it's not my theory)so, for the sake of accuracy….but yeah, look Cersei may be evil and nuts but she is a looker!

The Jon isn't a blond so the baby can't be him thing is silly at best. Hair color at birth doesn't always reflect what it will be when you are older. I can in fact provide no less than 5 specific examples of people born blond who now have naturally jet black hair…. 1)Me. 2)My brother. 3)My other brother. 4)My nephew. 5)My other nephew…..

All blond until around age 5 or so… black by 8.

Hence the fact that's it's filed under "crackpot". I've seen plenty of nutty theories in my short time following GoT, including that Jon is actually the Night King, that Ser Gregor's head (the re-animated Mountain) is actually King Robert's Head and that Littlefinger is really some sort of Braavosi spy. One that I'm not so certain about is that Tyrion really isn't Tywin's son, that he's actually yet another Targaryen (which would explain his affinity for the dragons, and theirs for him). I would consider that one as "not bloody likely" but still in the realm of possibility.

GRRM will finish the next book before then.

Yeah, most crackpot theory of them all, that GRRM will ever write all 7 books.

Bran will end up controlling the main Dragon

Dany will marry Gendry

The Hound will be the new High Sparrow

Cersei will be killed

Arya will get back together again with her Direwolf, oh she will be wearing another face but her Direwolf will still know it is her.

Littlefinger will step through the sky door on his own accord.

Arya will get back together again with her Direwolf, oh she will be wearing another face but her Direwolf will still know it is her.

I don't think that such a crackpot theory. Her wolf NEEDS to show up again in some form or fashion.

1) It will end as if Tolkien or Lewis wrote it. Jon and Dany take their rightful bums to the iron throne, secure by the might of their dragons and a huge army and bring prosperity to Westeros.

2) That huge army will avoid running into Euron's much larger, more powerful fleet and avoid complete destruction, while Euron conveniently does a Robert Maxwell.

3) Cersei will finally realize that she's best off giving up the throne and will move to Essos with Jaimie and live happily ever after.

4) Most things will be resolved in a peaceful and mutually beneficial way.

5) Turns out the White Walkers are misunderstood and only ever wanted respect and be treated as normal people.

Actually, now that you mention it, Tyrion has hair more like that of King Robert…

Another Crackpot theory that I have seen is that the White Walkers are actually the allies of men vs. "The Lord of Light" who is basically Satan. Now a "god" who requires human sacrifice does seem fairly evil to me.

Melissandre has gotten over her despair over failing to get Stannis the gig.
When Jon exiled her, her attitude was "You need me, Big Boy."
She's heading South. Maybe. Arya is heading North. Maybe.
Mel prophesied that she and Arya would meet again. Let's hope that Arya has better luck with Needle than Maester Cressen did with poison.

Then Arya hooks up with Gendry and they both live happily ever after.

Still wonder if Lyanna didn't have twins. Just cause they showed only Jon doesn't mean that there isn't another baby there. Especially a girl. After all Howland Reed has a daughter the same age as Jon Snow.

In the show, Jon looks 5 years older than Meera.

Sansa takes up dog breeding. She gets in the habit of feeding rapists, child killers etc to them, but starts going off the rails a bit. (Echos of King Aella of Northumbria and his viper pit)

The High Sparrow is/was Howland Reed.

Jon prevents a war of mutual annihilation but cutting a deal with the White walkers.

Tyrion is really the mad kings son (by rape).

Varys is a Blackfyre and is will betray Dennerys to place his own nephew on the throne.

Euron is understating the size of his manhood.

The Maesters are secretly at war with magic, they will try to destroy the dragons.

The new head of house of Frey goes into the pie business with Arya (Under the pseudonym "Bentos").

At the end of the siege of Kings Landing, Jamie kills Cersis and takes off, telling Dennerys as he leaves "that thing is poison" as he points to the iron throne "the best thing you can do is to melt it down". There is a lot of Valyrian steel in it.

Lord Lyanna Mormont introduces Bear cavalry, true only 62 of them, but the Dothraki take flight at the sight because "thats just not natural" (OK, your commander rides a dragon, but there are limits!) and she then freezes the dragons fire with one of her "looks". Dany decides to cut a deal with her.

Tromound and Brienne ride into the sunset together.

Ser Davos becomes the first elected president of the first republic of Westeross.

I predict that there will be none of that nonsense about Aegon not dying in the sack of King's Landing but being a secret Blackfyre, and leading the Golden Company (Who? Never mind.)….. My brain hurts.
With 13 or 15 episodes left, that is far too much new crap to work into the story de novo. George is not above that, but D&D have a deadline.
Given the hints that both the show and the books will arrive at the ending more or less in agreement, the above will be irrelevant, even if "true"…

D&D have wisely cut such digressions to the bone. They find the Euron Greyjoy storyvhandy, only because it gives two popular characters something to do, and gives Dany a fleet. No more.

My analysis of the D&D vs Martin stuff can be summed up by Dan Ackroyd in Ghostbusters: "Hey! I worked in the private sector. They expect results!"

Euron is understating the size of his manhood.

Plus the size of his fleet.

I think that the Iron Born islands situation will be one of the first things Dany takes care of.

Also once Dany lands everyone will see that she is the rightful Queen – except Cersei but she does not matter since she is not going to survive the next season.