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"NEWSFLASH - snap presidential election in Zubuto (reuters)" Topic


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390 hits since 7 May 2016
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boggler07 May 2016 4:05 a.m. PST

From our political correspondent in Mpangi

In a surprise move, the President for Life of Zubuto, Dr Depe DuDu, has called a snap presidential election to be held this weekend across the nation. At a press conference in the presidential complex in Mpangi, President DuDu stated that the election was necessary in order to address accusations of corruption that have been levelled at the Zubuto leadership by foreign critics, most notably the President for Life of Mbote, Colonel Banga Boum:

'We shall see how the loyal and dedicated people of Mpangi respond to these wild and unfounded accusations! I have full confidence in the wisdom and gratitude of the Mpangi electorate!

Under the Zubuto constitution, all men over the age of fifty are entitled to register for the ballot, although registration documents and an administration fee are a pre-requisite for entitlement. The administration fee is currently set at Z 34,000,000, approximately US $1,000 USD, while the registration documents have to be completed in Ancient Greek or 'the language of democracy'.

The President later appeared at a rally spontaneously organised by Z.I.P., the political party affiliated to Dr DuDu, at which he pledged to retain his presidential title and strengthen his role as elected leader of the nation. As President for Life of Zubuto, Dr DuDu is entitled to retain his position of power indefinitely, subject to popular mandate and 'in order to ensure stability in the on-going state of emergency' which has been in place since 1956.

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boggler07 May 2016 5:31 a.m. PST

…or it's AK47 at the club next week.

:O)

MacrossMartin07 May 2016 6:08 a.m. PST

I wonder if they play Subbuteo in Zubuto?

kyoteblue07 May 2016 10:00 a.m. PST

The Sultan of Ifat is most concerned .

Personal logo capncarp Supporting Member of TMP22 May 2016 7:40 p.m. PST

The Foreign Office of the Wasabi Protectorate is reassured that Democratic Republic of Zubuto (or is it the Republican Democracy of Zubuto? Is this the third week of the month?) is operating at its normal liberty-(and graft-)loving M.O.
As such, The Protectorate will maintain upon our mutual border the standard customs and immigration patrols, lightly armed with only Self-propelled howitzers, a few battalions of MBTs, overflights of A-1 Skyraiders (loaded with environmentally-friendly napalm and "green" CBUs), and the other usual non-confrontational forces designed to welcome our friends and deter those who haven't been invited.
Note: the Protectorate has temporarily withdrawn the tactical nuclear shells from the operational loadings of the SPH's, due to the unfortunate overeagerness of a Border Unit commander. Our dear neighbors of the Republic of Bongolesia are urged for their own safety to avoid the crater within their border--the one with all those glowing burned-out tanks and APCs around it, and stay clear of the areas downwind in which the vegetation seems to be withering. For about, let's say, at least seven years. And our friends in the Bongolesian Army are urged to avoid a repeat of any similar actions, whose misinterpretation may trigger another such unfortunate response.

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