THE BATTLE OF PALAVER
King Sangria of Spam has finally brought about his "Crusade" against the Emperor of Ikea, the morose monarch, the Nattering Nabob of Negativism (may his camels not be spavined). He has gathered four of the great Sovereigns of the world in this struggle, including Faustus the Grump of Bad Zu Wurst, King Charles of the United Never Neverlands, and Prince Ruffino IX of Swinnland all against the Shah of Ikea. The war has begun over the kidnaping of Princes Trixie of Saxe Burlap und Schleswig Beerstein by that despicable bandito and pirate Dondi Draino, who has delivered her to the Sultan for his Son, Prince Hummus who has fallen head over heels in love with her. The whole will soon be an opera by Moe Zart with Libretto by DelMonte entitled "The Abduction by Dondi Draino." The whole of Christendom has united in the attempt to rescue the fairest flower of womanhood.
The plan was simple. A Bad Zu Wurstian Army and a brigade, carried by a Spamish fleet was to sail for the port of Perla Del Mar where it would attack and draw the Ikean Army South of the Phlegmatic river. Then another Spamish Fleet would sail upriver and land at the small port of Palaver and push inland to attack Panacea, the Ikean capital, while cutting off the Ikean Army. The Army of the Never Neverlands would invade the country elsewhere with the aid of the Swinns. The Swinns would make their attack in the Eastern part of the country.
But things went wrong. The Bad Zu Wurstians were late sailing, and the Never Neverlands brought only an army not an Army and a brigade. Further, the Swinns have shown themselves to be quite immobile until some sort of earnest of gold and silver be delivered by Sangria. The Army and Brigade of the King Sangria was the first to land at Palaver, with no sign of their allies. This allowed the Army of the Nattering Nabob, the Despairing Divan, the obsessive compulsive depressive Ottoman has been promptly led against him by the chief General of the Nabob's Armies, the dashing general Nodoz who suffers no grass to grow on his tones, and is always the taker of the stitch in time, the saver of the penny which earns a pound, and who makes no waste with haste! Meanwhile, The Princess, is enjoying the pampering of Oriental splendor in the harem of Prince Hummus, who is trying by every means possible to get her to fall in love with him, so far to no avail. Pledged to recover the Princess is Prince Paolo of Spam who had gone to the Swinnish court with the similar idea of romancing the flighty Ingenue. Prince Benito, third son of the King of Spam is with the army pledging to do exactly the same thing.
And where is the Saxe-Burlapian Fleet and Army in all this? They are preparing for war under the leadership of the Prince of Zweibak.
BACKGROUND
The campaign battle was formed through the intersections of the various "intents of the sovereigns" given to me the umpire , at the end of the Battle of Fleu-Decoup.
These intersections resulted in three battles being formed. The first, the one of Spam versus Ikea which will be where each side has an Army and a Brigade. An Army consists of five units of Line Infantry, two of Elite (light or Grenadiers, commanders choice) four heavy cavalry, four light cavalry, one dragoon, two heavy and two light guns and five wagons. A brigade is three or four units "of type" and one dragoon, one light gun, and one wagon. The Ikean and Spamish forces will both likely chose an Elite Brigade with three units of elites. For the Ikeans this will be their famed guards, "The Bennenjerries" The other two actions to be fought in future game days, will be an Army and a Brigade of Bad Zu Wurstians against two brigades of Ikeans, and the Army of Never Neverland (he did not specify an army and a brigade) against a single brigade of Ikeans.
The aim of the King of Spam is to break apart the tottering Empire of Ikea and carve out three kingdoms for his three sons.
Strategic implications of the game.
In the game a player has six strategic resources, four brigades, one army, a fortress, and one revival. Armies and Brigades are simply groups of table top units you can use in a battle. You can only have a maximum of two in any one battle. Fortresses are a sort of "Get out of Battle Free" which you can play to hold up one attack so you do not have to face it at unfavorable odds. Ikea has not chosen to fend off one attack with his fortress but is saving it for next turn. The "revival" is used to get back units participating in a battle. Any unit which participates in a battle (army or brigade) cannot be used again in a subsequent turn until "revived." Thus if all of the Ikean units are involved in battles (including fortresses) they can only be revived one per turn, and at this rate, five turns later all will be revived.
Mike Lorenzo, who is playing the King of Spam, is trying to overmatch Ikea by arranging a four or five player pile up on him, forcing him to submit to several battles at unfavorable odds, which if can be won can accrue many victory points to the assailants. Hopefully, in his favor. The degree of victory chits you get in the game , and the superiority over those gained by the enemy go to your strategic total. The person who gets 10 points in the campaign wins. You also gain VP by playing to your King's personality, and role playing. Mike has figured that it will take five turns to revive all the Ikean units, but that he will have several turns to attack Ikea when it is almost defenseless if he has three or four allies, and everyone will be able to get a free 1 D6 roll of Victory points when unopposed.
Unfortunately Mike has chosen to attack a non-player country in the game. Ikea has no player commanding it, which means that the cardboard character of Sha NaNa, works for the GM and the GM controls the country and its responses to the attack. I will probably oppose Mike's Army and a Brigade with an army, and two Brigades to face the Bad Zu Wurstian Attack, and two the attack the Never Neverlands. That will use up all my units. For the FOLLOWING turn, I will be able to revive my army which is the only revival I get, but it is the most powerful unit, and I will have the fortress. The declared enemies, three, will all be able to likewise revive their armies. One of these I can forestall with the fortress, the other I can take on at almost equal with the revived army, and I only have to face one attack unopposed. We shall see how many victory points Mike will be able to chisel from me, or if some other power (two mere not there from the last game) will come to the aid of poor beleaguered Ikea.
THE BATTLE OF PALAVER.
The terrain is shown in the map below. The lower part of the map is a secure flank, formed by the muddy banks of the River Pablum.
I don't have an army proper for this Imagi-Nation yet, so I used that of the Grand Duke of the Grand Duchy of Gorgonzola, which is my army of re-conditioned SAE figures I revived from Brother Otto. I was able by an extreme occurrence of good fortune, to completely equip the Cavalry of the army with some Spencer Smith Plastics I got at Cold Wars. This is exactly the same figures as produced by SAE only being plastic instead. I was unable to resist the temptation to throw them into battle. Thus the army consisted of the following units. For brevity I will omit the facetious names.
The Army consisted of five regiments of line infantry, two regiments of Grenadiers, four heavy guns, four light guns, four regiments of heavy horse, four regiments of light horse, one regiment of dragoons, and five wagons. 11 officers, rated (1#4) (2#3) (3#4) and (5#1's) The first figure is the number, and the second after the number symbol their officer ability.
The Brigade consisted of three regiments of elites, two of them grenadier, one of them light infantry, one regiment of dragoons, one light gun, and one wagon. There were for officers (1#2) and (2#1)
The Empire of Ikea only had an army, and its composition was five regiments of Militia, three regiments of Janissaries (Benenjerries in the parlance of my Imagi-Nation games) four heavy guns, four regiments of heavy Cavalry Horse Archers, four regiments of Light Cavalry Horse Archers, and one regiment of Barbarian ally Horse Archers, one unit of scum (six individual stands of skirmishers) and five wagons.
The battle began with the troops as shown in Map #2, and in red for the Spamish forces, and Yellow for the Ikean forces the major moves on turn 2.
FIRST TURN COMMENTARY
The game began normally, with a draw from the event deck. The card drawn was "Morning Has Broken" which means that the present day of battle ends, and both sides recover in the ensuing night, make minor pull-backs and prepare for a second day of battle. As no combat or movement of any kind had been made I ruled that the two armies had spent the entire day glaring at each other and reconnoitering the enemy positions. The only effect was that each side had to toss in one of their six "Initiative cards." Both turned in their "1" cards which was no surprise. Initiative cards are important as one of the ways in which a battle can end. When both sides are out of such cards the battle is over.
SECOND TURN
As is my habit with these battle reports there is very little "purple prose" to be found. There is nothing to be gained by it and it tells you nothing about the game and how it works which therefore makes it valueless. What is dealt with is how the rules and procedures of the game worked.
This battle showcased two factors in "Oh God! Anything But a Six" that can be significant in the play of the game. The first of course is the placement of "Victory Cards" and the second is off the board movement.
Victory cards are small business sized cards (soon to replaced with colorful dioramas) which denote points or area of "strategic" value on the table top. In the start map these are shown by the little magenta squares with stars in them. Each side gets to place three of these and they may be placed anywhere on the board at the players choice. Each side also has three special units called "camp," "headquarters," and "line of retreat" and can be placed anywhere on the BASELINE of each side. The possession of these is important for at the end of the game whoever has a unit on these gets the Victory card, and each victory card counts for one point. In addition there are "Critical casualty cards" shown by a black flag with a skull and crossbones on it, which are not placed but kept off the side, and awarded to the side which eliminates an enemy unit and rolls a 5 or 6. These also count a point. Unlike the other cards which can change hands several times and are not counted till the end of the last turn, these skull and crossbones cards are part of your score no matter what.
There is a whole strategy of placement of these cards which exercise a subtle but possibly decisive influence on the game. You will notice that the Ikean forces placed all their cards in the lower right part of the board, in fact three of the strategic point cards and the line of retreat card in the same hex. The camp and Headquarters hexes were placed in adjacent hexes, but not so far away as to be of significant distance. As this is "where the Spamish" forces would have to go to gain their victory it was obvious that the Ikean commander, being outnumbered (only an army versus an army and a brigade) was going to concentrate his best troops there and wished to draw the enemy into the killing field of his guns to maximize his best troops. The Spamish commander wanted to minimize having to watch out for these tokens and put them in the opposite corner, but put two strategic point cards in the town of Palaver as a "temptation" to the Ikean left to come out of the woods and try and take them. Had he put them in the rear there would be very little temptation to do so.
The other factor that was showcased in this game is the ability to move off the board. This is rather simple and direct in methodology but quite brutal and drastic in execution. Players utilize it to their advantage as best they can, but all know that it is not always decisive. The procedure is basically the same. You may form a "maneuver" group by designating any number of officers to make the off-the-board movement, and total up their total officer value. Any points over 5 are ignored for the purpose of off the board movement, though players often send many more officers than required to operate tactically with the troops. Any units within one measure (8") of any officer of this group (and the group of officers must be within one measure of each other, may then move "off the board."
The next turn, they are allowed to re-enter the field at any allowable edge hex (in this battle the whole southern or bottom part of the map was secured by the Pablum river and not turnable there)., but ONLY one edge hex wherever they want, on their own side, a flank or even the enemy rear, PROVIDED they can roll less than or equal to the total value of the officers (again up to five, a six is always a fail.). This can be decisive– if the enemy has not guarded his rear with a second line or rear line units, but it can work to their advantage as troops are off the table and sometimes do not arrive at all. Also, having to come on by only ONE hex means that troops can often be "stacked up" on the march and may be just as much out of the battle as if eliminated. In this battle extensive use was made of off the board movement and it yielded some extremely exciting and at times chaotic events which were completely realistic, and so it transpired in this battle.
One note before we march off. The Ikean or Turkish Army is an exception to the campaign rules of OGABAS in that it is not identical to all other armies as is usually the case. To reflect the historical differences the Turkish Army has some differing units. First of all Turkish Cavalry are horse archers, which allows them to use their fire AND charge values in combat (where their enemies must chose one or the other if they have fire at all) . This is in compensation for their low-grade infantry, militia instead of line infantry. They also have a unit of "Barbarian Allies" which are very fierce troops, but only one unit. The Turkish artillery is their chief weakness. It is immobile. In compensation I give it a very long range (6 measures, the guns are huge) and also "organic" guards of Janissaries and fortifications which give it a "charge" or "melee" of 3 as opposed to Artillery's normal 0. I do this because it allows me to make the good looking dioramas of such an artillery position on the field, complete with the swinging mantlet to shield the guns, the spikes in the ground, and the war carts that the Turks typically used to make these bastions on the field. While the guns cannot voluntarily move, if forced to retreat, they retreat normally, but such a retreat is usually equivalent to being out of the battle as they cannot voluntarily move anywhere, having a movement of 0.
In this battle the Ikean commander, John Scheransky spread his guns over the four hexes making a strong fortified line from the south ends of the Woods on his center to the right flank, and behind it ranged his three units of Bennenjerries, and his four units of Spahi Heavy Cavalry. The militia and scum were placed in the woods, the best place for them, and on the right the Light Cavalry and the Barbarian allies, who in this case were represented by Camel mounted cavalry. I filled in to help John till Sean Thorne came a bit late and took over thus freeing me to be an umpire again.
The Spamish forces were commanded by George Deppner and Norm Thime. Seeing the preponderance of Victory tokens in the south, both the critical units and the strategic points, and being no strangers to the game, they realized that they would either have to frontally assault the formidable barrier of guns and entrenchments backed by the flower of the Ikean Army, and screen their left against the miserable light troops in the woods, who would be an extreme danger to them if left alone., or they would have to make a turning movement to circle round and come in on the enemy rear and take the victory tokens from off the board. This would be no easy feat as I said, they would have to come on by one hex only and if they could not get their forces on in more or less one turn, would be defeated in detail. I imagine there was a lot of discussion between them, and so in the end they decided to do both.
John and I for that matter had one plan- namely to huddle and fend off the enemy blows.
George then masterfully handled his army and made two groups for off the board movement. One of his heavy horse, four cuirassiers and two dragoon regiments, and another of his light horse, four hussar regiments. Both successfully moved off the board. He also took the whole of his infantry and artillery line and made a third maneuver group, and rushed down on the Ikean gun position and charged it frontally! Only one unit of infantry moving on its own did not make the move, and on their right, with the Grenadiers and two guns, Norm moved forward to tie down the Ikean right. John made no movement, but I used the opportunity to take the four regiments of Ikean light cavalry and one unit of Barbarian allies in my own off-the board movement group in an attempt to NOT flank the enemy, but find and attack one group, namely his heavy cavalry group which would fall like a sledgehammer on our left if allowed to complete its march. This left Norm's troops in Palaver little to do.
It was at this point that the angel in charge of irony began to take a hand.
While the flanking groups attempted to get around each other, the major combat between he Ikean gun line and the attacking Spamish infantry turned into a pure slaughter. One of the gun positions was pushed back three measures and was largely out of the battle for the rest of the game, one more was eliminated and two Spamish infantry units were also eliminated, one form the gun, and the other when some Ikean SCUM (small skirmishers) were able to swarm out of the woods on its flank. Norm pressed on to attack the north end fo the woods and became involved with a militia unit and some more scum. The field was now VERY open with 15 cavalry units wandering around the countryside and units flying off the table top.
TURN THREE The event cards did not deal kindly with George by giving the Ikeans modest reinforcements of two militia infantry and an officer. This was brought in on the right to push back Norm from the woods and to prevent a tactical outflanking there. Norm decided that with my light cavalry wandering around in the veldt he wanted to guard the town of Palaver and its two victory cards.
Of the situation on the Ikean left it was little more than a mess. The rear ranks of Spahi's and Bennenjerries were battling the remains of the attacking Spamish infantry . Of the troops wandering about, I determined that I wanted my group of light cavalry to intercept the group of George's heavy cavalry. This would be a fight against long odds, but I had to prevent those six regiments of heavy horse from descending on our weakened left. I made the roll. Unfortunately for George he rolled a five to try and get back on the field, but he needed a 1 to a 4. So he was off the table for another turn. We set up my light cavalry and George's heavy on a spare piece of table off to the south of the board to fight out a detached combat between these two.
TURN 3. The Spamish fortunes continued to decline on the left and George LOST the initiative thus turning it over to the Ikean forces. John was able to make one of those spectacular end to end moves and with two regiments of Spahi heavy cavalry and a Bennenjerry unit, sinuously avoid the enemy and get to the upper left hand corner and capture all those victory points there! Of course Norm was soon upon him attempting to regain them.
Meanwhile the left was attempting to mop up the remaining Spamish troops, and send the SCUM and some of the militia to keep the Spamish artillery and some troops retreated from the bloodbath on the left to the center, engaged and tied down.
Action shifted to the off-the board fight between the five units of Ikean light horse and the Barbarian allies against the Cuirassiers and Dragoons of the Spamish. Amazingly! I threw them back and even eliminated a unit. But I could do that only for a turn. At the end of the turn George got his light cavalry into action and confirmed out worst fears, coming in on the shattered remnants of our left.
THE REST OF THE GAME- The only thing of importance happened in "the cavalry battle." George broke off with three of his cuirassier regiments to make another off the board movement in an attempt to get back to his starting area and rescue his camp, headquarters, and Line of retreat, and one strategic location marker. This was frustrated at the next turn, the fourth, when John who had initiative pulled the "LOST" card which meant those forces were unable to get back by battle end. The cavalry action itself began to show it's inevitable result as two of my units were eliminated, which would continue on as they were ground down. Georges light cavalry not only wiped out a unit of Bennenjerries by surrounding it, but captured the Nattering Nabob of Negativism himself.! Not to worry, after the battle they gave him back, having had enough of his endless, morose, self pitying, whining and complaining.
WHO WON
The Ikeans had gained five "critical unit" loss cards the "skull and crossbones" cards, and the Spamish troops had four. Both sides had lost their camp, headquarters, and line of retreat cards. The Spamish though had captured all three of the Ikean Strategic location cards, but the Ikeans has captured only one, so it was 9 for the Ikeans and 10 for the Spamish. The battle was now over.
All parties retired to a wine and spaghetti and meatball and sausage dinner provided by me and copious deserts provided by my guests. Everyone had a great time and were amazed at how the wild swings of fortune had provided an exciting game.
The next battle will be held sometime in June or July, as I have a convention to go to and one to run, and some events with my Civil War Re-enacting unit to attend. This battle will be against longer odds as Sean Thorne will be leading an army and a brigade of Bad Zu Wurst against two Brigades of Ikea. This will be long odds to face.
