The next battle of the War of the Bazoomian Succession will be the "Battle of Palaver." It will be held on April 23rd, Saturday at my place.
King Sangria of Spam has finally brought about his "Crusade" against the Emperor of Ikea, the morose monarch, the Nattering Nabob of Negativism (may his camels not be spavined). He has gathered four of the great Sovereigns of the world in this struggle, including Faustus the Grump of Bad Zu Wurst, King Charles of the United Never Neverlands, and Prince Ruffino IX of Swinnland all against the Shah of Ikea. The war has begun over the kidnapping of Princes Trixie of Saxe Burlap und Schleswig Beerstein by that despicable bandito and pirate Dondi Draino, who has delivered her to the Sultan for his Son, Prince Hummus who has fallen head over heels in love with her. The whole will soon be an opera by Moe Zart with Libretto by DelMonte entitled "The Abduction by Dondi Draino." The whole of Christendom has united in the attempt to rescue the fairest flower of womanhood.
The plan was simple. A Bad Zu Wurtian Army and a brigade, carried by a Spamish fleet was to sail for the port of Perla Del Mar where it would attack and draw the Ikean Army South of the Phelgmatic river. Then the Spamish Fleet would sail upriver and land at the small port of Palaver and push inland to attack Panacea, the Ikean capital, while cutting off the Ikean Army. The Army of the Never Neverlands would invade the country elsewhere with the aid of the Swinns.
But things went wrong. The Bad Zu Wurstians were late sailing, and the Never Neverlands brought only an army not an Army and a brigade. Further the Swinns have shown themselves to be quite immobile until some sort of earnest of gold and silver be delivered by Sangria. The Army and Brigade of the King Sangria is the first to land at Palaver. Meanwhile the Army of the Nattering Nabob, the Despairing Divan, the Obsesssive depressive Ottoman has been promptly led against him by the chief General of the Nabob's Armies, the dashing general Nodoz who suffers no grass to grow on his tones, and is always the taker of the stitch in time, the saver of the penny which earns a pound, and who makes no waste with haste!
The battle will be in largely open terrain on the banks of the wide sluggish Phlegmatic, and consist of an army and a brigade each.
The campaign battle was formed through the intersections of the various "intents of the soviereigns" given to me the umpire , at the end of the Battle of Fleu-Decoup.
These intersections resulted in three battles being formed. The first, the one of Spam versus Ikea which will be where each side has an Army and a Brigade. An Army consists of five units of Line Infnatry, two of Elite (light or Grenadiers, commanders choice) four heavy cavalry, four light cavalry, one dragoon, two heavy and two light guns and five wagons. A brigade is three or four units "of type" and one dragoon, one light gun, and one wagon. The Ikean and Spamish forces will both likely chose an Elite Brigade with three units of elites. For the Ikeans this will be their famed guards, "The Bennenjerries" The other two actions to be fought in future game days, will be an Army and a Brigade of Bad Zu Wurstians against two brigades of Ikeans, and the Army of Never Neverland (he did not specify an army and a brigade) againt a single brigade of Ikeans.
The aim of the King of Spam is to break apart the tottering Empire of Ikea and carve out three kingdoms for his three sons.
Strategic implications of the game.
In the game a player has six strategic resources, four brigades, one army, a fortress, and one revival. Armies and Brigades are simply groups of table top units you can use in a battle. You can only have a maximum of two in any one battle. Fortresses are a sort of "Get out of Battle Free" which you can play to hold up one attack so you do not have to face it at unfavorable odds. Ikea has not chosen to fend off one attack with his fortress but is saving it for next turn. The "revival" is used to get back units participating in a battle. Any unit which participates in a battle (army or brigade) cannot be used again in a subsequent turn until "revived." Thus if all of the Ikean units are involved in battles (including fortresses) they can only be revived one per turn, and at this rate, five turns later all will be revived.
Mike Lorenzo, who is playing the King of Spam, is trying to overmatch Ikea by arranging a four or five player pile up on him, forcing him to submit to several battles at unfavorable odds, which if can be won can accrue many victory points to the assailants. Hopefully, in his favor. The degree of victory chits you get in the game , and the superiority over those gained by the enemy go to your strategic total. The person who gets 10 points in the campaign wins. You also gain VP by playing to your Kings personality, and role playing. Mike has figured that it will take five turns to revive all the Ikean units, but that he will have several turns to attack Ikea when it is almost defenseless if he has three or four allies, and everyone will be able to get a free 1 D6 roll of Victory points when unopposed.
Unfortunately Mike has chosen to attack a non-player country in the game. Ikea has no player commanding it, which means that the cardboard character of Sha NaNa, works for the GM and the GM controls the country and its responses to the attack. I will probably oppose Mike's Army and a Brigade with an army, and two Brigades to face the Bad Zu Wurstian Attack, and two the attack the Never Neverlands. That will use up all my units. For the FOLLOWING turn, I will be able to revive my army which is the only revival I get, but it is the most powerful unit, and I will have the fortress. The declared enemies, three, will all be albe to likewise revive their armies. One of these I can forestall with the fortress, the other I can take on at almost equal with the revived army, and I only have to face one attack unopposed. We shall see how many victory points Mike will be able to chisel from me, or if some other power (two mere not there from the last game) will come to the aid of poor beleaguered Ikea.
