"You're not a real sci-fi wargamer until..." Topic

Well?

You play a sci-fi wargame? Not sure there is a standard here…

When you respond with "Bugs, Mr. Rico. Zillions of em!" without even thinking…

I thought it was…

'Nuke 'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.'

That is after you respond with "Bugs, Mr Rico. Zillions of em!"

You bleed green

You change the lightbulbs over your gaming table to different colors to represent the light of different primary stars.

You post a three-page rant against GW's rules, prices, and business practices.

You paint all 60+ of your original Grenadier miniatures Star Wars Storm Troopers using not less then 12 layers of white paint over 4 layer of light blue washes because it didn't look right otherwise. Yes, I'm pointing at you Dasher.

…You dabbled in at least one of the subcategories under the
"SF Discussion Message Boards" on TMP. So if you tried "VSF," "Weird WWII" or "Zombies" congratulations you're a real deal "Sci-Fi Gamer."

However, simply participating in a demo game at the convention or demo event at a store using other people's miniatures does not qualify.

Also, if you never heard of WH40K, Games Workshop or "Space Marine"(TM) you need to leave our club immediately. You need not have ever played it, however.

If you played SF-themed videogames but never touched a miniature, welcome.

…you think there are "real" SciFi gamers and "poser" SciFi gamers.

Until you have challenged another player to a duel because he claims the jam hadar are cooler then klingons!

You come back from the hardware store with:

4 feet of 4" PVC pipe
2 pounds of 3/4" fender washers
6 various sized electrical boxes
2 gallons of mis-mixed paint that was half price

Your wife asks you 'you're going to fix the kitchen like I asked?'

And you have no clue what she's talking about.

Kyoteblue and Ghostrunner hit the nail on the head.

You can salute like a Vulcan.

I can only do it left handed so am not a proper Sci-Fi gamer.

You have to wear your Klingon suit because your mom is washing your Star fleet academy uniform.

Well I've been playing 15mm sci-fi since the 70s, have over 2000 15mm sci-fi miniatures, in about 10 armies mainly various aliens.

And as for rules probably got about 20 or so just for 15mm sci-fi, mass combat as well as skirmish.

Ghostrunner for the win!

Real scifi gamers have more minis and more different settings than they will ever get around to playing.

…you start watching terrible direct-to-tv scifi movies for scenario ideas.

You flinched when Gunfreak said "jam hadar".

You peek over someone's shoulder at a Gettysburg game and whisper "But where are the Mechs?"

You design Traveller ships from every movie/series/space opera book you've seen and read.

You stat out the ZF-1 for every skirmish and role playing game you have.(you KNOW what a ZF-1 is).

Your Red Shirts' shirts are red because they're covered with the blood of their enemies.

Your Female characters wear Powered Leather Armor.

You cannabalized two dozen 1/35th scale armor kits to kitbash a 28mm Ogre MK V.

You munch on green cupcakes and drink Cherokee Red soda.

You find yourself reading about historical battles, skirmishes, or incidents, and think about how the same scenarios could be morphed into SF games.

Well I am guilty of more than a few of the above posts.

Here is a couple more mundane one:

You've collected and painted more than two human science fictions forces, are considering getting an alien force because it ain't science fiction unless there are aliens, right? But then you can't decide which alien force you want to collect more so you purchase two along with appropriate race specific vehicles.

You collect and game science fiction in at least three scales. Mine are 28 mm, 15 mm and 6 mm. If there is ever enough viable and great looking 20 mm figures I am doomed.

Wait I have to correct some of the above I currently have three human forces, a robotic force (can be kind of alien) a Mircopanzer Valkur force (kind of a Meta Human alien force) and I am looking to do another kind of alien race. Rebel Minis' current sale has me eyeing the Manth again but the Brothers of Thunder look fun as well just for that old 40K not Squats feel. Yes I am a science fiction war gamer.

You look at an April Fools' prank & think "Bruce Campbell would be the greatest Doctor Who ever."

You look at bargin bin toys and think, this would make a great (whatever) for my army.

You watch current event videos of Tanks fighting insurgents in a city and think that would make a great Sci-fi setting.

Yep. Guilty of many of the above. A few more…

You've ridden the sandworm.

You think a company of Zhodani drop troops is a 'good start'.

You've used meson guns in a tactical infantry battle.

You buy figures from Rebel Miniatures because they should make good brown coats.

You've got Matchbox toys still in blister pack because they'll be perfect for that scenario your going to do…some day.

You can recite the rules for 'damage effects of nuclear weapons' from your favorite rules.

And of course, your favorite rules HAVE rules for nuclear weapons.

…until you've actually USED the rules for nukes (and/or biochemical weapons) in said games.

…until you've had an argument about the front armor plating thickness on an AT-ST.

…until you've engaged in at least one cross-genre 'who would win' argument, then played it out on the tabletop.

… everything is assessed for its potential to become a starship.

Everything.

…you've run an entire D&D campaign set in a desert where most inhabitants have eyes that are completely blue, and talk in hushed tones about what lives in the deep desert.

…you've increased your Hot Wheels & Matchbox collection ten-fold since Mad Max: Fury Road came out.

…you've repurposed your kids' Tonkas after Avatar came out.

…your customized Delorean has made the occasional visit to a friend's model railroad set in 1957.

… you have learned a half dozen other skills to support your hobby.

You have a chip implanted in your brain to speed up data transfer time between you and your devices.

You look at Atomic Floozy's post and think "No, Bruce Campbell would have been the best Karl Kolchak ever…."

…you buy shampoo or dish soap because "I can make an awesome dropship/tramp freighter/shuttle out of that bottle" and then add it to the two dozen other bottles that are not yet ships that you already have…

You're not a real scifi gamer until you have at least once said "aw come on, that's not even near realistic" when referring to some exotic effect or weapon result…

… you've recalculated the gravitational constant of the Universe so that it works with the hex scale of your homebrew vector-based near-future space combat game.
… and you were inspired to do so by Q's line in an ST:TNG episode.

"… and you were inspired to do so by Q's line in an ST:TNG episode."

Which doesn't even USE vector based space combat but you were inspired by it anyway :)

I think Darkest Star may be onto something. Good to know I'm not the only one doing that.

You:

- have the vehicles and are working on the other items to create your very own spaceport;

- you have plans to create, or have already created the interior of a large spaceship, for gaming in 1/100th, or larger scales, for a boarding-action style game;

- have sculpted your own Sci-Fi miniatures range, or had someone do that for you, and put them into production;

- have purchased enough forces to conduct a planetary assault at the tactical level, on the tabletop;

- post pics of childrens' toys that you think would make great Dropships, and of Matchbox vehicles that have a futuristic or utilitarian look to them that might be useful with 15mm minis;

- recycle lots of ordinary, everyday, containers to use as buildings, bunkers, other structures, or cargo;

- you worry about how to protect your ground forces from nuclear weapons and orbital bombardments;

- and, you've spent at least a year or two, fantasizing about that mega-game you want to put on eventually, at the club or convention, using all of the above, once you find the right set of rules to permit that.

Your STILL looking for a good set of ship combat rules for your Traveller LBB group.

Every now and then you bring out your Gamma World rules and try to work up a mod or two,

You drag out the large heavy box of Ogre mins and think Some day someone will play me.

You remember when Star Fleet battles was 2 boxes and 3 expansions…and that was it.

Hmm…guilty of all of the above…not good…

Ha!

I bought the Ogre "game" decades ago, and paid a for then, pretty hefty price for it.

Opened it up, saw there was little in the overly large box, and took it back to the retailer, who eventually gave me a refund. He did try to convince me it was a good game, but there seemed to be little to the rules, if I recall correctly, and most of the minis, which weren't included in the boxed game, were way over-priced, in my opinion. I think the boxed rules included some cardboard counters.

One of the best moves I ever made, I think.

I did like the resin defense turrets and radar dishes though. Those were pretty neat, and useful to go with the other, much more reasonably priced 6mm grav vehicles from GZG, and the Future Wars ranges.

Yea, I'm still looking for a decent set of ship combat rules for Traveller as well.

Well, Ad Astra just did a Kick Starter for a Traveller ship combat game.

<sobbing> It's TRUE! IT'S TRUE! It's all true…..

Can the 'powered leather armor' look like Big Barda's red bikini?
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P.S. I really wish I knew how to include a picture of Big Barda.
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.P.P.S. Does referencing Big Barda qualify me as a sci-fi wargamer if I create her character stats in SuperSystem Rules? Or in Champions?

Or am I just kinda creepy?-;^))

yeah, I've done a lot of those things

You've played ground battles and spaceship combat on the same day, set in the same campaign setting, and the same war.

Done that with BattleTech and Renegade Legion. :-)

MacrossMartin, that is a magnificent beast – ties in with the drive assembly from CJ Cherryh's books, too!

As to the question : you know you're an SF gamer when you hear the phrases "Sad that they let them out on their own, eh?" or "Don't make eye contact – he may attack!" said by historical players watching your game at conventions.

Your sci-fi collection is the only one you can field an 'accurate' TOE of fully painted miniatures with?