"Confess your gaming crimes" Topic

I cannot go on any longer. It has been eating at my heart and soul every day since it happened. My life is now full of darkness and misery. I constantly roll low when gaming, my so-called elite troops are easily defeated by untried militia units and the standard formation for my units is now either shaken or disordered.

I need, indeed I must, confess my gaming crimes so that perhaps somehow my life can return to how it was before The Incident.

It was a usual gaming day and I was putting on a late-WWI game. I had all the British troops assembled to take to the game. The sun was shining and the birds were singing. But then I noticed I was missing a couple of stands. I thought little of it whilst I went to look for the missing troops. Nope, none in this box, or the next one. A flicker of panic went through my mind, which increased in intensity as each box I looked in yielded no late war British troops.

Time was passing. Indeed time was passing quickly, each minute left like a second. Check here, check there – but still no steel helmeted Tommies were located. What to do? What to do? Then I saw them in the corner of a box, the exact number of stands that I needed. But could I do it? Of course, what did it matter after all?

I took the stands, without a second thought. But then it happened, first the nausea then the trembles and the knotted stomach. I thought I could cope as I set up the table. My head throbbed as the game progressed. No one mentioned, or noticed what I had done. Surely they must see what had happened? Perhaps they were just being polite or just had pity for me.

Then it happened, my worst fears made real for all to see. Those of a gentle disposition should look away now. One of the players said (oh how often I relive this in my head), ‘I see you are using a couple of stands early war Brits…' . He said the comment in a it-doesn't-bother-me-that-you-have-done-this kind of way, and none of the other players said anything as they were too involved in the game. But I knew. I knew.

Yes, dear reader, I could not find any late war British to make up my deficit, so instead turned to using early war British. Oh, the humility of it all.

Please forgive me, I beg you. I hope that by opening up my soul to you that others will come forward to also confess their crimes in the hope that we all find forgiveness from the greater TMP community.

Have you ever used a Panzer III F instead of Panzer III G in a micro-armour game? Then confess.

Was the blue of your 1805 French uniforms painted a shade that was only generally available between March and May of 1812? Then confess.

Does the shade of dirt under the fingernails of your legions at Cannae not match the shade of the dirt found on artefacts discovered by archaeologists digging at the site of the battle? Then confess.

Confess your gaming crimes.

My advice, don't worry about it. Easily explained, couldn't find them.

Gaming confession, many years ago one chap in our group was new then, we were playing a game of Armati. His light cavalry was within charge range of my heavy cavalry.
I really should have told him as he did not know that his lights would get slaughtered by my heavies. He didn't remember the evade rule. So when we rolled off to see who moved first, I won and crushed his lights. He was out of the game in two turns.
I felt bad as I really should have reminded him of the evade rule, so the game would last longer.
Subsequently he has thumped me a few times to make up for it.

I barely distinguish between marks of Pz III and only bother distinguishing Japanese and US WWII destroyers by the number of stacks. :)

Okay, so I ran a Renaissance game Poles vs Turks, and was short a unit of Turkish Sipahis. Soooo I used a unit of Sikh Heavy cavalry from the 19thc as a filler. None of the guys playing were noticed, but I knew the shame.

I have used the 64th Regiment as a substitute for the 2nd battalion of Guards at Guilford Courthouse.
Not just once but several times!

Don't you know? I'm the only innocent man in here.

I've used early for late. T34 85's as T34 76s. Used Russians to fill in for Austrians. Used uniforms 10 years before and 10 years after they were correct. Wrote a rule set where all rifles are the same. Wrote a rule set that had no morale rules of any kind. Once played 40k in 15mm.

Come and get me coppers, you'll never take me alive!

I have, more than once.used my Arab and Turcopole cavalry across several centuries indiscriminately as both Crusader and Saracen/Syrian/Ayubid troops.

They are very confused and their behavior regardless of side is erratic.

I used a T-Rex model and used it for an OGRE mk V.

I collect generic Germans, AWI and ACW armies -- they are good for any year/front/theater -- and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

When playing the original TSaTF I would regularly use Airfix WWI German Infantry for British and Airfix British Ancient Infantry for Zulus.

I use my white coated napoleonic Austrians to stand in for Spanish, repeatedly. Can't bring myself to paint Spanish.

I once beat a rules lawyer to death with a bag of dice. Oh yeah worse than that I used a Union 15mm rifleman in a kepi to finish a CSA unit out because I was short a figure, The CSA guys were in Kepi also. I am not an Animal.

I have the opposite confession.
When painting an ancient British/ Gallic army I got fed up with painting genuine ancient Brit shield designs, and gave one stand a beastie boys treatment. One of them has a round shield with a blue and white BMW quartering, one has a Mercedes badge on his shield, one has a Volkswagen badge and one a Toyota. No one has ever noticed in a game and queried them.

I am building a Japanese Colonial force using 15th century Ashigaru and Samurai. Totally unhistorical. I checked with the club before I did it, they were all in favor of it.

I will be using Perry Brothers plastic ACW Zouaves as Franco-Prussian War Zouaves.

I have built a Hoplite Greek DBA army and am building an Early Libyan DBA army using amazons, based on sketchy at best evidence.

I used the same color of paint for both a WH40K army and the terrain, thereby giving myself a homefield camouflage advantage.

I am sure there are more…

I can't bear to look at any of you

Okay, I'll confess… I was young, inexperienced and the Hinchcliffe Hoplites were so beautiful. I some paints – had flesh and metal and brown but my only other colour was WWII US Marine Corp Green.

Yes, I fielded a units of Hoplites painted up as US Marines, complete with large white stars on their shields.

Oh, the shame…

I was young, I needed the money…

Dear Ezza

I do 18th Century Imagi-Nations.

I use 17th Century Polish Winged Hussars in my Gulagian (Russian) Army of 1750, and Napoleonic Chasseurs a Cheval of the Guard as Hussars in my 1750 army of Saxe Burlap und Schleswig Beerstein). British Crimean Hussars wind up in the Flounce (French) army and Mohawks wind up as he Mackattack Indians in Central Germany, and Japanese Samurai wind up as opponents of them in the Bad Zu Wurstian Army.

I have no sense of shame. I wasn't using it so I sold it long ago.

Otto

I recently used FPW French as 1880 Chileans, 1866 Austrians as Bolivians and ACW Confederates as Peruvians. You'll get no sympathy from me.

I was short of one figure for a 28mm western gunfight game once so I substituted with a Predator. That made for an interesting game

In most of the periods we are playing we never substitute for lack of figures. If we do, it's a siren call to buy more because we obviously need them. We have no shame though so it doesn't actually bother us.

Nope, can't think of a single game that I haven't used something "inappropriate" to fill in. I'm a sinner through and through….

Keeping my minis in solitary confinement, unprepped, unpainted, and unused, for so long.

Contemplating using T-72s as stand-ins for T-64s, and T-54s as stand-ins for T-55s (really, just pretty much a stowage arrangement difference on these minis, since they have the gun barrel evacuator of the T-55s, IIRC) and T-62s.

I bought one figure. It was the gateway. 30,000 more later and counting. Is this thread going to lead to a twelve step program?

I have painted "Confederates in Slouch Hats" as Union and "Union in Kepis" as Confederates.

One of my gaming partners has a couple of stands in his Tactica Celts that when deployed the shields spell out "Rome Sucks".

I have done the most appalling substitutions, including using 1815 Prussians as French, often using early and late war British and German figures together for WW1 (hey, the Brita were still issued caps in 1918), and my long suffering Bavarians have stood in for ever German minor state you can imagine.

In my Cambrai game, we didn't have enough 20mm stuff, so did the northern two divisions with 15mm. It looked OK as the troops were "further away".

My Gauls get used as any and all "barbarians" and I've even used WW2 British as Americans. Yes, I have even used Pz IIIg as Pz IIIs, but I wouldn't use a Lang as a Kurz.

Okay, so I ran a Renaissance game Poles vs Turks, and was short a unit of Turkish Sipahis. Soooo I used a unit of Sikh Heavy cavalry from the 19thc as a filler. None of the guys playing were noticed, but I knew the shame.

In my distant youth I recall many articles in the glossies regarding this practice – the chase to find what troops (or even better what army) could be used over the widest time period (if you squinted just a bit).

I wasn't there, nobody saw me, you can't prove it. A big boy did it and ran away.

Now that was creative & funny.

I am surrounded by the lawless…"not enough for that unit, well, we'll use proxies then". "We'll proxy that" is a common phrase in that group and….worst of all….it doesn't bother them! It doesn't motivate them to complete units properly or prompt them to paint up boring or unglamorous units…they're always distracted by the new and shiny so we're always using proxies somewhere in a game; shamelessly so. And I watch on, not saying a word.

I have to commend the OP,

This is one fun thread!!

Note: I have on several occasions used whatever red I had to hand instead of British Scarlet. The shame, oh the shame.

I have used Austrian Napoleonic artillery batteries as French ones.
Also Austrian command stands for French.
My bricole was on backwards at the time.
Walks away in shame….

I paint figures in the nude.

I used a T-Rex model and used it for an OGRE mk V.

Thanks. I'm doing that tomorrow.

I paint figures in the nude.

"And that, my dear, is why it's green and red and blue…"

David Manley,

Using a Predator in a western gunfight game? That sounds like a fun idea…hey…wait a minute. A fun game, no I mean that is the work of a heretic and a confirmed deviant!

May you be thrown onto the Lead Mountain of Damnation, where for every figure you paint they replaced by two unpainted ones. Also the paints that you use on these figures will never match the colours used historically.

Ezza

I paint using colours not available till the 19th century!

Well done David. I used a Predator in a Mogadishu game once, though that one was deliberate.

I have a Panther painted for North Africa…and I've played it.

Is that a "What if" or an "if only"…..

We play tested Martian Empires rules, before ?I had the figures ready with Ecw vs Napoleonics….

Mike

I painted variant White Hands on the shields of my Isengard army – peace sign, middle finger… (and the figures were Airfix Britons; this was 40 or so years ago…)

A tank is a tank at our table, as long as the size is roughly where it ought to be.

Oh, I just remembered.. for one game of 40K, I used 1/72 scale plastic WW1 Germans to stand in for my Ratling snipers.

I knowingly use Command Decision 15mm 'Sherman IIc Fireflies', even though no such thing existed in reality.

It feels dirty, but it feels good…

I painted the Red Lancers with green coats. Mind you, I'm converting them to another {fictional) regiment.

I once used a unit that had only been primered, not painted.

I used MARX vikings to proxy as Hill Giants and Frost Giants.

I go with men that I sometimes can't stand the site of just to roll dice. I am a gaming . Filthy dirty gaming ….and I like it.