Help support TMP


"Hiding purchases from your spouse" Topic


40 Posts

All members in good standing are free to post here. Opinions expressed here are solely those of the posters, and have not been cleared with nor are they endorsed by The Miniatures Page.

For more information, see the TMP FAQ.


Back to the Wargaming Spouses Message Board



1,723 hits since 1 Oct 2015
©1994-2017 Bill Armintrout
Comments or corrections?

Sevastopol01 Oct 2015 6:48 p.m. PST

Hiya,

Someone posted s thread a little while ago about hiding new purchases from your spouse. I've had to do this and I would rather not have to, but sometimes it's not worth the hassle/argument of trying to explain why you need to keep buying more soldiers. For me it's a matter of trying to complete certain ranges. Anyone have this experience from time to time?

Random Die Roll Supporting Member of TMP01 Oct 2015 7:00 p.m. PST

I think anyone that has a "non gaming" spouse has experienced this from time to time.

Wait, is this a public phone….Crank Call, Crank Call……stolen from Pulp Fiction LOL

Major General Stanley01 Oct 2015 7:01 p.m. PST

Don't hide them, you'll get caught. Pay half with credit or debit and pay cash for the other half. That way they look so much cheaper and budget friendly: way cheaper than golf, etc.

Wretched Peasant Scum01 Oct 2015 7:10 p.m. PST

Don't worry about it. She's probably hiding things from you, too.

Personal logo Coyotepunc and Hatshepsuut Supporting Member of TMP01 Oct 2015 7:11 p.m. PST

I gave up on trying to hide my spending a long time ago. My wife is actively supportive of my hobbies, and if we have a little extra and can afford something for me, I discuss it with her beforehand. I *could* easily hide it, as I handle all of our finances, but I got tired of sneaking a while ago.

Personal logo John the OFM Supporting Member of TMP01 Oct 2015 7:26 p.m. PST

Don't worry about it. She's probably hiding things from you, too.

Thye key to a happy marriage.

Sevastopol01 Oct 2015 7:29 p.m. PST

My wife is supportive of my hobby it's just that since we are now both retired she's more budget conscious – which I totally understand.

I only buy plastic figs so the cost isn't great (except for the shipping on occasion). Just need to fill in a few gaps. Oh, and buy more Perry ACW. Now those will cost a bit.

Trying to justify the need is where it gets dicey..

Skeets Supporting Member of TMP01 Oct 2015 7:39 p.m. PST

My wife has always supported me in my hobby. In fact, to get me to quite smoking she told me I could spend whatever I felt was necessary each month as long as I no longer smoked. I haven't smoked for over 25 years now.

Psycho Rabbit Inactive Member01 Oct 2015 7:45 p.m. PST

I only hide my girlfriends from my wife.

Sevastopol01 Oct 2015 7:48 p.m. PST

She thinks I'm going to build these huge unwieldy dioramas but I tell her that I'm going to play wargames with them. All I will need is table space.
Hardly have the space for a proper wargames setup let alone dioramas..

WeeSparky01 Oct 2015 8:08 p.m. PST

It is easier to hide them from your spouse than it is to hide them from her divorce lawyer.

McWong7301 Oct 2015 8:13 p.m. PST

As long as all the bills are paid and you're not eating into family savings, then hide away. Whatever keeps her happy, that is until you are caught out.

Syrinx001 Oct 2015 8:19 p.m. PST

I have never hidden purchases. Over the decades, I have shipped a lot of my terrain purchases to my friends house direct as our gaming club is his basement. Caused a bit of consternation one day when it was casually mentioned a few of the shelves in the one room were actually filled with my stuff. The money was ok but the thought I might bring all my stuff home one day was a bit daunting.

Toaster01 Oct 2015 8:29 p.m. PST

I've been painting some GHQ ships for a friend, offered to drop them off while I was in his neighbourhood last week and he begged me not to so as not to get him in trouble.

As for myself not at all, but then my wife is a model maker and occasional gamer so she tends more towards the enabler end of the spectrum.

Robert

evilgong Supporting Member of TMP01 Oct 2015 8:29 p.m. PST

I have had customers ask that orders be sent to a safe house to avoid wifely view.

David F Brown

Personal logo Rrobbyrobot Supporting Member of TMP01 Oct 2015 8:51 p.m. PST

I don't hide much of anything from my wife. Kind of a dumb thing to do. She'll know about it sooner or later anyway. Better to be open and above board.
For me, it helps that my wife does a bit of gaming herself. Also, she collects action figures. When she complains about my miniatures purchases I remind her of the time I shelled out $500.00 USD for her collection all at once. Then there's the year I didn't buy any miniatures. My wife thought I'd never finish painting all my figures. Well, I did inside of four months. She never says much about that anymore. Except to marvel at how I get through so much.
She actually likes my hobby. It's better than having a husband as hits the bars and such…

sillypoint01 Oct 2015 8:52 p.m. PST

Budget.

Mako11 Supporting Member of TMP Inactive Member01 Oct 2015 9:00 p.m. PST

Man up.

There are far more expensive, and/or worse things you could be spending your money on.

If necessary, pull out the nuclear option defense, and threaten to inventory and appraise her shoe collection.

;-)

Mako11 Supporting Member of TMP Inactive Member01 Oct 2015 9:01 p.m. PST

Of course, that advice comes from a single male, so……

Striker01 Oct 2015 9:03 p.m. PST

Never had to hide stuff but then again I bounce ideas off her so she has a vibe on what I'm getting and how much I'll be spending. Anyway the kid would rat me out.

Personal logo Extra Crispy Sponsoring Member of TMP01 Oct 2015 9:19 p.m. PST

Never had to…

Personal logo Doctor X Supporting Member of TMP01 Oct 2015 9:31 p.m. PST

Never.
I am an adult.
I make and take responsibility for my actions.

Martin Rapier01 Oct 2015 11:08 p.m. PST

As the study is full of books, toy soldiers, uniforms, webbing, boots and guns, it is kind of hard to hide stuff. We split our money 50:50, it is up to each of us what we do with it. She buys a lot of shoes and bags:)

Some Chicken01 Oct 2015 11:50 p.m. PST

Confession is good for the soul.

frostydog02 Oct 2015 2:32 a.m. PST

If I am painting and gaming I am not at pub or gambling.

zippyfusenet Inactive Member02 Oct 2015 5:00 a.m. PST

She doesn't care. She earns and so do I. She spends and so do I.

davbenbak Supporting Member of TMP02 Oct 2015 5:38 a.m. PST

My wife is a big time sale/clearance shopper so usually all I have to do is mention that there is some kind of savings like "clearance", "free shipping" or the occasional 20% off at Michigan Toy Co. and she URGE me to buy now.

79thPA Supporting Member of TMP02 Oct 2015 5:43 a.m. PST

I had a buddy who used to sneak his stuff into the basement. I did not. She had things she wanted to collect, and I had things I wanted to collect. As long as the extra money is there, it is not an issue. Ask her if she rather you spend the money on women and booze, or toy soldiers.

Andy Skinner Supporting Member of TMP02 Oct 2015 7:40 a.m. PST

I sure value honesty in my relationship with my wife way more than the sum total of all my hobby.

We've both got budgets. Budgets are great. They may limit spending in some ways, but they also free it up. If after the necessaries are taken care of you can budget for fun, you're free to spend what is budgeted.

andy

Dynaman878902 Oct 2015 9:22 a.m. PST

No, I have a budget! and sometimes stick to it…

Gonsalvo02 Oct 2015 9:38 a.m. PST

Not a good idea to hide purchases from your wife. If necessary, establish a reasonable budget.

Married x 33+ years

Over 10,0000 28mm figures, of which maybe 1500 came with me into the marriage! :-)

45thdiv02 Oct 2015 5:20 p.m. PST

Never had to. My wife games and wants better looking terrain and props for the games. If it's a very large purchase, we talk it over. I also tend to purge old projects and that money goves back into the hobby.

Personal logo capncarp Supporting Member of TMP05 Oct 2015 5:50 p.m. PST

Sevastopol:
Easy--do some recon on her favorite jewelry stones, styles, and metals. Then hit channels like Jewelry TV or Liwuidation Channel, where jewelry is sold at close to wholesale prices.
When you order something for yourself, chek the online specials or auctions for some shiny for the lady.

uglyfatbloke Supporting Member of TMP20 Dec 2015 6:41 a.m. PST

Never need to hide anything – my better half has more wargame figures than I do and did n't blink when I bought a ton of John Lander's wonderful WW2 54mm collection. OTH, I have noticed that she now refers to part of the collection as being 'her Germans'and the other part as being 'his British'.

Ottoathome27 Dec 2015 11:59 a.m. PST

I advise you to take the matter head on.

Simply bring it in and if she grouses about it, say "Honey, if you ever want to demand that I chose between war games and you, I can assure you that the answer will not be long forthcoming.

My wife once asked me playfully "Honey what would you say if I ever said it was me or war games." She must have seen something in my face because she said "No-- don't answer!"

pbishop1214 Oct 2016 5:21 p.m. PST

My ex indulged my hobby. My current spouse quite frankly doesn't get it. When I introduced her to my hobby years ago, she thought it was cute. I guess she didn't take me or the hobby seriously.

At 66, I prefer to game more than the collecting and painting. I have about 200 unpainted figures that I'll probably send off for painting. My wife thinks its exorbitant, but considering my purchasing is now almost zero, I'll treat myself anyway.

But when I ok'd her desire for the built in swimming pool that I didn't want…. well, I didn't win that one.

bobm195903 Mar 2017 5:05 p.m. PST

Why would someone who loves you ever quibble over your interests and hobbies?

uglyfatbloke Supporting Member of TMP16 Mar 2017 9:50 a.m. PST

Because they don't see any need for you to ever get more federals but is keenly aware that she should have a lot more confederates?

Glencairn23 Mar 2017 5:14 a.m. PST

Quite right bobm 1959..anyway, I buy in smallish amounts, thaat way it doesnt seem so much to anyone, self included!!

Poniatowski Supporting Member of TMP19 Apr 2017 8:36 a.m. PST

I was pretty sure I posted in this before…..
Well.. I used to hide my purchases, but then I realized, on par…. I make more money selling my used stuff than I spend on new stuff…. mostly because of the finished product…. not counting paints and hours invested that is….

My wife doesn't like that I spend any money on the hobby because she sees how much stuff I have already that isn't painted, etc….. she doesn't get it…

In the end it is more of a don't ask, don't tell policy…. she knows I shop for deals and rarely pay full price/retail… and she knows full well that I sell enough to keep myself invested and have spare cash for the hobby, so we never "lose" money in any of my ventures…

She just doesn't like the piles of unfinished stuff I have.. she doesn't get how that pile can grow without actually losing money…. it defies logic to her.. she doesn't get that the finished product sells for more than the unfinished…..

Sorry - only verified members can post on the forums.