"Hiding purchases from your spouse" Topic

Hiya,

Someone posted s thread a little while ago about hiding new purchases from your spouse. I've had to do this and I would rather not have to, but sometimes it's not worth the hassle/argument of trying to explain why you need to keep buying more soldiers. For me it's a matter of trying to complete certain ranges. Anyone have this experience from time to time?

I think anyone that has a "non gaming" spouse has experienced this from time to time.

Wait, is this a public phone….Crank Call, Crank Call……stolen from Pulp Fiction LOL

Don't hide them, you'll get caught. Pay half with credit or debit and pay cash for the other half. That way they look so much cheaper and budget friendly: way cheaper than golf, etc.

Don't worry about it. She's probably hiding things from you, too.

I gave up on trying to hide my spending a long time ago. My wife is actively supportive of my hobbies, and if we have a little extra and can afford something for me, I discuss it with her beforehand. I *could* easily hide it, as I handle all of our finances, but I got tired of sneaking a while ago.

Don't worry about it. She's probably hiding things from you, too.

Thye key to a happy marriage.

My wife is supportive of my hobby it's just that since we are now both retired she's more budget conscious – which I totally understand.

I only buy plastic figs so the cost isn't great (except for the shipping on occasion). Just need to fill in a few gaps. Oh, and buy more Perry ACW. Now those will cost a bit.

Trying to justify the need is where it gets dicey..

My wife has always supported me in my hobby. In fact, to get me to quite smoking she told me I could spend whatever I felt was necessary each month as long as I no longer smoked. I haven't smoked for over 25 years now.

I only hide my girlfriends from my wife.

She thinks I'm going to build these huge unwieldy dioramas but I tell her that I'm going to play wargames with them. All I will need is table space.
Hardly have the space for a proper wargames setup let alone dioramas..

It is easier to hide them from your spouse than it is to hide them from her divorce lawyer.

As long as all the bills are paid and you're not eating into family savings, then hide away. Whatever keeps her happy, that is until you are caught out.

I have never hidden purchases. Over the decades, I have shipped a lot of my terrain purchases to my friends house direct as our gaming club is his basement. Caused a bit of consternation one day when it was casually mentioned a few of the shelves in the one room were actually filled with my stuff. The money was ok but the thought I might bring all my stuff home one day was a bit daunting.

I've been painting some GHQ ships for a friend, offered to drop them off while I was in his neighbourhood last week and he begged me not to so as not to get him in trouble.

As for myself not at all, but then my wife is a model maker and occasional gamer so she tends more towards the enabler end of the spectrum.

Robert

I have had customers ask that orders be sent to a safe house to avoid wifely view.

David F Brown

I don't hide much of anything from my wife. Kind of a dumb thing to do. She'll know about it sooner or later anyway. Better to be open and above board.
For me, it helps that my wife does a bit of gaming herself. Also, she collects action figures. When she complains about my miniatures purchases I remind her of the time I shelled out $500.00 USD for her collection all at once. Then there's the year I didn't buy any miniatures. My wife thought I'd never finish painting all my figures. Well, I did inside of four months. She never says much about that anymore. Except to marvel at how I get through so much.
She actually likes my hobby. It's better than having a husband as hits the bars and such…

Budget.

Man up.

There are far more expensive, and/or worse things you could be spending your money on.

If necessary, pull out the nuclear option defense, and threaten to inventory and appraise her shoe collection.

;-)

Of course, that advice comes from a single male, so……

Never had to hide stuff but then again I bounce ideas off her so she has a vibe on what I'm getting and how much I'll be spending. Anyway the kid would rat me out.

Never had to…

Never.
I am an adult.
I make and take responsibility for my actions.

As the study is full of books, toy soldiers, uniforms, webbing, boots and guns, it is kind of hard to hide stuff. We split our money 50:50, it is up to each of us what we do with it. She buys a lot of shoes and bags:)

Confession is good for the soul.

If I am painting and gaming I am not at pub or gambling.

She doesn't care. She earns and so do I. She spends and so do I.

My wife is a big time sale/clearance shopper so usually all I have to do is mention that there is some kind of savings like "clearance", "free shipping" or the occasional 20% off at Michigan Toy Co. and she URGE me to buy now.

I had a buddy who used to sneak his stuff into the basement. I did not. She had things she wanted to collect, and I had things I wanted to collect. As long as the extra money is there, it is not an issue. Ask her if she rather you spend the money on women and booze, or toy soldiers.

I sure value honesty in my relationship with my wife way more than the sum total of all my hobby.

We've both got budgets. Budgets are great. They may limit spending in some ways, but they also free it up. If after the necessaries are taken care of you can budget for fun, you're free to spend what is budgeted.

andy

No, I have a budget! and sometimes stick to it…

Not a good idea to hide purchases from your wife. If necessary, establish a reasonable budget.

Married x 33+ years

Over 10,0000 28mm figures, of which maybe 1500 came with me into the marriage! :-)

Never had to. My wife games and wants better looking terrain and props for the games. If it's a very large purchase, we talk it over. I also tend to purge old projects and that money goves back into the hobby.

Sevastopol:
Easy--do some recon on her favorite jewelry stones, styles, and metals. Then hit channels like Jewelry TV or Liwuidation Channel, where jewelry is sold at close to wholesale prices.
When you order something for yourself, chek the online specials or auctions for some shiny for the lady.

Never need to hide anything – my better half has more wargame figures than I do and did n't blink when I bought a ton of John Lander's wonderful WW2 54mm collection. OTH, I have noticed that she now refers to part of the collection as being 'her Germans'and the other part as being 'his British'.

I advise you to take the matter head on.

Simply bring it in and if she grouses about it, say "Honey, if you ever want to demand that I chose between war games and you, I can assure you that the answer will not be long forthcoming.

My wife once asked me playfully "Honey what would you say if I ever said it was me or war games." She must have seen something in my face because she said "No-- don't answer!"

My ex indulged my hobby. My current spouse quite frankly doesn't get it. When I introduced her to my hobby years ago, she thought it was cute. I guess she didn't take me or the hobby seriously.

At 66, I prefer to game more than the collecting and painting. I have about 200 unpainted figures that I'll probably send off for painting. My wife thinks its exorbitant, but considering my purchasing is now almost zero, I'll treat myself anyway.

But when I ok'd her desire for the built in swimming pool that I didn't want…. well, I didn't win that one.

Why would someone who loves you ever quibble over your interests and hobbies?

Because they don't see any need for you to ever get more federals but is keenly aware that she should have a lot more confederates?

Quite right bobm 1959..anyway, I buy in smallish amounts, thaat way it doesnt seem so much to anyone, self included!!

I was pretty sure I posted in this before…..
Well.. I used to hide my purchases, but then I realized, on par…. I make more money selling my used stuff than I spend on new stuff…. mostly because of the finished product…. not counting paints and hours invested that is….

My wife doesn't like that I spend any money on the hobby because she sees how much stuff I have already that isn't painted, etc….. she doesn't get it…

In the end it is more of a don't ask, don't tell policy…. she knows I shop for deals and rarely pay full price/retail… and she knows full well that I sell enough to keep myself invested and have spare cash for the hobby, so we never "lose" money in any of my ventures…

She just doesn't like the piles of unfinished stuff I have.. she doesn't get how that pile can grow without actually losing money…. it defies logic to her.. she doesn't get that the finished product sells for more than the unfinished…..

I solved the problem by forming a business and selling both painted figures and supplie. I go to two cons a year and the business pays for con costs and anything I may buy during the year. I never touch our money unless my wife goes, then I use our money for food expenses.

Simply bring it in and if she grouses about it, say "Honey, if you ever want to demand that I chose between war games and you, I can assure you that the answer will not be long forthcoming.

One girl actually made this demand of me many years ago- we'd only been seeing each other a couple of months and suddenly "Its either me or the toys!"

I think she was genuinely suprised by my choice…

The lass I married is a much better choice! Total enabler happy to fund my hobbies, and makes sure her relatives do too!

Herself is OK with it,and I do explain what I got,to her. She still wonders why,but I do try to be on the level w/her.

Simply use the 2 week rule. Keep them out of sight for 2 weeks, 3 if possible, then when the SWMBO finds them you simply say, "Oh, that, I've had that for some time now."

This works. Come home and complain that a guy you know and sometimes went out with to ball games has just gotten divorced. It seems that he met a young floozie when out on the town and things went on from there. Tell the wife that you are glad that you spend so much time buying and painting your figures, so you don't have time to get in trouble. She will begin showing you great deals on odd figure lots on eBAY.

Oooo, devious, but TRUE!!

von Schwartz – I've done that more than once!

I probably have at some point. I gave up once my income exceeded hers. MY income buys the cars, pays the mortgage, pays utilities and bills and fund s the college kid. Also funds retirement and vacations. Since there is a surplus after all that, why should I?

Does she complain? Always. Does she have any idea how many models I have? Nope. Is she really pissed about the 9 packages of gaming stuff I received while deployed? Very.

Fascinating responses. A lot of interesting dynamics at play.

Relationship integrity apart, after 22 years my husband is far too used to seeing all the Amazon boxes show up for me to worry about hiding them from him.

But as he says, I spent small amounts regularly while he spends large amounts occasionally. And we are both content. It's not like we've missed one of our mortgages because of it…

Just remember, for those that live in community property states, your spouse owns half of your toys…

Cheers!
Dave

I just tell my wife it's cheaper than golf and I'm at home. No problem. Although I keep my ammo reloading purchases secret.

Wolfhag