"Paging Rebelyell2006..." Topic

I'm only doing this in public because as a standard member I have no access to the PM system.

Well we're both out of the DH now, Rebelyell2006. Unlike last time, I actually deserved it this time. We both did, to be honest. Interestingly, the stay in the DH actually did it's intended job in that I've thought about it and have had a change of heart.

It's clear we have taken a dislike for each other…or more accurately each other's online personas as I don't for a moment think we'd interact in this manner in the real world. Our "butting heads" has derailed a couple of threads now, was the direct cause of the epic train wreck that is the "Wrong Call" thread, and was no doubt at least part of the inspiration behind the "Civility" thread. In short, our little spat is disrupting the forum. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong here. (something we will not agree on) The fact is that we are being destructive. I'm no troll, so I hate to see the negative effect that both you and I are causing. It needs to end.

So I have a solution. It's best if we not interact. The best way to go about this is using an option I have never utilized on TMP before: the stifle button. Let's agree to put each other on "stifle" and "ignore" and go our separate ways. End of story. Problem solved.

How does that sound to you?

Well said TrenchRaider.

I'm not a fan of the stifle function and I don't want to live in an echo chamber where I only get my views reinforced. So, despite being nearer to Rebelyell2006 as an English conservative (yes the Tories are not synonymous the US Republicans) I do find your responses both good and original as it were.

The problem is that it's too easy to respond on TMP. I've written responses off line if they were contentious and then only posted if I was sure I wanted to post the remarks.

It's very easy to take things personally, one recent tread I felt that a member was suggesting certain criticism was off limits. We that's rather like being to told not to get "uppity" (to use an expression I've borrowed from the 'Merkins) in my book and I posted too quickly – well got my time out – because, damn it it was worth it! ;-)

Now I'm no stranger to being stifled- mine largely come from the "fanboys" of FoW who really can't take criticism of their rules, figures or pretty much anything to do with their favoured game. "Empire" fanboys are almost as bad (the Scotty Bowden set, not the GW group because I've never expressed any views on their game).

I've never stifled anyone, even the Young Earth Creationists I've encountered here and don't propose to start now.

Thanks.

I've never stifled anyone before. Rebelyell2006 will be my first, should he agree to my proposal. I never used "killfiles" back in my USENET days either for what it's worth. But I hate to see the forum subject to further disruption due to a personal conflict.

Oh, but one quick correction. I'm not a Republican. I'm a conservative. The two have become two very different things. ;-)

Have to say this, how do you think he will respond to this thread? If there was a thread about every stifle on TMP there would be no threads on miniatures or frothers (we may be onto something there!).

Having said that, its admirable to admit fault and seek to address an issue that will in the end make you a better person. Change is hard and often humbling.

Out of interest trenchraider what do you game?

He's not going to reply, TrenchRaider.

He may have pre-empted you and decided to stifle and/or ignore you already, in which case – he won't see this.

Which begs the question, why didn't you do that? Just quietly stifle and ignore him and go your own sweet way? Why this public song and dance about it?

Just do it and move on.

DBDD

Dear Trench Raider

I wished you had a membership that allowed private communication.

The answer is not stifling. The answer is to realize hat both of you went way over the line and to plot a different course. Both of you should try to understand the other more than castigating the other, finding out points of congruence than bones of contention.

The key to communication is to realize the basic humanity of the other side. After all, they ARE war gamers so how different can you be? Besides, Both of you have views passionately held for good reasons. The trick is to not fly off the handle and assume that they must be destroyed because of those views. There is a commonality between you two and I suggest that you are both far more alike than you are different. The question is to agree or disagree civilly, and properly and not simply fly to the red button to launch "the hurtful arrows" that cannot be recalled.

What is done is done. Therefore it is time for a new beginning. Take that opportunity to recognize mutual blame on both sides AND PUT THAT BLAME ASIDE and start Fresh. Stifling does none of that. It simply hardens the position and says to the other side-- "We have nothing in common, and we must remain enemies till crack of doom." Stifling cuts off communication and in my opinion is the cowards way out-- it says that one is not willing to reexamine one's beliefs, opinions, and conduct to where it might be egregious.

The true remedy of the situation is to where you and Rebell Yell can discuss matters civilly and WHERE ALL CAN DO THE SAME on this forum, which is NOT about presentist politics or current issues.
It would be the best solution if you and Rebell Yell could reach that level of conviviality. Perhaps that is foolish and can never be. There is a point where injuries become so egregious that they cannot be overcome. I do not think this is the case. both of you could achieve it if you want to.

If it cannot be then let this be a reminder to all of us of the consequences of un considered actions.

If there is no hope that we can overlook, get around, and handle these differences on a forum about a stupid silly hobby like war games, then what hope in this world to resolve Sunni versus Shia, Christian versus Jew, Liberal versus conservative, white versus black.

Does anyone know what the definition of "tolerance" is. It is NOT that mood of studied indifference that we tend to think of it today, it is literally "Living with something you hate." The context there is like living with an aching tooth. Real Tolerance is finding a way to deal with others who you hate but which, for the sake of common humanity you will not expunge.

I think, again, that in a silly stupid hobby like war games, where both have such an enormous amount of emotional, mental, and physical capital invested in the hobby, that would form a large common ground across which SOME modus vivendi could be reached.

Both of you said very many hateful things to each other during the recent interchange. Stifling is not the answer. Stifling only shuts down communication and brands the stifler as a person who does not wish to consider that he may be wrong or that the other peson is a

>>>He's not going to reply, TrenchRaider.

That says a lot. I'll just leave it at that, though…

Ah well.
At least I made a good faith effort to resolve this.

And on a much lighter note:
>>>Out of interest trenchraider what do you game?

Heh.
It would be easier to list what I have NOT gamed over the years. Like many gamers my interests are flexible and change over time. I get on "kicks" were I play something heavily for a time and then lose interest, only to pick it up again a few years later.

But in the last year I have played (in no particular order) Warhammer 40k, 28mm WW2 skirmish using Chain of Command, 15mm Field of Glory ancients/medieval, 28mm Rhodesian Bush War, Canvas Eagles in 1/177th scale, 28mm 19th Century Colonials, and Franco-Prussian War in both 28mm and 10mm.
To this add a couple of table top pen and paper RPGs. My painting desk is currently taken up by a 40k Thousand Sons Chaos Space Marine army.
Does that answer your question? ;-)

>>>He's not going to reply, TrenchRaider.

That says a lot. I'll just leave it at that, though…

Yes it does. It means he can't be bothered with dragging out the same issues that you BOTH dragged out through at least two other over lengthy threads.
It means he does not want to rise to the bait and does not want to play your "I am more mature than you" game.

That seems rather harsh John. Personally, I think the world would be a better place if more people were willing to step up and publically accept that they were or caused a problem.

Thanks, 21eRgt.

It's pretty sad that OFM's Sock Puppet purports to see a sinister or disingenuous motive behind my peace making attempt rather than taking it at face value.

I've been accused of many things. (some of them quite true) But I'm not a liar….

I, for one, applaud TrenchRaider's effort to bury the hatchet and foster a more peaceful climate here at TMP. Well done, sir!

>>>He's not going to reply, TrenchRaider.

That says a lot. I'll just leave it at that, though…

If all fairness to Rebelyell2006 that is because his account is now locked and he's banished from TMP. Whether he chose to have his account locked or he was banned I cannot say.

Shame

>>>>If all fairness to Rebelyell2006 that is because his account is now locked and he's banished from TMP.

I'm always the last to know. I do feel a tad silly sending a message thread to a guy who is no longer here. Well, this is a dead thread now.

>>>>Whether he chose to have his account locked or he was banned I cannot say.

According to his "intro" post over at LAF (in which he took a quick shot at TMP) he indicates he left on his own.

>>Shame

Not really.

Your opinion.
I liked many of his contributions.
Didn't agree with everything – why would anyone agree with everything someone else said? But I shall miss him.

I do feel a tad silly sending a message thread to a guy who is no longer here.

Don't feel bad for doing the right thing.

Fair enough.

I made a good faith effort to defuse the fight, even though the other party was not even around to reply.

Ah well. so it goes

Shame he is gone.
I probably agreed with him politically 5% of the time but I like and respect him.
You are the opposite. I agree with you about 85%.

It's easy to lock yourself out. Stifle an Editor and your account is locked.
It's a flamboyant way to bid adieu.

The volleying was enjoyable.

I am truly sorry that he is gone. I wish you well and hope to run into you someday.

I wish you well and hope to run into you someday.

Not while driving, I hope!

I'll miss his posts. More than the posts of those I've stifled, obviously.

He was an 'enfant terrible' at times but I'm sorry to see him go.
If he & LAF aren't a good fit, it would be great to see him return to the fold.

No Bill. Not while driving. But at one of the other war game sites that have sprung up. I see lots of names of folks that once came here but are no longer welcome/banned/left.