"Any good Quartermaster stories?" Topic

I'm sure there are some good ones out there--share them with us?

Ridiculous requests? Misunderstood requests?

I'm putting together a silly chart where players can request items/assets and they may get exactly what they asked for or something completely different (because "Well, we had extras of these, so that's what you're getting…").

One of my father's favorite stories from his time in the navy: asked to audit the tool kits for a workstation, he found that they had some extra items. He inquired what to do about the extras. The response he got? Make the extras disappear--accounting for them is too much trouble. Where should they go? *splash*

Looking forward to your stories.

Thanks!

They deactivated a brigade on the base my oldest son is stationed at. He, among others, in his battalion were detailed to 'acquire' available assets. Interesting stories.

I'll get back with you … after being a Mech Bn S4, Mech Bn then Bde BMO and Bde Asst S4 …I've got some I could share.

There's only one word a storeman needs, "No!!"

Looking forward to the stories, Legion 4!

As the Battalion Nuclear Weapons Transportation Officer for an artillery Battalion, I had to order a fire extinguisher for use when deploying by helicopter. We ordered the CO2 extinguisher listed in the manual and got a 6 foot tall cylinder mounted on two huge wheels. It was designed for use on the flight line, not in the field. It sat in our battery supply hut until I rotated out.

We had to order budwiser through the system (had to override the ordering code to do it), someone delivered boxes of .50s to the warehouse like no big deal instead of the armoury. Pilots using up all their fuel chits and in a tizzy because they'd lose flight hours without more (CG had to sign off).

Well let me see … My buddy in a CAV unit ordered a Naval Boat Anchor. What for ? I never found out ! When in the ROK, the new Bn Cdr wanted to upgrade/dig more bunkers. I ordered huge amounts of plywood, etc. … 6-8 months later I rotated back to the states. The wood never arrived. About a 6-8 months later some of my buddies in my Bn ended up back at Benning with me. And they told me stories of every so often a large truckload of lumber showed at our camp just South of the DMZ. And the next Bn Cdr and XO, had no idea who or why so much wood had been ordered. And of course my buddies said it was me but I had already rotated out. I remember ordering the wood. And a few days later the Div Spt Cmd Log Ofc called and asked if we were going to built a "cat" house up there by the Z. Told him we already had enough of those ! The new Bn Cdr want more bunkers so if & when the war started we'd have places to hide from the Nork FA. Still don't know whatever happened to all the wood. Hopefully it went to build the bunkers the previous Bn Cdr had me order it for …

Once you figure out how the Army's requisition system works behind the scenes, you would be amazed what you can pull off, especially with items on the property book.

The brigade command group was walking through the motor pool and the Bde XO noticed my tank line didn't line up exactly like the other companies'. Unfortunately, he knew me too well and my attempts at distraction failed. He started counting and found 18 tanks instead of the 17 on the property book. Things looked even bleaker when he found the extra jeep and 2 1/2 ton truck. I thought I was toast when he called the Brigade CO over. The CO busted out laughing, then just told me to get the extra vehicles turned in, correctly this time. Little did I know retribution from the XO was not long in coming.

At the end of each fiscal year, there is a game played at all levels of command to make sure every dollar in the unit's budget is spent. The fear is if you don't spend it, your budget will be cut that much next year, since you obviously didn't need it. Historically, the taxpayers get the shaft with lots of meaningless expenditures. The Bde XO stuck me with making sure the brigade's budget was spent exactly on target. That meant LOTS of command pressure and scrutiny from every field grade officer who had a plan to spend everything on their pet project. I did not win any friends when I repeatedly turned them all down. The last day of the fiscal year, I placed an order for over $6 USD million dollars worth of tank track, enough to re-track the entire division and leaving $1 USD in the brigade budget. Brigade and division HQs loved it. 2 days later, now another fiscal year, I cancelled the requisition. I caught all kinds of crap for it, but I saved the taxpayers millions.

There is also the games played when major equipment is returned to the depot for rebuild. They are supposed to be in operational condition when turned it. I turned in 2 M60A1s, but when they arrived at the depot, no one could explain how they were accepted without engines, transmissions, track, any road wheels or even gun tubes. They couldn't even figure out how we loaded them on the train.

We were running a joint operation with in the ROK. A USMC Rifle Co. flew in from Guam, IIRC. We were a Mech Bn and had a Tank Co attached. So they road on the rear decks of those MBTs. Their CO told me his guys really didn't like the MREs we were issued and eating. I told him I'm sorry, if I knew he and his men were coming I would of had it catered …

Legion, was that the summer of 85? If so, they were my tanks.

When I was in the 101 as a Rifle PL. The Bn deployed to Panama, the CZ. We were issued Jungle Fatigues and flop hats left over from Vietnam. The first formation the Bn had once deployed, everybody was in flop hats. In an a bunch of different configurations. The Aussie Bush Hat style was a favorite. The Bn Cdr didn't like all the individuality in his Bn. We were ordered to no long wear those. Which lasted until we were inserted in the jungle. And all helmets went in our rucks and the flop hats, patrol caps and drive-on rags came out. We just had to remember to put our helmets back on when if we were anywhere the Bn Cdr might be !

Yes Sir it was ! Your Tankers done good. Not sure if the Marines liked riding on the back of the tank decks though ? Of course, it's better than walking !

I remember in the 101 we got issued old LRRP Rats left over from Vietnam. They were dehydrated, so needed hot/warm water to be edible. We never had the time to heat up the water. But every morning big Mermite Containers with hot coffee were delivered by our Co XO. So we used the hot coffee to rehydrate the rats … they were pretty good ! Also I remember when the we were using up all the old C-Rats, before the new MREs were issued. However, as usual, the C-Rats were used up before the MREs made it into the system. So instead of C-Rats or MREs for chow. The Mess Halls made us all brown bag lunches ! Kind of funny seeing whole Companies marching to the Rifle Range with an M16 slung over one shoulder and in the other hand a little brown bag lunch !

On the Valiant SSN way back in the Cold War, we were just within surfaced to enter the Firth of Clyde after a 3 month patrol, so we start up on our signal broadcast schedule – first message is a Flash ordering us to head back out and tail a Soviet 'bomber' SSBN that had been picked up out West and heading south out to the Atlantic. Orders were to follow it at all costs. Assumption was it was heading West out to the mid Atlantic, when we could hand it of to WESTLANT. An extra month at most…

On a nuc boat the only endurance issue is food for the crew, assuming the condensers are working, which, somehow, all ours were for once. (Valiant was very, very old at the time, our was the last commission). Father Famine (CPO Caterer) duly reports that we should be fine for a month or so… At this point me and a couple of others were winched off and our replacements landed, and off they go out into the blue…

Years later I was on a course with the guy who had relieved me – he wasn't happy. The Sov boat wasn't going on station in the Atlantic – it was transitting to Vladivostock! After a month, for the next 3 months the crew were on a diet of tinned potatoes and tinned pineapple chuncks….

My mate assured me there are onlys so many combinations you can stand of these, and the one thing the trip definitely proved is that there is no way on this planet that human ingenuity can make chips (French Fries) out of tinned potatoes!

When I was in the 101, the BDUs were being phased in and replacing those horrible OD Fatigues that made you look like a delivery man. The first issue of BDUs shrunk and faded after only a few washings. Looks like the Gov't went with the low bidder option. The sleeves and legs would shrink differently. With one being considerably shorter than the other ? The black would fade to purple. So the troops used boot polish to color those areas in. And the light green almost faded to off white. So Higher HQ decided that you could wear the old [sucky] OD Fatigues, Camo Jungle fatigues, or the new BDUs if they didn't look too F'd up ! Until this F-up was fixed. Then later when I returned from the ROK to Benning. You could wear Green Jungle or Camo Jungle fatigues or the BDU. Until the issue of the new improved BDUs we completed, etc. Since I have all three uniforms, I normally wore jungles. Then we could no longer wear the Camo jungles, only the Green or New BDUs. I liked the jungle fatigues much better than the the BDU. So I always wore those. With Jungle Boots of course. But eventually the issued of the New BDU was going well. So I had to retire my beloved jungles. But while it lasted, it was a little "cool". Plus very unusual for the the military to have 3 different uniforms being worn. At the same time …