"Alternative Wargaming Phraseology" Topic

Some terms have evolved in the wargaming that have become universal but with a slight change, a whole new spin on them emerges. Such as:

LINE OF SIGH: When you look over at your opponents oncoming force and realise you're virtually powerless to stop him.

OPPORTUNITY FIE! A general complaint that the rules system you're playing today has no rules for opportunity fire.

BUCKET OF DIE: When loads of sixes are rolled at once.

UGO: You're ruining this game, go home.

EGO-UGO: On my turn I'm going to do something amazing and incredible that will destroy you and will talk you step by step through the process.

INTERPRETPENETRATION: When the rules for interpenetration are extremely vague and require a consensus.

INERTIATIVE: On my turn, I do nothing.

ARMY LESTS: These rules contain no army lists.

PINTS BALANCED: Only someone who's drunk could have put that army list together.

ODOUR OF BATTLE: That guy who is a stranger to soap but who insists on coming to your club every week.

TERRAINE EFFECTS: An argument over the merits of Field Marshall Haig in WW1. John Terraine's books on the subject will be evoked.

ELITE +1: The gamer who brings his stunning girlfriend along to a games event.

GREEN TROOPS -1: Criticism of someone using the wrong shade of green on their figures' uniforms.

MORAL CHECK: That pause before you do something that is within the rules of the game, but not the spirit.

AVERAGE DICE: White with black spots.

Very funny. I enjoyed that.

INERTIATIVE: On my turn, I do nothing.

That one I'm too familiar with – @#$% command rolls.

Related to:

UNPREPARED POSITION: When it's your opponent's turn they just sit and stare at their troops, pondering what to do.

Great compilation by the way! :)

GREEN TROOPS -1: Criticism of someone using the wrong shade of green on their figures' uniforms.

Which neither the painter nor the critic realize are supposed to be cornflower blue.

Pick Up Game needs no modification; just a change of venue.

SEQUENCE OF PAY: where your favourite rules system keeps spawning new expansion booklets.

David F Brown

Good one!

Not to be confused with SEQUINS OF PLAY which is an over elaborate quick reference sheet or the QUICK REFERENCE SH** which is a gamer who holds up a game with movie quotes, historical trivia and tangential "facts".

Excellent!

Might add

ERRATANOUS ZONES-- Unforseen logical gaps in the rules to be filled in later after complaints reach critical mass.

SIMULATION- A word of power invoked when someone notices a serious lack of play balance.

IMPULSE PHASE- When gamers at a con bolt and run when no one's looking and they realize they are in a soul-sucking endless game moving at a glacial pace.

or

IMPULSE PHASE- When against their better judgement gamers sign up for the game above on a whim.

ZONE OF CONSOLE: To pick the loss apart in the pub afterwards, convincing yourself there was nothing wrong with your tactics, it was just bad dice.

DIRE-RAMA: When you notice the figures you spent ages painting look like crap next to your opponents.

SAVING THROW – A one shot special ability that goes unused for the entire game, because you weren't sure if you'd need it later.

CODE-X – The language used for 'lawyer proof' set of rules that contain so many clauses, sub-clauses and related clauses to cover every possible situation that you only play them once.

ERMPIRE – When the bloke running the game obviously doesn't know the rules well enough.

PLAY-ERR – To pause halfway through moving a unit due to self doubt.

ACCU-RIGHT: Player who will spend 20 minutes arguing measurements down to a fraction of a millimeter.

COLLATERAL DRAMAGE – The cries of anguish and rage that accompany that decisive bad die roll: "All I needed was ONE ing SIX! and I get nine ones!"

SCENERYO – 1) A scenario where the terrain layout is so specific in layout, and there is so much of it, that it takes half the evening to set it up.
2) Often caused by (1) – a game where the terrain gets in the way of playing.

BITSKREIG – A set of rules that on first glance appear to be laid out logically, but actually has all the parts to a rule scattered throughout the book under the relevant sections (so the effect of movement on firing is under movement), rather all in one place.

CARD DRIVEN – A game which require supplementary purchases for months to come.

SAVING ROLE – The burden that comes with being the only player on your side who hasn't screwed up, and is now being expected to do the job of a Division with a battalion while your allies try to rally their troops.

OFF TABLE SUPPORT – The bar.

FLUNKING MANOEUVRE – The failure to reserves on the table.

CHAIN OF GOURMAND: That moment when all the players around a table are in a line from the fattest to the thinnest.

Very funny!

Let me offer up this, which I've observed several times:

META GAZE: When an attractive player distracts a romantically-inept opponent attracted to their gender by means of revealing clothing.

Given the gender representation at a typical historical wargame that could only be Meta Gays.