"Have I overreacted?" Topic

"Damn Yankee can mean different things depending on whether you are in Europe or the American South ;)"

Hell yea, damn those Yankees.

OT: everyone on the Internet is required to have a minimum of six post graduate degrees, so I understand how they might take offense at your disparagement of math hammer. *rolleyes*

Grief can jump on you at anytime, a smell, an item or something else.
The anger it brings leaks over into many things.

I would suggest talking to a professional if possible, my head Doc worked wonders on me, no idea really how it worked, just that it helped.

Good Luck,
Lee Sweeney
My real name

In another thread Alan said

" I personally will not read any articles that use BCE and CE for dating. In my opinion it disrespects Christ and as He is looking after my beautiful wife Amanda for me the very least I can do in return is show Him respect."

He needs some proper grief counselling over his wife, and some proper cloud fairy counselling over his beardy man in the sky thing.
He does have a tendency to bring them both up whenever a discussion doesn't go his way.

I feel for him, but at the same time find myself a bit disgusted that he feels it's ok to use Amanda as a means to try and "win" on gaming forums.

Always sad to see someones grief affect how they deal with day to day life in such a big way.
But to be fair Rebelyell was being extremely insensitive by continuing the baiting even when the real issue was clear. It did rather read to me that he was enjoying making Alan feel worse by his crass use of language if nothing else, very much a case of kicking someone when they're down.

Crumple, let's also try not to descend into anti-religious vitriol. Your posting will be quite offensive to some, and while you clearly have managed to reach a firm conclusion about whether God exists, a great many people, many of whom are smarter than you or I, still struggle with that Great Question. Your statement could be interpreted as bigoted.

Although Alan is grieving, you score no points by appearing to suggest that only those who are mentally unbalanced can believe in a greater power than themselves. Charity (in the original sense of the word) I hope still reigns here on the board…

Yeah… I'm not sure one needs to make flippant comments about other people's beliefs when making the (quite relevant) point that ignoring articles that use CE and BCE is perhaps an example of overwhelming grief.

Which is to say, I'm glad it sounds like Alan has friends who are looking out for his wellbeing, and internet forums are probably a bad place to be at times like this. I hope if and when he does come back to using the intertubes though, that he's able to distinguish between people simply speaking and people disrespecting his faith.

Ie. I don't think someone saying "respect the math" actually uses respect in the same sense as we might mean when we speaking of respecting what we worship, nor is BCE/CE actually saying anything at all one way or the other about Christ or Christianity.

FWIW for this little side-debate, I ought to clarify that I myself am not religious, but I've got no particular axe to grind about that.

Also, I'm inclined to find John Treadaway's argument compelling (despite disagreeing, on the whole), but I suspect that there are more people who have internet handles for fun purposes than for trolling purposes.

Drumcharry, while the issue may have been clear for you, it was not clear for everybody else. If his friends had not stepped in to explain the situation, I would have thought he was pulling our legs and baiting us, especially with the vitriol of some of his posts and the way he reacted to the responses to his original post. But I was mistaken and he has serious grief issues beyond the centuries-old debate over CE/AD, the use of statistics and probability in game tactics, etc.

Longstrider, it isn't a matter of using anonymity for trolling. When considering the internet, (and after stripping away encyclopedias, online stores, personal websites, TimeCube, Lemon Party, etc.) it can be grouped into two major spheres. The first sphere revolves around people using the internet as a tool to complement real-life interactions: Facebook, Myspace, the comments sections of local small-town newspapers, etc. The people who use those websites in that manner already know each other, and use those websites as a way to communicate more efficiently for a larger audience, as opposed to individually calling or mailing letters, or leaving notes at homes or workplaces. They know each other, might see each other on a daily basis, or might even live in the same house or apartment. The second sphere revolves around people using the internet as an alternative for real-life interactions: Fark, Reddit, 4Chan, the comments sections for national and international news media, Youtube, etc. The people who use those websites in that manner do not know (or are unaware that they know) the other users, and mainly have no interest in knowing who they are communicating with and have no interest in other people knowing who they are. That group tends to be international in formation, and two debating people could be living on the opposite sides of the globe without realizing (or they might in fact realize that, which is causing the debate). When people complain of "cyberbullying" or "trolling", it is the result of people crossing from one sphere to another and not realizing how different things are between the two. TMP also makes things difficult because some people here actually know other people, and TMP is used as a marketing tool for online stores and merchants, so real names do come up and need to come up for making trade easier and safer. TMP is used to coordinate events and games, but it is also used as a resource for learning about the latest trends, new products, historical research and hobby tips and techniques, and the latter group falls more within the anonymous sphere of the internet. Personally I try to stay anonymous on the Message Boards, while I reveal myself more in the Parlor and in Marketplace interactions. Not all people look at TMP that way.

Personally I would have thought the stating of the facts about Alans wife several times prior to your postings should probably have made it fairly clear for you! I felt the way you carried on sniping looked like you were enjoying the opportunity someone elses grief had given you. I didn't realise that you simply hadn't read his posts.

Personally I would have thought the stating of the facts about Alans wife several times prior to your postings should probably have made it fairly clear for you!

Anybody can say anything online, but that does not necessarily mean that their statements are always the truth. Re-read my second paragraph; this is the sort of issue that arises when people merge a Facebook-type of website with an anonymous forum.

Guys, time to step away from this one perhaps?

I have just returned to look at this forum after a month or so away and this will certainly be my last posting on TMP.

I'd like to be able to retract my threat of violence against Rebelyell2006 and I do, but I would be dishonest if I retracted my statement about my feelings about him. He disgusts me. That said, threatening him was wrong.

Crumple, I'm not trying to provoke an online fight with you even though I won't see your reply but you haven't walked a minute in my shoes mate so your comment "I feel for him, but at the same time find myself a bit disgusted that he feels it's ok to use Amanda as a means to try and "win" on gaming forums." means nothing to me, you are quite simply wrong. Nor does your anti religious tirade mean much either. Don't "feel" for me, please. No disrespect but I really don't want it.

In 30 months I have lost my grandmother, 2 uncles, a cousin who was like a second father to me when I was growing up and of course my darling wife. I don't have much family left after all that. I don't say that to elicit sympathy no matter what you might think or to excuse what I said on TMP because frankly, other than the threat, I don't regret saying much of it. I say that only to illustrate why wargaming doesn't seem to matter much anymore and consequently why I won't be here again. As for friends…..don't get me started on that.

Wargaming DID matter, don't get me wrong, it kept me sane in the endless evenings sat alone whilst everyone else was with their partners and "quite OK thank you very much", that's why I got so angry when things I said on the FFG forum seemed to be twisted in ways that I really hadn't meant when I typed. The more I tried to explain, the worse it got, I should have just walked away, too late now. They're still at it BTW, the same people tearing some poor lad to bits about green dice and luck versus skill, all very sad. I looked in as I needed to check on my details, they should have been deleted by now but they weren't which disappointed me. I did get an apology for the way I was spoken to on the forum from FFG though, which was good of them. They must have seen some things they weren't happy with, it was nice to know that, at least in their eyes, I wasn't imagining it. It doesn't matter a jot to me now of course but at least it brought their attention to the trolling issue which was my intent.

But yeah, wargaming? It was fun, still is from time to time but the passion has gone now, I appreciate all the kind words and advice here, I really do but I don't feel as though I want to be part of an "online community" anymore. I'm struggling to put much interest into my local club, let alone the internet. There's no fun in winning a game then coming home and having nobody to tell about it. Not that Mandy ever paid much attention, you know what women are like, but it was better than what I have now. Rule 101 of being a widower, there are no prizes for struggling. If you don't enjoy it, what are you doing it for? So I'm going to do it less, maybe stop.

I had counselling BTW, from the hospice where Mandy passed over. It worked at the time, but when you're a widower 3 is a crowd, everyone else still has their person and well….it wears you down eventually, I will leave it at that, it's not the right place to go any deeper into it.

So after 10 years on this site it's goodbye from me. I'll leave you with the mighty words of Wham from the 80s…"Do you enjoy what you do? If not, just stop……" So I will.

Having read through this, twice… I'm really schocked this thread wasn't shut down.
it got a little nasty on page 2… and off track. It was a moderator's nightmare.

My 2¢.
Austin

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