"Crimean War reenactors to fight modern Russian army" Topic

from the very marvellous Daily Mash
link

Tempted, very tempted.

Well that would be a hoot !

I rather enjoy the Mash. Bring it!

Awesome. :D

I know that there Russian reenactors of the Crimean war as well. Maybe let them decide the issue.

"Pardon me, sir? I say, Russian chap? Might I have a word?"
"??? Vat iz dis?"
"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Reginald C. Spivey, Esq., currently serving as Chairman of the Lancaster Crimean Historical Enthusiasts Society and Commander of the 4th Regiment of Foot— the King's Own, as I am certain you are well aware."
"King? Vat king?"
"I know, I know, Victoria reigns and all that, but we earned our colors under George the Second, of course, and the traditions must be maintained."
"George the Sec— vat iz it you do here?"
"Right, right. Down to business. I appreciate that in you Russian chaps, I really do. The reason for our parlay, of course, is to set down the terms of this morning's battle."
"Battle?"
"Yes, we must have terms, of course. Now Nigel and Clive over there— you see Clive? He's the one giving the wave— He sees you, Clive, thanks!— they've agreed to fall down in the first wave, though, obviously, they shan't be doing that until they reach the soft grassy bit of the field— the mud is dreadfully hard on the hats, don't you know— while Andrew, Nathaniel and Thomas—
"THEY CAN CALL ME TOM!"
"Right, you can call him Tom— they've chosen to do a glorious stand and collapse at the front lines. If you could see through to surround them and slather a bit— nothing like a good Russian slather to entertain the crowds, you know— that would be grand. Really put the spirit in the old thing, eh, what?
Of course, as for myself and the other lads, we'll naturally be planting the colors in your position as you chaps break and run for the proverbial hills, as it were. Now, we don't want you to give in too easily, of course, that would never do. Make a real show of it, firing in the air, clashing bayonets— you did bring bayonets, right?"
"Va? Da, ve have bayonets—"
"Good, good— capital, in fact! So many forget the proper kit, and, well, one has to admit yours is somewhat lacking in the panache and accuracy we expect, but we're willing to make allowances. One has to start somewhere, after all. Now, if you would just indicate to me which of your men will be our casualties, which our captives, and which will become the panicked rout, we can get on with the festivities, what?"

That ought to get the Russians to surrender on the spot.

Parzival; great piece.

The reenactors who suggested this must be put in a nuthouse

not sure this is not a story like the ones we get at the onion here in the us

Hahahah!!! That was one of the funniest things I've read in some time -- only out-done, Parzival, by your own contribution. I agree with KTravlos, when I sent copies and links to folks here in the USA, I mentioned "The Onion" by way of explanation in advance. Sincere thanks to Lord Hill for the OP, and Parzival for his expansion module!