"Important Message for TMP Members" Topic

Many of you will have miniature metal figurines of soldiers and warriors from throughout history, as well as a number of books that will allow you to argue about the correct shade of Puce for the button-hole lace of Lord Botolph's Light Cuirassiers.

It is rumoured you can use one to help you paint the other, then combine with some sort of rule book to allow you to play games.

Apparently it isn't compulsory that these figurines lay untouched in a cupboard or draw.

Rumor has it that you really should let them age in large piles for several decades,though.

Apparently it isn't compulsory that these figurines lay untouched in a cupboard or draw.

Then explain why I have lived to be 258 years old.

Separate male and female miniatures unless you want to game in smaller scales.

258? Is that in dog years? Although massive piles of lead surely cut down on the background radiation and we all know radiation is bad for you.

That is great news! I thought that it was required that I constantly buy into new scales and genres that I will probably never play!

I can finally be free of that!

(at least until I see the next range that I HAVE to have!)

the correct shade of Puce for the button-hole lace of Lord Botolph's Light Cuirassiers.

Oh dear me, schoolboy error…Everyone knows Lord Botolph's Light Cuirassiers (The Fruit Pickers) have 'Kiwi Fruit Green' colored lace around their button holes.

I think you'll clearly find, upon rereading 'Dawns and Departures of A Soldier's Life' by General Sir Harry Flashman, VC, KC, that puce is the colour the eponymous Lord Botolph turned when a fatal misunderstanding at the Battle of Umboto Gorge resulted in the Regiment taking his lisped order of 'Wegiment, by ve weft, weft weel' as a sign that he had been mortally wounded, whereupon the entire regiment bolted to the rear, where he later found his regiment in an orchard gorging on kiwifruit……hence the colour of their lace.

Sadly Lord Botolph subsequently died of that seizure and so, to commemorate his glorious death on the field of honour, to this day the regiment feasts on kiwifruit on the anniversary of Umbuto Gorge, except memorably in 1942 at El Alamein when a shortage of Kiwi Fruit meant the Officers Mess was forced to make do with a crate of Creme de Menthe…Once again the subsequent incapacity of the Officers to lead the regiment into action at that epic battle left the Regimental Guidon without a Battle Honour, so that now a proud Regimental tradition is to refrain from appending its Battlehonours to its Guidons…both of them…

By the way, it is a common myth that you can only play this "game" on the floor, when in fact you can also play it on a large table top!

I've heard that a random number generation system can be used to add a measure of excitement and uncertainty to the games. I remember hearing something about small plastic cubes, but that's probably just an urban legend.

It is also possible to resolve doubts about distances by using some sort of measuring device.

Hmmmm….and I was expecting a zardoz pic ?

I think this whole thread needs more boobies.

HERETIC!!! BLASPHEMY!!!

Burn the witch, she turned me into a newt….I got better

Rumors Blasphemous Rumors!

Everyone knows that these figures are children's toys, to be melted down into bullets when a British Officer kills your child.
I know this is true I saw it in a movie!!

I have participated in numerous efforts to use these small bits of painted lead (or in some instances, plastic) do do something called "refights" that are supposed to give "players' a chance to "change history." The trouble is I check my history books afterwards and NOTHING HAS CHANGED!

I have heard that all this war-gaming is just a dummy downed version of the study of the military arts and science. And I also heard that some use cardboard counters to accomplish the same thing…

VR
James Mattes

There are rumours the bricoles are not required to play, but I hesitate to put such a heretical idea to the test.

I've got a bunch of insubordinates who can't hit a thing they shoot at and die, despite being ordered not to. I think they laugh at me when I leave the room and conspire to rub up against one another so that I am constantly having to touch up their paint jobs. I've occasionally caught deserters in the ranks of my regular opponents and have to set them aside for special treatment.
I'm at the end of my rope, I tell you. I expect to be found one day covered in tiny bayonet wounds.

It may not be compulsory, but it is certainly our choice to do so if we want to.